Ok here i go!

Blownitagaib wrote:

It's the not sleeping that's killing me at moment go to bed at 11 end up coming back down and watching a film on sky at about 2am go to sleep at 4ish get up at 8 ish, all because my head wants me to go down services and spend what ever I have..... been going on abit now and I want it to b****r off!!!

Try listening to something like this when you cant sleep - nothing better than someone reading you a story 🙂

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b044jhrs

Sbb

Yeah I watch videos on internet before bed too.... n e way ... lol

Tonight been pretty hard had to go down country with a pal, on way back wanted to stop at services for fobts , I purposely only bought a tenna out with me, said didn't want to go as had no brass offered to leand me 100, said no don't gamble any more, had a debate as to why then offered to give me 40 quid to go in any play and that way I wasn't wasting my money, my arguement being that didn't matter as I'd loose that then borrow more etc.

So sat in services car park on my own starving but didn't go in, and I know he's coming out now 150 down!!!

Hard though truelly

Great result, I would rather sit by myself starving than give those theifs my money or anyone else's money come to think of it.

Again great result

Malc

Another night of no sleep, , head just won't stop thinking the main problem with that is im grumpy as hell during day feel nackered think can't wait to go to bed, then when bed time comes in wide awake! Been going on a while now.

Urges still there it's really funny how your head can try justify it and talk you round, :some times I feel crazy as my heads genuinly argueing with it's self is that normal!

Uppoint of the day under a month ago my world had ended and life was smashed to pieces.

Today I'm picking my daughter up and taking her trainer shopping to me that's as good as I could hope to be.

She hasn't and will never go with out because of gamberling there's nothing I love more in this world BUT I would have spent my money and then had to borrow more to go get her what she needs.

All in all a positive day so far

If the lads and lasses are reading this that don't know where to turn that feel like ending your life will be a lot easier then confronting your problems. Iv been there and although I'm by no means am I a guru at this this site has worked for me there's some one on here some where that's been a lot worse then you are and gone and still going months and years with out gamberling.

Give it a shot when it boils down to it what have you actually left too loose?

Hi Blown

I started reading some diaries yesterday and I read yours all the way through from the beginning. I don't know if you've been back though and read what you've put but I think the way you are turning this thing round is brill!

Anyway you inspired me to do my own diary so i'm going to make a start on that tonight.

Almost a full month gamble free Blown 🙂

How far you've come after those first couple days sitting in car park 🙂

You're doing brilliant....Keep it going....Keep posting & keep making us laugh in chat 🙂

Hope you've had a lovely day with your daughter....Take care.

Mari x

Canute a diary on here is the best thing I did, iv my own little family of people helping me get through it!

And of course silly I won't be going any where if I get a urge I come on here and I can't see the urges ever truelly stopping. I haven't read a diary yet where there urges have stopped! Just need to sort this sleep thing out got to sleep at 5.30an back out at 8am so feel rough as hell

Hey. ..your doing well
As for the urges...they ..well at least for me ...became less and less...and then it's wasn't urges as such....more like fleeting thoughts..which I was able to say...oh...I don't play online slots anymore....now...well thank goodness If a thought or a memory...advert...or something like that crops up...I can smile to myself and say...that's in my past..not interested...my very first post on here I wrote please let my strength continue...I still remind my addiction of the strength I've now built against it...and will continue to to do all I can to keep it in my past...
So basically ...all that waffle equates to....it does get better...in time ...
Keep doing what your doing..good luck x

Thank you Loxxie so there is light at end of tunnel!

Yesterday was a horrible day. Everything went wrong it was like everything iv tried to do had been crushed.

At one point I sat in motor and thought **** this im off to bookies.. you know when your gonna rebel not realiseing the only person your actually going to rebel against is your self! Started van looked over on passager seat and I had a fiver (alls I take out with me now) and enough to make me remember why I don't go bookies!!

Finished my horrible day went home sat on sofa feeling shattered, tried going to sleep in the end went to sleep at 4am and woke back up at 6 going to try get a doctors appointment today

Hiya Blown, another day gamble free though, even if it was a horrible one! Hope you manage to see the doctor, maybe he can help x

Hope the Doctor helped Blown. Keep at it matey, you will get there. You have come so far....

iHello new to this today.

Gained a blackjack addiction and looking to stop before I lose a lot of money, I live at home and currently not in financial trouble although after a big loss today I want to put a lid on things. Online is my real problem. I feel like I'm not spending money and it's all too easy. Never been too bad in the bookies because handing over massives amount of cash is something which would make me sick and I couldn't see myself ever doing that( I hope)

Hope this message is welcome. Thanks

Welcome Sam

Maybe you could think about starting a diary?
The way I see it if every time I put something in the diary it's time spent thinking about NOT gambling which can only be a good thing.

Hello , I'm certainly open to that idea. My real issue can be I have a lot of time on my hands. I'm a postman so finish early (which also means I work alone so easy to just get my phone out) Looking to go day by day and see how I get on

Howdy friend..

Lovely to chat to you tonight, and look at you offering to give away a kidney to a strange Irish girls brother.....f*****g mad like, but I like it all the same..As my Mam would say, "he would give you the last bit of bread out of his mouth". I hope all is well Del Boy and that you have been wheeling and dealing (GF of course) all week. Do you have your daughter this weekend, she must know she has a cracking Dad that adores her like... Anyways I get it about giving in, but sure there is no point in giving in Blown, sure we have it sorted me and thee...get up everyday and not gamble, and go to bed every night and know we haven't...Did you get to the GP's about your sleep?

Hope all is well in your world Dell Boy, and chat ya soon.....

Julie x