No more lies or secrets

Thanks loxxie and annie for your continued amazing support. I have had the mirena b4 annie it was best thing ever but due to cancer treatment they removed it. I did ask for it again but gp wants me 2 have scans bloods ect before they proceed with anything. Loxxie how do I add dean's group on fb I miss the chat but due to working nights I can't always get on. On a brighter note am happy to say I'm 4 whole weeks gamble free today and not even thought about gambling so that's a big step for me and just for today I will not gamble.

Hey merc add on face book...it's a wedding photo on his page ...four weeks...get in there girlie those days are marching on now...xxxx

30 days gf today 🙂

Hi merc well done on 30 days gf...hope you are feeling better soon. Take care x

Not posted for a few days as not in a good place at the moment. Really don't know what's wrong as I'm flitting between crying my eyes out and horrible attacks of overwhelming rage and I don't know why. At the doctors tomorrow for blood tests. I have been an absolute evil cow this weekend to my Oh, he only asked me to make a drink yesterday and I just screamed and shouted at him. Iv spoken to my daughter tonight about my mood swings and sat down with oh and told him how I'm feeling and apologised. I haven't gambled or had the urge to and attended my GA meeting tonight which helped me alot. I did nip on chat tonight but burst into tears so came off I feel like I'm going mad. I hope my blood tests show something or I think really will lose the plot. This is the worst I have felt since I stopped gambling and it's not a nice feeling at all. Sorry for rambling on.

Better to ramble than gamble.

I don't pretend to understand the emotions of the fairer s*x so I'm not going to try. I still have up and downs as we all do not always gambling related you know something I have friends who don't gamble who have bad days.

Just part of life tomorrow's another day and at least your realising you've been cow which you probally wouldn't of if you was gambling.

KTF

Thanks oldham it's hard at the moment as we are both under alot of pressure with work health ect I wanted to stay for the full meeting tonight but at docs at 8am and wouldn't of got home until gone 10 but I think I will stay next week was good just to talk tonight and I didn't realise how many meetings there were at Manchester in a week until tonight I look forward to my meeting now instead of dreading it. Can't believe it will be five weeks on Wednesday gamble free.

Five weeks I can believe that. I might pop down to a Manchester meeting and surprise you some time. I think it would be good if you stayed on one week even if you just do the first half.

The mood will change back as quick as it went bad. Just stick with it just for today.

KTF

Hi oldham and yeah it would be good to see you at Manchester. You were right about the change in mood feel much calmer now than past few weeks and pleased to say 5 whole weeks gamble free today. It's the first time in along time that we have money in the bank and have not had to struggle about food shopping paying the bills ect which has been nice. Get paid again in just over a week so hopefully will be able to sort out a car this month which will make a huge difference in my life. No more 2 hour journeys to work and some extra time with oh. And just for today I will not gamble

That's nice to hear merc...isn't it lovely to not be juggling the money for another fix of those vile slots.....hope you get car sorted...then you can come visit in the summer lol ....xx

Hi loxxie hun. Had a good sleep today no thoughts of gambling but all barriers still in place. Just taking it one day at a time and just for today I will not gamble.

Well 36 days gf and got a shift sharp shock as to what I have done when I got in from work this morning. Oh quartly bank statement and there it was in black and white my last gambling binge Ewwwww. Was like a punch to the stomach but then I thought but look at the statement since I stopped nothing not one deposit and that made me more determined than ever not to let this evil horrible addiction get the better of me and just for today I will not gamble.

Like you said merc...look at the posative...not the negative.....and the next statment will be zero to those vile online slot sites....yehaaaaa xxxx

Thanks loxxie and I'm definitely looking at the positives. Oh came home from work and we spoke about it just like me it was hard for him to read as well but understands that was in the past and we have both drawn a line under it. He told me tonight how proud he is of how I'm doing and has encouraged me to stay on for the full meeting at Ga but is not pushing me and has told me to do it when I'm ready. Just off to work will hopefully try and get on chat for 10 min tonight tc xxx

Hi Clare thanks for your kind words Hun and as always really appreciated , Don't worry about missing the party , I saved you some soggy cake anyway but we'll have a bigger knees up at 12 months egh ? , look at you girl with all this positivity whizzing around your pages , 36 days whoop , whoop , you go girl , really pleased for ya ! Have a great evening and thanks again xx