Quitters win

Thanks guys. We knew it had been coming but its a tough call to make still.

Day 142

Had today off. Auntie came over to see us so spent the day with her, got some food out and had a look round the shops. Im not a shopper, never have been. Don't feel like i ever will be to be honest, but who knows? The only time i buy something is when i know i need it. Events, nights out, holiday etc. Was a nice day out and good to see her. Don't get much chance to see her since we moved away a couple of years ago.

2 days left at work then TWO WEEKS OFF, boom. So needed but i probably won't know what to do with myself. Really need to get my diet back in check! I was actually very good (obsessive if im honest) with food and weight trained for 2 years 5 days a week before i stopped gambling. This will be my chance to get back into a more healthy routine. I won't be going 5 days a week or being so obsessive with it but want to add it back in again.

Best of all today, i did not gamble.

Well done on remaining gambling free. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your favourite doggy. We have two and cannot bear the though of losing any of them. With that being said I do have my favourite one as bad as it sounds. She’ll be 3 in May and I got her when she was just 8 weeks old. It was at a time my gambling addiction was picking up and I though she would provide me with the comfort and distraction I need to stop. She is my shadow now and often I would use my lunch break to go home just so I can cuddle her for a bit. Right now, she is pushing her body at me making it really hard to type. 🙂 Love her to bits.

How is the job hunt going?

Thanks NNF, good to see you remaining GF too. Yes, i know what you mean. Its not that you don't love the others just the bond is stronger with that one. Im defo a dog person. Nothing is ever as excited to see you as a dog =)

Today was my last day at work, now on annual leave and have 15 days off. Nice way to start the weekend (albeit a day later than most). Have been applying the last couple of weeks but a lot of them have closing dates of 2-4 weeks. At least i'll be available all day for the next couple of weeks if something does come up.

Hi sjw thanks for your posts on my diary I’m starting to reply more on folks own diaries when I can find them lol. Well done in your days gf your doing amazing, only four days for me but each and every day is special to me because I’ve actually got a life again. I’ve read a bit of your diary so sorry to hear about loss of your dog I’ve lost two and each is as heartbreaking now got Jazzy my profile picture she’s in bed with me now curled up next to me under the covers lol, thanks again sjw all the best

Hello Lulu,

Good to see you around other peoples diaries.

You are right, EVERY day GF matters. Each one is as important as any other. Keep at it. Get yourself a new time filler to take gamblings place. We always feel like we are busy but we found time to gamble (many hours a week for myself). You will need something else to do to keep you occupied. Can't help but notice your pic of your dog, so sweet. We had chiwawa that was them colours.

Keep at it Lulu, all the best =)

Day 150

Another payday arrives. All bills paid before i got out of bed this morning. I've had all this week off work. Been resting up for most of it. Not had any funds as again i had maxed out to the penny paying down my debt (well i had 22p in my bank until i got paid at midnight). I have all next week off work too =)

Yesterday i had a 6 hour round trip drive, had a look around a different city. Was a nice day out and i do actually enjoy the driving part too!

I had pervious said in my dairy i was leaving myself some money to do something in the month should i want to. I had under calculated my outgoings and for the last 5 months GF only Chirstmas did i really allow myself any money out of my wages other than for bills and debts (and that was just to buy gifts for others).

This month i have paid less off my debt and i will withdrawl the difference in cash for myself. I will let this build up slightly over the months should i not spend it all to give me a little bit of a cash buffer and take any stress about not having ANY buffer for unexpected bills as was previously the case. If i want to do something from now on then i know i have the option to without worrying if i can afford it or not. It's time to start trying to live around paying my debt off.

Still have the odd gambling thoughts but thats all they are. Im enjoying the calm of being GF and i won't be funding the gambling sector anymore.

Congratulations sjwsjw. 150 days since you last gambled for money. You have integrity, ambition and are working hard to achieve your goals.

Life is in itself a gamble and is full of possibilities. Embracing opportunities might involve taking risks but that is all part of the adventure. It is good and all part of life's rich tapestry.

Compare that to compulsive gambling and the sad unfortunates who feed their money and lose their soul to greedy bookmakers.

One piece of advice I would offer is to be on your guard. You have reached a milestone and the addiction will be gunning for you.

