Day 1
Around 7 years ago I went to Dixons and baught a laptop, I never thought walking out of the shop with instant internet access would change my life forever. I would sit up all hours hoping some team in Ukraine or South America would cover the asian handicap bet I had just placed and while that game was playing I would look for my next big fix. I don't remember how I got started or what my first bet was. I do believe I started playing poker first and gave that up quite quickly as I get bored.
Well thats all in the past now, it's 10.43am and I should be at work but I'm luckily enough to be self employed. I have great bridges to start walking over first before full normality is resummed. I'm having unreal urges to go and place a bet but I've just installed a blocker and it's working fine. I'd love to see what football is on right now, probably some u21's in europe somehwre and it's probably fixed. I have my eyes fixed on the keyboard, I can feel my blood rushing through my veins and a couple of deep breaths later I can feel myself calming down. In fact I'll be right back, I'm going to run a hot bath. I'm sure watching Seattle Sounders taking a penalty makes you sweat more than running up and down the staircase fetching a drink. Well I've self excluded myself from all online betting websites I was joined up to and now have a blocker setup. It works great as well. I can tell this forum works wonders as well, I can come and just talk away instead of chasing my next high. I'm actually writing this with a cheeky smile on my face, deep down knowing I'm on my way to happiness again.
So whats next, well my bath has gone cold but I've felt colder than that before. I love fishing, golfing, darts and why don't I go o yeah I'm skint. Thats the plan, so I can afford to go golfing again, chucking the fishing gear in my van and head off into the rising sun. I've got a dart board up so it will be darts first, drinking orange juice and chucking a few arrows. I've never been to the gym and I'm sure it's great but it's not for me. If I can go see Jim down the pub I have money in my pocket I'll be happy with that. I might be decent at darts as well.
Well i'm running out of things to say, I can say I feel better already and that bath is definitely cold now!! Ah well.
Day one over and out.
Day 2
Well I can honestly say these urges are the worst things I have possibly experienced. But I kept busy. I went and played my usual darts match Monday night. Yesterday I went to see my nan and grandad, I went golfing and after two years of being away from the sport, I loved every moment. Once I stopped something made me want to bet again so I took the dog to for a walk. I still have to open my mail. I'm finding it hard to open it and face up to what I have got to pay. I can't hide away from it I know that!!
The biggest problem right now is my urges. BUT I've being busy and I've being talking to close people in my life. I've being coming on here and reading lots of things.
I'm self employed and it's effected my work. I haven't been going. I have let a couple down but it's sorted and rang them. They did understand and lucky they are nice people. I have plenty of work coming up and have jobs to look at tonight.
I'm feeling so much better and I'm getting more sleep at night now.
Day 2 over and out x
Welcome to Gamcare Mark
Some seem to have an easier time stopping this habit / problem / addiction depending on how bad they get.
You could do worse than give gamcare a ring? Get some advice?
Your getting urges because you wont open the mail. Open the mail Mark call & make arrangements to pay of what you owe in a manner you can afford & the urges will go.
Welcome to recovery Mark 🙂
Don't be too hard on yourself that the urges are so strong...The addiction does not want to lose you after all this time! I didn't get out of bed for 3 days @ the start of my journey!
Keep that Time-Money-Location triangle broken so you can't gamble & busy yourself, as you are doing, when the urges come!
You are beating this - ODAAT
Hi all,
Thanks for the replies.. I got out of bed when I joined here and today I turned my mobile phone on. Paid my over due phone bill. It really is a case of crawling to walking before running. I have my mail stacked up and ready for when I get back from looking at my jobs. Pen and paper at the ready. I got a A5 note pad to make notes to make everything clear when I'm on the phone.
I'm starting work again on Monday and will be busy enough to keep going. I feel so much more motivated.
Thank you it's so much easier being on here thank you x
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