hello, not sure if this goes straight to the forum or not, but here i go. Finally decided to tackle this gambling habit of mine, after years of denial and thousands of pounds wasted. I 'm a 30 year old male, probably been gambling for the last 13 years..
Similar sort of stories to those i have reas on forum, started of with football coupons...a few quid here and there when i was in my teens, nothing too major. As i got older and got into beter paid jobs, my salary increased but so did my stakes. It all dawned on me last week whil in the bookies, payday......access to money and straight to bookies to play roulette. feeding note after note..oblivious to time or who is around you, dazed and fixated on this spinning ball. well after putting a few hundred in, dont know exactly how much..you just get in the zone dont you??...a few good numbers hit and i'm suddenly up to 1000. bingo!! print reciept and get out...or so i thought. With the money I collected in my pocket, i stopped at the other machine to put in a 'spare' 20. Fast forward 1 hour....1000 gone, and 2 bank runs for another 200 hundred. all gone. I walked out feeling drunk...drained. Did i just do that? 4 missed calls from my gf..time to make an excuse, because as a compsulsive gambler, you become a compulsive liar..'bumped into a few mates, be home soon' How do i get out this one? Panic, confusion...nope..no bullsheet this time...time to come clean. i vowed that day never to step into a bookmakers again. that was 5 days ago..and with help, i will stick to it! One day at a time...i hope to deal with this demon..ive now taken steps not to have access to my money for a time. God give me the strength to beat this.....
Well done bman - it won't have been easy to tell your girlfriend about where you were or what you had done, and I really hope that she's going to support you in all of this.
Our stories are fairly similar mate, the only difference is that this is day 1 of no gambling for me... you're already on your 5th day, good on you!!
You should read a few of the diaries about - a lot of people here have very similar problems from the past, and by posting here it gives a grounding, somewhere where we won't be judged, or frowned upon if we stumble.
There's also links at the side that your girlfriend may find useful - Support a problem gambler.
Here's hoping you stick to your guns mate, let everyone know how you go.
thanks ste-ven
I have found this site, so its a start. i'll be on to update my diary to keep me strong.
It is a start, and we must be patient in our pursuit of kicking the demon within. I know that i'm not looking forward to payday, as I know I will be at my most vulnerable.
I'm going to post on my diary every day for the next month, even if it's just to say hello and that i haven't had a bet, i encourage you to do the same.
Good luck mate.
hey, just thought i'd update my diary. A week in, and still off a bet. had a urge today with football being played, but stayed strong. i know that everyday is going to be tough. It helped being at work all weekend to take my mind off it. Its the boredom come the end of the week, when i have a few days off that i'm worried about. Anyway..the posts give my the strength to stick with it, knowing i;m not the only one going through it. stay strong people.
Hi bman
Welcome to this supportive site ur opening post mirrors many on here so take heart knowing ur not alone fighting this disease
Stay close to this diary it will help u so much esp when the urges come keep fighting them it will make u so much stronger moving forward and just take it one day at a time
And always remember we can never win because we can never stop , choose each day not to gamble and be proud when u don't
I wish u all the best
Castle2
So here i am...over 3 years after i first found this site, and i'm back here again. Where do I start?
3 years on and I'm still gambling. After an initial break of about 3 weeks, i was back hitting it harder that ever. I guess I never really wanted to stop. Still surrounded myself with temptations, days at racing, casinos, bookies....i come back here, trully conceding that gambling has beaten me. Everytime I try to stop, I end up back with bigger stakes. I have racked up thousands in debt, my relationship is hanging by a thread, and most days i'm too down to motivate myself to do anything. I blew over 25 thousand in just over 3 months, shot my credit rating to pieces,and I dont know how to cope with this devil addiction.
sounds familiar, i figure recovery really does take a conscious effort day by day, you can never really take it for granted. removing all temptations is difficult, especially certain people if you're surrounded by you eventually get dragged back in. Maybe give yourself a focus on getting your relationship back on track, keep your mind off the gambling. The support will come in handy!
🙂
Please be assured that gambling hasnt beaten you! You still have the opportunity to take control. Initially you must remove the opportunity by taking awat at lesst 2 corners of the location, money, time triangle. Eventually it will then become easier not to gamble than to gamble and at that point you can allow yourself the luxury of having 2 points of the triangle at your disposal, I am a few months in and I now have days where I dont even think about gambling but ALWAYS ensure that if I have a mental slip then I dont have the time or money or location to gamble. This actually gives me confidence. It sounds harsh but dont ever think that gambling will beat you, and equally, dont ever think you have beaten it, all you can do is take control and remove the oppoertunity and then eventually you will be able to choose not to gamble. Just take one day at a time and treat every day as a new opportunity to move on gamble free. Good luck and keep up your diary.
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