I once buckled on day 151and it was hard for me to come to terms with.

Take care my friend and keep going forward...stephen

150 days mate, fantastic and you so deserve to keep some money for yourself, go spend some on something nice or do something enjoyable! I am the same I rarely treat myself but get my f**s, crisps and sweeties, having a take-away once a week, that will do me for starters.

Have a great weekend

Wilsy

Thanks Stephen, you are right. I know many good people have got to and far beyond the point im at and have been pulled back into it. I have to remember to stay away each and everyday.

To me personally i am actively not gambling in any way, shape or form. No grey areas or blurred lines. I have to stay away from it all, to really cut the hold my addiction had over me. The first few weeks i was scared of the idea of not gambling but i know i don't need it the way i thought i did. That doesn't mean im not in danger of every betting again but that is my hope/aim. I can only worry about today.

Thanks for your support Wilsy. Its people like you that offer so much time and advice to people that make this forum such a good place for everyone here. Many have shown me im not alone in this and have given me the strength to continue in my battle to this point. We all have our owns struggles in life as well as this addiction but it goes to show we are still good people that have just been caught out by a complex addiction.

All the best to everyone =)

Day 151

Starting to spend a little of that money already! Went out for a couple of games of ten pin bowling today. Paid £2.75 for a bottle of drink, pft (i'll always have that thrifty mindset i think!). Bowled then went into the arcarde area...No machines for me, though i did win a couple of hundred tokens on the puzzle games and basketball. Gave them away to a little girl that was there, had enough tokens for a couple of lollies or some kind of goo toy(?), didn't really appeal to me =D

Nice to get out. Will be looking to a bit more of that next week seems im still off work then too =) the weather forcast doesn't look great though. Might re-tip my pool cues and take a wander around, check out my locals.

No gambling today. Have a good one all.

Day 152

One thing i kind of totally glossed over yesterday that i want to add as a reminder and pointer to myself for the future. Everything in the arcade area at the bowling alley was £1 a play. I needed more pound coins to play the big lights out game so, i went over to the change machine to change up a fiver. It gave me 4x£1 coins + 10x10p pieces. I thought, great now i have a pocket full of unwanted 10p's! Funnily enough, along with the fruit machines they also had the "penny pushers" with 10p's.

Now, its small time but i could so easily have gambled that £1 in 10p's in any of them machines but i made a point. £1 is still £1 more then i want to gamble and i know how easily a few pound can follow and it all comes back.

I walked away with them 10p's and i was proud to have made that choice. I had a good time and i left it at that.

For me, a steady weekend, no gambling. Tomorrow i aim to do the same again.

Hi mate, thanks for the post on my Diary ..... well done on 152 days gamble free great going, good to see you going bowling doing "normal things", things we would never do when we were gambling ... get those pool cues re-tipped and shoot some racks, a good way to keep busy on your week off, i enjoy playing pool myself great way to spend a few hours ...... all the best.

Thanks, yea. Recovery to me now is just as much me doing normal things again as it is not gambling. I need to build and look to improve the areas of my life that i am not happy with. I have to make the effort to do that for myself.

Hope you have a good week mate, i'll cya around =)

Hello sjwsjw. Thank you for posting on my diary, brilliant song which you recommended.

Don't Worry Be Happy by George Ezra

"In every life we have some trouble but when you worry you make it double - Don't worry be happy."

Hi sj Adam here just wanted to say well done on the 150 days ur doing super. That debt is coming down nicely but make sure as u have recently that u leave some money for u to socialise that's very important. I recently heard about a secret, its called the secret to life, u picture what you want whether it be a material thing or whatever, u draw a picture or take a photo of it and put it on ud wall to look at every morning and evening, then you picture itself with it once a day, then as u have pictures yourself with it you will make the right moves towards it. You have to write a time date you want to achieve it by on the picture. If you believe you will have. Ive done if recently for some small material things and it worked just got to build up to a big thing. I thought id like a secure job, to be healthy and to not gamble as my non material things and they are all coming true soo far but u cant put a time frame on those. Just a thought, thought u might like to think about ur goals, a new job might be a good one for u if ur already still looking but in a field you would like.,

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