no win situation

Thanks Curly

For popping in on me.I have only just found the energy to type as i have been out all weekend celebrating City winning the cup.Not much of a final for most but for myself and other City fans we have waited 35 years so it was bliss.

It was great watching the game without having to worry who was scoring the first goal or what the final score would be.I have been to watch City several times this season ,instead of spending my time in the bookies.Of course i have had more money left from my wages without the gambling.Maybe Curly is right.This could be my reward.When i stay gamblefee next season my reward may be the premiership or champions league lol.We can all dream.Thanks all Jeff.

Hi Jeff.

I've not played Boysnope Park mate but i have heard of it. Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing! I've just had a look at the card online and i fancy that a big lad like yourself should be driving the par 4 8th.

Have a good knock mate.

Hi Jeff. Just caught up with your diary. Sorry for my absence and lack of support of late. You are doing really well and can be really proud of where you are. It's always sad when a parent uses a child as a pawn. My ex used to do that. Your boy will grow up and then he will not be happy with his Mum. He'll come and find you and build a real good relationship. It's a shame you miss out at the moment but I believe what goes around comes around. Maybe this is a test for you to stay stopped and make you a stronger person. I have put people through hell when I gambled and have to live with the aftermath of my actions.

You are doing the right thing. Being patient and waiting for her to contact you. You should be really really proud of You. God Bless. xx

Alright Jeff,

Thanks for dropping by the other week, I was at one of my frequent, but hopefully becoming less frequent low ebbs.

I must admit that I would love City to beat Utd in the Champs league semis next season, then show fergie how to deal with Barca in the final....

Being a Hammers fan in Swansea isn't all that at the moment to be honest,...and though I'm chuffed for the Swans fans I feel like a stuck record with my 'keeping your seats in the championship warm' line!

Beating gambling is only one facet of life, and doesn't mean the rest will go smoothly, but keep at it and that's a much better chance.

All the best mate,

Ryan

Hi Jeff!

Glad to see your still going strong on the gamble front.Really hope things work out for you so you can get to spend some time with your son.That can't be easy for you mate.

Just want to say thanks Jeff for your input on here.And having success diaries like yours is an inspiration to all...including me.

Oh yeah and before i go....Just seen Young is on his way to UTD!

Thats good for us.Hope they get rid of Valencia now as i don't rate him.Infact City can have him for free.lol.

Always good talking to you.

Keep it good.

Viggo.

BUMP!!

This diary does not belong on page 5.

I look forward to reading an update from one of the real success stories on GAMCARE.

Awe Jeff,

Thanks so much for your lovely message and please feel free to offer me any advice! I am certainly not above listening to someone just because I was a disaster before you were! 😉

You seem to be doing very well, as is wp and I am so glad. As I said to him, I am not in 'bad shape' in the way I was before but I am very alert to the fact I am losing my grip and so here I am. I will not let my pride get in the way of a happy life.

It was like getting a warm hug from an old friend to hear from you again so thanks a million. I feel stronger already.

Eyes X

Hi All

Thanks as always Curley,Eyes,Sabine,Leedso and viggo for posting on my diary.Im not posting as much these days,but just thought i would give a post for people to maybe debate on.I suppose really with me being over 21 months gamblefree and being better off in everyway i can think of that i want to push my view on how this should be done.As always i stress it is just my view.

Its simple TOTAL ABSTAINANCE.There are lots of ways to do this and it varies with each individual.

I am reading from more and more diaries that they are controlling gambling.

Read the headline on the top of the page.Gamcare provides support,information and advice to ANYONE SUFFERING THROUGH A GAMBLING PROBLEM.

My line is why would you be suffering if it is controlled? Why would you need support ,information or advice if it was controlled.

Im quite sure there are plenty of people on here who would agree with me and im sure there are a few who wouldnt.I keep an open mind about things like this and would be interested in hearing from anyone who has been on this forum for say 3 years and are happy with their controlled gambling.

Moving away from this theme, i am happy to say my life is completely changed and at the moment every day gets better.I really want the same for everyone on here.All the best Jeff.

Morning Jeff...

Firstly, I aspire to be you... 21 months is an incredible achievement. My 3 pail in significance... although a massive achievement for me.

Second... your point on controlled gambling. I was thinking about this very thing yesterday.

From what I have read of those that are trying it they don't seem.to be massively successful. And they certainly don't seem to be having fun.

