reborn on the 4th July

Sounds like a great weekend mate, glad you and your daughter had a great time.

Thanks for the post. It was a great day and i was the same, scared and nervous untill the speech was done - then party time lol. I hadnt really thought about it much but yeah buying drinks with my money rather trying to win the money to pay for them feels pretty great.

I cant believe ive done 500 posts, i think i almost got your 750 as payback, lol, almost. Posts and gamble free time keep rising and enjoying that time is what its all about. Glad you had a great weekend.

Hi Castle,

Ur last post made me smile soooo much 🙂

It sounds like u had a gr8 wknd, wot a thoughtful and caring daughter u have, I was really touched by ur last post. I can tell how proud u r of her and I know she is equally as proud of her Daddy 4 staying strong and determined 🙂

Have a gr8 nite 🙂

Thanks for the post on my diary castle. Keep up the great work and make sure you keep enjoying yourself and your family 🙂

Not sure how long since my last relapse must be 3 weeks to a month , I don't honestly count , what I do know its now a year since I admitted my problem and sought help lookin back it was a decision I knew I had to make I don't think I had hit rock bottom but was headin there , living with my brother in law , all my dignity took away from me tryin to provide for my daughter , paying half a mortgage into a house that I knew I would get nothin from , gamblin everyday to hide from it all and was tryin to pay 2 loans off totallin 20 grand not all gamblin related but a good chunk of it was

With the help of a debt management plan and some strength and determinatio I slowly started to turn my life around , I tried to go it alone and was fine for 3 months then the 1st relapse came , after that I used this site and went from strength to strength , divorce proceedings started with plenty of stress to go with it , still paying half the mortgage so financially strugglin all the time as with flat and all the bills to go with it , another relapse came with all the stress not as long and not as much as Ulf last one and stayed close to this site through it all

Whilst still goin through an on off relationship which I know is no good for me and my recovery , but the corner is turnin my divorce will be through 6 weeks today , a new year comin up and a massive decision to make in my relationship in my head I know what I want , there's two outcomes and I'm prepared for them both whatever happens I am movin on with that part of my life

To look at the big picture my life is so much better than it was a year ago and its goin to be so much better in another year

Still though for now one day at a time

Castle

Great to read another gamcarers glass is half full, you my friend I feel learnt a huge amount about yourself this past year and through writing your diary with honesty, I know others, myself included will learn with you.

I hope a huge part of that is the realisation that you are not alone in your quest to live a better life, a gamble free one.

I hope you are proud of your achievement so far, you should be.

Here's to next year, one day at a time, a toast to a better life .

Well done, keep making that choice

Duncs stepping forward never back

Another positive post Castle, really focused and in control, very strong. As I've said before you've been through so much upheaval and stress in recent times it must have been awful. Anyone can have a million in the bank or be a million in debt and get knocked over and killed the next day, money therefore doesn't really matter. What you do have is a roof over your head, food in your belly, hopefully a boiler which works and best of all a lovely daughter. Most people on this planet would give their right arm for that. You've definitely reached the other side and from now on it'll just get better and better.

Christmas! I can feel it in my bones and its great. Giving up gambling hasn't made me rich but it's given me a sense of the value of money, I too for the first time won't be trying to gamble my way to top of the tree presents. The best present I can give others is to remain as I am, gamble free.

Let you know how good the film was, yet to me after a bag of Haribo everything looks good.

Steve

Hi Castle,

We all have stress and adversity in our lives taking a pause to "look at the big picture... " That really resonated with me this morning. Castle, I'm inspired by your strength and determination. Keep on going -- you are doing grrreat! -joanxx

Hi Castle, film was good, Maisie enjoyed it. Personally I'd give it 7/10, the junk food was nice though, still sugared up now.

hi castle...

chuckling at the armless Dorothy vision..lol

I can identify a lot with your post and like wise I shall be off to live with my sis in law for few months whilst i get my finances straight...

On the relationship front it seems you are not ready to make a big change just now on top of all the change thats happened this year...thats ok....

Sometimes it doesnt have to be the big chop and can be a phase out if your thinking of going solo.

The great thing is you are identfying whats good and not good for you...and I can also relate to that aswell..

Next year new doors will open and maybe soon we can all look back at this period of our life as a big painful turning point but necessary for us to be our real selves.

R and D xx

Yo,

Ah I remember when you were so searching for the light at the end of the tunnel.

How happy it makes me to think that it is more than just a little beam ,and that you may need to start wearing sunglasses

I know that you see 2013 as your year but recon the last couple of months of this still hold some promise .

Shiny xxxxx

Hi Castle,

So glad that things are starting to turn round for you. Loved that post about your daughter.. you really are starting to appreciate the important things in life now that you have kicked the gambling into touch and I can tell that your daughter is as proud of her dad as you are of her 🙂

Keep going Castle, you're doing great!

Lmm

A great post castle. A year ago now. And wow how you've change and made some very positive decisions to take charge of your life once again. Next few weeks and months will be big for you and I'm sure your life will improve even more for it. It's great to hear that your doing so well and things are improving for you and I love seeing a post when you've had a great day with your daughter. It's great to see mate, turning your life around and moving forward to the future.

2013 is going to be a great year for you.

Just keep abstaining from this evil, mad world called gambling and life will really be on the up!

NT

Goin through that not feeling inspirational day today , just posted on bout 5 diaries but only a few words to say , I know by now not to worry as this happens from time to time and will pass

Had a good day off work today feel well rested , work seems to be gettin a little less stressful touch wood and runnin surprisingly well

See what tomorrow brings

Hiya Castle,

I jumped into your diary today as have a bit more time this evening, heh... We all go through those patches you know. Feel a bit down etc, I did the last few day's lots of work and loads going on, what I think we forget is when we used to gamble all the time those feelings were never there? They just did not exist because our minds were so far focused on that fantasy of nothing. Why? because we just did it... No reason

Well, now we hold our head up high through bad day's and good days, we get the real feelings of life back now. Thats reality and I kinda like it, I am sure you do too but it would be better uf we never had them day's.

I just want to say Hi and respect you for all you work on this forum.

Have a good evening and great weekend.

JP