So day 83 gf, and I’m holding firm. Although I occasionally get a longing for that rush (did just now reading some of the posts on this forum bizarrely) I seem to be developing some assemblance of will power.
financially I am in a good place, and aside from a single bank account (with gambling blocks in place that my wife tops up for petrol etc and gets shown the balance of weekly) my finances are safely out of my hands.
One thing I have noticed recently is that when I am not gambling, the highs and lows of real life feel much more involved. We have had some very difficult days as a family recently, most notably a bereavement, and I am astounded by how much more positive I have been for my wife and son, if I was still gambling I wouldn’t have been anywhere near as solid as I have been in recent days.
Gambling seemed to dull my senses, when thinking about the next bet / spin / hand, real life seems secondary and passed me by somewhat, however now I am feeling the highs of day to day life more and more.
of course along side that, the low points of life are much lower, but my head is concentrating on what’s important and not dwelling on a missed bonus round or turn of a card.
Trying to keep myself as busy as possible when urges do rear they’re ugly head, am training for a half marathon later in the year and being out on my own with some nice music and a goal really helps to put life in perspective and see every day for what it is.
looking forward to celebrating 100 days gf in the most Mundane way possible, and learn from every minute. As my mother used to say when I was growing up, every day is a school day and that has never been more true than it is today.
Sending positive thoughts and wishes to everyone on their journey back from this addiction, whatever stage your at ?
So day 83 gf, and I’m holding firm. Although I occasionally get a longing for that rush (did just now reading some of the posts on this forum bizarrely) I seem to be developing some assemblance of will power.
financially I am in a good place, and aside from a single bank account (with gambling blocks in place that my wife tops up for petrol etc and gets shown the balance of weekly) my finances are safely out of my hands.
One thing I have noticed recently is that when I am not gambling, the highs and lows of real life feel much more involved. We have had some very difficult days as a family recently, most notably a bereavement, and I am astounded by how much more positive I have been for my wife and son, if I was still gambling I wouldn’t have been anywhere near as solid as I have been in recent days.
Gambling seemed to dull my senses, when thinking about the next bet / spin / hand, real life seems secondary and passed me by somewhat, however now I am feeling the highs of day to day life more and more.
of course along side that, the low points of life are much lower, but my head is concentrating on what’s important and not dwelling on a missed bonus round or turn of a card.
Trying to keep myself as busy as possible when urges do rear they’re ugly head, am training for a half marathon later in the year and being out on my own with some nice music and a goal really helps to put life in perspective and see every day for what it is.
looking forward to celebrating 100 days gf in the most Mundane way possible, and learn from every minute. As my mother used to say when I was growing up, every day is a school day and that has never been more true than it is today.
Sending positive thoughts and wishes to everyone on their journey back from this addiction, whatever stage your at ?
Hi TTC 🙂
The urges will come and go my friend for a while to come but will fade over time until you dismiss them as easily as they arrived.
I totally agree with the senses being dulled as when I initially stopped my emotions were all over the place , being up one day down the next and everything in between , I suppose we've spent so many years being somewhere else other than in the moment with family and loved ones ,that actually waking up and experiencing real life again can be quite daunting and a little tough on the senses .
83 day's is a huge accomplishment and I look forward to welcoming you to the century club :)) .
Best wishes for now
Alan
Hi there - yes I can relate to all of the above, I am at around the same stage in terms of days in my recovery and know that real life is trying to get out of me. It is a work in progress to allow the emotional ups and downs into my life. It’s great that you were there for your family when they needed you most.
I totally understand this. I am 90 days gamble free but found myself watching gambling videos on YouTube, trying to emulate the rush. Very dodgy ground! I have Gamstop so I’m safe but sometimes I really miss the rush so much it hurts (sounds pathetic and it is but we are all honest here).
Like me you I have changed my life, o have cash (for the first time in years), goals and building a life I love but I do miss gambling. Not the bad days but the escapism, the thrill and the what if.
One foot in front of the other...we will get there!
Good luck pal.many are at a similar point in this, me too, I'm not sure why I still think of gambling, Gamstop has been a God send in truth, I've stopped doing the things I was doing in the early stage so I need to get back on track I panic when I'm spending , my defence mechanism wants me to win it back or win the amount I'm gonna spend.im in debt and impatient, that needs to stop.
I'm in a vulnerable place in the next few weeks.it will be my biggest test.
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