Isn't that why we all started gambling? For fun? And I don't mean started being compulsive or addicted... I mean in the beginning. Before it was a problem. In my view, if you are gambling and its not fun, its a problem. If you try to continue gambling in a controlled way, but you're not having fun then what's the point?

I got to say I just don't get it. Each to their own though I guess.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

Thanks Start again

Im glad someone agrees with me.Of course you are right we all started out gambling just to have a bit of fun(or at least most of us).i know sometimes people fall off the wagon so to say,but i feel these people deserve even more credit for getting back in the saddle and starting again (curly)tried a few times to give in and eventually it has worked for him.He never stopped giving up on giving up.I can think of a few people who set out at roughly the same time as myself on this road to recovery who are still gamblefree wp AND Seano to name 2 and i think there will be a few more but i cant think of anyone who has done just controlled gambling for all that time.

Drug addicts dont go into rehab so they can continue taking drugs and alchoholics dont go to AA to continue drinking.i dont believe a compulsive gambler can continue to gamble.Forgive the pun but for me to even attempt it is too much of a gamble.All the b est Jeff.

Jeff appreciate your view and congratulate you and others who have managed long term total abstinence. Great that you feel your life is better without gambling. I have never been able to see how my life would be better without gambling in it so cling to the hope that I can control it long term despite failed attempts to date for any longer than 7 months. Would love to be able to come on at some time in future and say I've done the 3 years controlled you quote and had fun doing it. Whether that will happen or whether I need to abstain completely time will tell.

Thanks Captain

For posting on my diary.Its good to hear from you.I appreciate that you are dealing with things your own way and i really hope that you can come back and post on my diary after a couple of years and say you have achieved your aim.To be honest with you Captain you lasted 7 months and that was a great achievement,i am yet to see any longer from anyone.Nevertheless there are hundreds or maybe thousands on here who have done a lot longer through total abstainance.The facts speak for themselves.Of course i wish you all the best in trying to control your gambling.but i feel its harder to do than stopping completely.All the best Jeff.

Morning Jeff,

Good to see you are doing well!

I have often wondered whether it is possible for a Compulsive Gambler to return to some form of controlled gambling. I guess it's up to the individual. Perhaps we could do some sort of survey as to the success rate.

I for one accept I can't gamble at all. I have no power over it and that has, at times, been for me a sign of weakness for me but accepting that I have no control has been the key to my success. I look at friends who have a gamble, say buy a lottery ticket or have a bet on something else and this can be done sensibly. I can't do sensible haha...so it's best to just say no.

I applaud anyone who can gamble and make a regular income out of it but I'm unsure as to whether, once the CG line has been crossed whether it is possible to reverse behaviour.

Well done on your success Jeff. Take Care

Jas x

Hi Jeff,

Just read the last couple of pages of your diary. Firstly, congrats on your period of abstinence, its a real achievement and hopefully the start of something amazing. I completely agree with you total abstinence is the only way to deal with problem gambling. Its something that has been proven when i was attending GA and hopefully i'll be able to start attending meetings again soon. I've really been questioning this site lately, thinking f**k it, i can do it on my own and then think again and know i can't. There seems to be more and more people coming on here and glorifying gambling, one 'controlled gambler' going as far as to tell a new member to get lost and come back when serious. Anyway, sorry to rant on your diary, keep up the good work, enjoy life and start looking forward to 2 years of total abstinence ;-))

Keith

Thanks Jas and keith

Jas i know you have done things roughly the same as myself and i have to agree I think neither of us could ever go back to gambling.I think i would gamble again if i thought it could be controlled,but that will never happen as i feel if you are in control then why ask for help.I cant control it but i can do without it.

Keith well done on your recovery so far.Yeah i did read the post you mention and it was probably the post that prompted me to the question can a compulsive gambler ever control gambling afterwards.I hope Captain doesnt mind me using him as an example ,but he has been on this forum for around the same time as myself.Ive never met him but ive worked out (rightly or wrongly)that he is a very determined strong minded person.I admire his determination to control his gambling and i have not yet heard from anyone outlasting his 7 months.Nevertheless , if i had stopped for 7 months and then tried to control my gamblig i would be back in the same old boat .I am willing to listen to sucsess stories of controlled gambling and i do keep an open mind.But in the words of rafa benitez Facts.

Thanks all.