No more

Morning

I understand how you feel about the money I don't hold on to mine and ask for what I need yes it's a little humiliating bug you do get used to it I used to ask for 40p everyday at the start to get a paper I don't bother now. As humiliating as it is it's no where near as bad as it would be to come and tell your wife you've done it again. It's a part of the triangle broken and that makes it work.

As for the urges I've not had many and as oddat said its probably down to fact because people know you won't get away with it and it sounds like you have accepted you can't gamble as the end result would be so destructive and you may well loss more than just money.

Keep reading and posting it helps.

KTF

Thanks KTF. I'm finding it's helping me by reading and posting. I like to read back and see the daily progress. Sure it'll all take a bit of getting used to both for me and my wife. Thanks for the support.

Day 23. Normality resumes as wife back to work after her hols. I'm back Tue. Keeping myself busy with the kids. Still no thoughts about gambling. Going to phone about counselling sessions on Mon. Still need to go to the GA meeting on Thu. Don't feel like I want to or need to go but wife says I should. Would rather try the counselling and write on this. I said I'd do whatever she wants me to do though so I better go. Anyone else not go and find other effective ways to stay off it?

Plenty of people here doing things their own way, some more successfully than others but the long timers are all GA members! As the pain of where you were @ begins to fade, it's easy to make excuses to not do stuff but you've had good advice about how GA works & rightly so, the least you can do is prove to wifey that you're gonna do everything you can to make amends - ODAAT

Yeah you're right. Probably trying to run before I can walk. . .

Day 24 feeling frustrated. Still no thoughts about gambling other than how I've wasted 20 yrs of my life doing it. Daughters birthday today and visitors came around. As I thought about those who were visiting I realised how they all live in nice houses. I'm not a material person but if I hadn't done what I'd done I'd be living in a nice house too. It's really P*ssing me off and can be sure that my wife will be thinking the same. This is now my new goal - save save save and hopefully in the next couple of years We'll be in the house we both want to be in.

Hi enoughs enough,

I just read your post on payday loans. I borrowed 50k over 4 years to fund my gambling. I received a total of 10k refund.

You basically write to the payday loan companies asking for interest back as the loans were unafordable. I was taking payday loans to pay payday loans. In a cycle of debt. If you aren't happy with their offer tell them you are going to the financial ombudsman.

Google search under payday loan refunds under irrespondible lending or look at the financial ombudsmans websites they have all the cases listed against payday loans and the details of each case.

Definately pursue it.
Good luck.
Toad

Thanks Toad. It was ur post I read that actually got me thinking about it. I went on to a site and got template letters and trawled through my bank statements for the detail. Sent letters away on Sunday. Just unsure what to do if either the lender or the ombudsman ask to see my bank statements and they'll see they're full of gambling transactions? Tens of thousands of pounds.

Day 25. Back to work today and back to a bit of normality. A few comments from guys about football season starting back up and what their tips are etc but I'm not remotely interested in conversing about it. Work is bad for trying to goad you in to buying raffle tickets for various prizes. I'd usually participate as I didn't see it as gambling as It didn't excite me in any way. To be honest I'd rather not take part as it's just giving away money all the time as I've never won anything. It's just thinking what to say when I get asked to buy them as everyone in the office takes part and it's kinda expected - I've done it for 4 years. Should I continue or should I just give a donation and not take a ticket?

Hi enoughs enoughs,

It's too your advantage that the payday loan companies and later the financial ombudsman see your bank statements.

I wrote i got 6k refund but it was a typo. I got 10k refund.

Basically tell the payday loan companies you had a gambling addiction and if they had checked your bank statements they would have seen that. Were you overdrawn? Did you take multiple payday loans? Basically payday loan companies fired money at customers and should have checked your bank statements. It was irresponsible of them.

Definately pusue it.
Toad.

Hi Toad

I sent the detail off on Sun but didn't mention gambling addiction. I've had responses from 4/5 saying they're investigating my complaint. I think I'll wait and see what their answer is before volunteering the gambling info. Did you volunteer the bank statements at the outset when you made the complaint? I didn't have an overdraft but I took out multiple loans (hundreds) over the months and years to pay other payday loans off. All visible in my statements. Interest on the 5 companies add up to £10k. Only issue is the 6th company I used has gone out of business and I used that most - around £5k in Interest just on that 1 company.

Day 26. Feel so "normal" like gambling has never been a part of my life. Excited for what the future holds. Still meant to have GA meeting on Thu. Not sure what it's going to do for me. Would much rather have 1-1 counselling through gamcare. Not looking forward to Thu night

Day 27. Feel writing on this every day helps me / will help me to look back on what leading a "normal" life without the usual stress and worry can feel like. I can actually sleep now!

Day 28. First meeting last night. Actually really enjoyed it. Lots of personal reflection and identification. 4 weeks gambling free and never felt more positive or had a clearer mind.

Day 29. Gave my wife money to buy a top. Money that would normally be used on a spin of a roulette wheel. Didn't make me feel any better right enough. Hate the thought of how much I've gambled and have nothing to show for it. One day I'll have the material things I want in life and it'll be through saving and hard work rather than the luck of the draw!