Our Struggles Make Us Stronger

Well done Warren... it sounds like your head is getting screwed back into place. It's good that, even though you have chosen not to post daily, you are letting people know how you are doing... because we are genuinely sad when we see or think someone has dropped off the radar..

Stay Strong and Focused, towards a happier future.

Jon

Hi Jonb, I understand what you mean as usually when people stop posting it means they're back gambling but I'm happy to say that's not the case with me! I still log on here almost everyday and read other peoples posts which I find very helpful.

Thanks for your support and I hope things are going well for you also!

Hi everybody!

Just a small update. Things are still going great, I've got a holiday coming up soon and the debts keep falling.

It's amazing to think that I logged on here for the 1st time 5 months ago although it seems longer for some reason! I can only imagine where I would be now if I didn't have the help, support and advice that this forum provides. Even though I don't post that often I still read a lot of entries from others and draw strength from them.

It's been a month since my last post and I'm happy report I'm still gambling free. The new football season started on Saturday and I can honestly say I wasn't even tempted into a bet, didn't even look at a football coupon! After we played our match I watched a few of the lads in the pub checking their betting slips, cheering some teams on and cursing others. I don't miss it one bit as I'd rather spend the money on enjoying life.

My hols are coming up soon and I can't wait! I've got all my spending money saved up and everything, holidays in previous years I'd have to get a loan or something. Still need to buy a few bits & pieces like clothes etc but I hate shopping lol!

I don't know how long all this will last as I've been off gambling for long periods in the past but this time feels different (cliche, I know). I have too many responsibilities and too much to lose by going back to that horrible way of life.

Hope all is well with everyone, keep fighting the good fight!

Hi Warren,

wonderful post! Keep on truckin! -joan

So it's been a year and 9 months from my last post and I felt the need to post here again. During this time I have to admit I have been gambling as little as 1 and as much as 1500 on a single bet. In the past 5 months I have pulled myself out of a couple of holes with big bets then promise never to let it get that far again only for a few weeks later to do the exact same thing.

I recently went off gambling for Lent (4 and half weeks) and stuck to it no problem but as soon as it finished I was betting again. The first few days I made about 150 profit and thought this was easy. ‘Sure I can just make 10 a day and that would be enough’ I thought. I started planning what I would do with the extra money and the dreams started to flow. How stupid this sounds, I know! It wasn’t long before stonewall certs were getting beaten and I was cursing my luck again. As it stands today I am down about 160 from after Lent which I realise isn’t too bad considering my previous exploits. Still, it’s 160 I’d rather have in my bank account than not!

I felt I had to post on here before it all spiralled out of control again. It seems to be an endless cycle with me - don’t gamble for a while > place a small bet > start to win a few quid > gradually up my stakes > start chasing my losses > do a massive bet to recover losses > stop gambling for a while - then repeat. We’ll see what tomorrow brings but I realise a permanent change is needed.

I had a long post typed out there but closed down my browser before posting! The jist of it is I know my main trigger for gambling now. It's when I need to pay for something like a holiday or home improvements etc I start rationalizing doing a few bets to cover the cost with my winnings. We all know in the long run it never works out like that.

I'm in the process of getting a new bathroom in and found out last night it will cost about 400 more than I had anticipated. Although I have the money it is a bit of a set back as I had planned to use it for other things but what can ya do!? If this had have been last week I would have thought 'I'll just win the 400 sure and it won't matter' then probably end up losing double that lol! I'm fighting the urges to gamble today alright.

Hi warren thank you for posting on my diary

I fully understand about how all this affects kids. My parents split eventually when I was 12 and it was a massive relief when they did

I promised myself that when I grew up and had a family of my own that they would never go thro what i did. That they'd have mum and dad together for ever

And when I married my husband it was for keeps. I'm ashamed that my marriage failed I'm ashamed that I couldn't 'fix' my husband and give my children the life that I imagined for them

It was their decision this time that their dad had to go. They'd totally had enough and are exhausted with him as am I.

Me and my children are now moving on slowly on our own. We have many uncertainties ahead of us but we are certain that gambling and lies are no longer part of our future

Good luck with your road to recovery

Shelly

Hi Shelly, just seeing your post now as I haven't logged on in a few days.

You have no need to be ashamed your marriage failed, many do and in a lot of cases it's for the best in the long run. It sounds like youhave an idea what you want for your kids and yourself in the future which is important.

Take care

Still no gambling and long may it continue. I did have a thought today though that if I could just make an extra few quid everyday it would make life so much better/easier. Then the gambling urge crept in but I know how silly that would be as in the long run I'd lose instead of gaining money.

I've been very busy this year with weddings, birthday parties, holidays, home improvements etc and the next month will be the busiest yet. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining as it's great to have so many things to do but obviously it has a financial impact as well as the planning and organisation that goes into such things.

I have found myself looking forward to when it's all over and I can sit back and relax. Then I realised yesterday in work whilst writing the date, '20th May 2014, I can't believe May is almost over already!' I have been wishing my life away for too long and not appreciating how valuable my time is.

Money will come and go but memories last forever. I’m not going to worry about money anymore although I know I still need to be careful. What I have lost in the past is gone and I can’t control that but I can control my future. Instead, I’m going to concentrate on living for the moment, smiling more and creating new memories. I’m not going to be dragged down by other peoples pessimism and dour outlook on everyday life anymore. As far as I know you only get one life on this earth and I intend not to waste mine.

Carpe diem

So work on my bathroom started today which is good but after a mistake by myself it's going to take a bit longer to complete than it should have. I told the plumber the wrong type of shower I was getting so it all had to be changed when the mistake was recognised.

So annoyed with myself and my head is busting today. Back to work tomorrow so that'll take my mind off it for a bit and hopefully there will be no more issues with the bathroom!

I can honestly say gambling is the last thing on my mind at the minute but I needed somewhere to vent my frustration.

So my bathroom is basically finished and looks the part (this is becoming more of an everyday diary as opposed to a gambling diary!). Only problem is I decided in my wisdom NOT to get a power shower installed and instead when for a thermostatic gravity shower (against my plumber's advice). As my water pressure isn't great the amount of water coming from my shower isn't enough so I'm currently in the process of getting a pump to be installed.

The extra cost involved is annoying me but if it works I'll not be too bothered. If this had have happened a couple months ago I would have no doubt 'decided' just to win about 100-150 to cover the cost. We all know how that would have turned out though! Fingers and toes crossed hoping this pump idea does the trick 🙂

It's been almost 2 years from my last post and I wish I could say things got better.

In those 2 years I got engaged, became a father to a beautiful little boy (these were the good things) and broke up with my fiance 6 months ago. Since the breakup my gambling has got out of control but ill get to that in a bit

The breakup of our relationship was partly down to the debt I had accrued although she didn't have any idea how much I was gambling. When it happened I got so depressed about everything. I quit gambling for about a month but went back because I needed to take my mind off things. I love my son so much and not to see him when I get home from work and put him to bed at night was so difficult (I do have regular access though).

As it stands the debt I have is about 15k. It will take me about 5 years to clear if I just stop right now but I can't help the feeling that one big win and I'm free. I don't think my ex would be interested in reconciling whilst I still have the debt.

My head is all over the place at the minute. I just want my son to be able to look at his daddy and be proud