Out of the shadows

Deeeeaaannnnoooo.

Pull up those big boy pants and get back on it again.

Bavalar x

Hello Mate, Look if things like Chat make you angry then just leave it alone , Its like we always say take the stuff thats of use and leave the rest , besides me being knackered all the time thats why I keep coming and going a bit , I get pee'd off with certain people and things and walk away for a few days and it does me the world of good , have a break if you need one mate but if not then just focus on you for a while , sometimes we have to be a little selfish in recovery too ?

It could always be worse mate , you could be troubled by stunningly good looks or a ripped body like myself , It's no picknick at times mate I can tell ya :(( .

Stay safe buddy xx

Dean

Fella a much wiser fella than I once said that often the best lessons in recovery from this all consuming addiction comes in formswe ddon't like to hear, for me chat didn't work because I simply couldn't keep up with the pace of typing, lol I was three conversations behind everyone else! For me therapy away from writing comes in the old fashioned form of talking in 3d, the GA room provided that platform for a time, today it comes from talking with those closest to my life, my wife, kids,mum and the friends I am honoured to have through recovery.

Anger is something that I have had to deal with in abundance, I was so mixed up, I was for a great length of time angry with the world, I isolated myself because of it, the outcome was to seek escape.

Today I believe that my anger was often misplaced, because it was myself, my own choices that made the anger rise, the outcome was often the same, a feeling of chasing my own tail around and around.

I believe that recovery offers a greater ability to make educated choices, equally I accept that recovery is bespoke, tailor it to suit your needs, ultimately it's about the outcome

Abstinence.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Chin up deano buddy.

You are always one of the first to welcome or offer advice and support to others but I agree with Alan, you have to be a bit selfish and think about yourself. If for whatever reason chat is doing your nut in take a step back and focus on you.

Hope your feeling better soon man!

RA

Gangsta

Generally I'm a happy go lucky kind of person but At the moment I seem to be really angry. Not in the sense that I'm physical with anyone. More I'm verbally abusive. At work the word's come out of my mouth before they register in my brain
I always instantly feel remorse straight after. I had similar experiences when quitting smoking.
I read that anger can be part of fear. Which triggers fight or flight
So I wanted to ask has anyone had a similar experience. And if they found some relaxation techniques like yoga, or meditation worked for them?

Deano,

Many thanks for your kind words on FB earlier.

Your anger probably stems from the route your journey is taken. You are moving outside of your comfort zone and it scares you and if we become scared we can become angry.

I am sure through time your anger will subside and as some of the posters above say sometimes you need to let things go.

You cant look after everyone else and the forum and chat can be difficult at times but please remember "look after Deano" x

Thanks for the post bavalarrrrrrrrr
I meant every word x

Last night I decided to try a few self help video's on YouTube
It was hard to switch off at first
I awoke at 4am some seven hours later to the sound of waves crashing on the beach I'm not sure how many I must of got through but I felt good. So maybe it's something I can implement a couple of nights a week when I feel stressed.

28 day's bet free today. And 28 day's carrying no cash. Although I was given 500 of my money to go and get my wife's birthday presents on Wednesday night.
I took the kids along just incase.
It's not I don't trust myself it's that one moment of madness that puts you back at day dot.

I'm still checking in with my old man each week. And he sends me a different motivational speech each week about my life. Which I read when I feel a bit low. It does make me feel good when he writes nice things and there about me. Most of the things I had long forgotten. Maybe clouded over when Mr G took over.
Today we are carrying on the birthday celebrations with a family get together and lunch
I won't be beaten today! And it doesn't look good for Mr g tommrow either.

Thanks Deano...I never got free tea (my damage was mostly done online) but I did get a free t-shirt in Vegas once which cost me close to a grand!! I've never blamed the industry...I've always seen it for what it is...I think I'm meaning more blaming other people, life's circumstances, my moods, the other half. That kind of thinking. But the reality is that it's me and always has been. Life's been tough at times for sure and I've been dealt a fair few blows but it's my responsibility as to how I deal with them. Same for the people in my life and my emotional responses. I can learn different ways to handle things (it might take some time, lol).

I was really moved when I read about your Dads motivational words to you. What a lovely thing for him to do...I was genuinely touched by that. It's often hard for men to share how they're feeling...maybe a bit of a generalisation, but you know what I mean. And I'm glad you're able to accept it and take it all on board. Sounds like he loves you deeply.

As for relaxation...have u tried the headspace app? It's free to trial and it's quick (5 or 10 minutes a day). It's pretty good for relaxation plus it's always a bit dodgy listen to waves when you're deeply asleep as there's the danger that you'll really think your in the sea and let your bladder relax (doesn't everyone widdle in the sea!!). Mrs. Deano might not be very impressed! Talking if which...did u get her a lovely present? If not, I'm thinking 500 quid would buy you a night or two away somewhere lovely. Might be good to make some happy memories?

LB x

Hey Deano,

Thanks for the pep talk. Had a read at the post you pointed me towards and it makes a lot of sense.
My past is haunting me at the moment and I am struggling at finding a way to deal with it....just wish I knew a way of getting the bad thoughts out of my head so I could move on.
I'm sure it will come with time....I cant expect 20 years of gambling to be forgotten about in 8 months.
Hope you are well.
Damo

Insanity?!? Are you nuts :-0 May as well start with an Iron Man Deano 😉

Good habits are hard to form but easy to live with
Bad habits are easy to form but hard to live with

Motivation Monday enjoy
https://youtu.be/ZfPiARzaLqw

http://youtu.be/GWPkfpk9W9M

Motivational Monday. ... let's roar

Thanks for the heads up about Alan. I knew that he had a bit of a smell, but I always thought it was from the fish. Makes sense now!!

Insanity? Are u mad?!! Good luck with that. Let us know how you get on (if you've still got the strength to post). And well done on the presents...got lucky 3 times? I thinks that's more information than we need thanks 😉

OY !! Just coz I;m not on here as much these day's doesn't mean I can't hear you talking about my odour you know and remember I have feelings too !! :(( .

" Got lucky 3 times " ? Yeah right ! That's you falling asleep with your bloody Sperm Whale music playing in the background , I've told you about wrist injuries before and how you need to swap hands occasionally :))

And in reply to " Has anyone tried yoga " , Thank's mate, really with my hips ? how insensitive but thinking back I do remember something to do with a Downward facing Dog , that is yoga right ? .

Smile Deano and the whole world smiles back :)) xx