Road to Recovery Part 2

Today i am 31 days gamble free, this weekend has been tough and i could easily have been weak and had a bet. I have pretty much stayed in today apart from go to the gym. 2 Years ago today is when i came clean to my family and did 10 months gamble free, I am so dissapointed that it isn't my 2 years of being gamble free but this day next year i hope i will be nearing 400 days. 1 day at a time but everyone has to have a goal.

Yesterday was a great day, I have never seen so many happy people in 1 place celebrating the success of Leicester City, its estimated 240,000 showed up and lined the streets to celebrate.

Yesterday was a good day.

Onto Day 34 and things seems to be a bit easier which is scary, it might just be that i have so much going on in my head at the minute that it hasn't been a prominent thought. I know that every day is a battle and im not taking anything for granted. My aim was to go 2 pay days without a bet and the second one is approaching.

My life isnt great at the minute but for every day i complete gamble free it is that little bit better.

High Kt, just wanted to pop by and offer a bit of support , I think your doing great and it's a big achievement to get 34 days under your belt , just keep doing what works for you and take it one day at a time and you'll be fine .

Life is great without gambling and it keeps getting better !

Best wishes my friend ..........................Alan

Thanks Alan, my biggest battle at the minute is with my feelings, my head is all over the place with emotion. Im just glad that i haven't gave in and gambled as that would make everything worse.

I appreciate the support and i need a lot at the minute from friends to occupy my mind. Wishing you all the best as well Alan.

Hi Kt its great that you have a goal in mind and are taking one day at a time - by doing that you will get where you want to be. We all battle our emotions on this journey but the main thing is to do that in the right way and not let it lead us to gambling, breaking that habit can be hard but as we keep doing it it gets easier. Keep writing in your diary, take on the support and remember to keep moving forward not back. I think you are doing great and wish you all the best as you continue being gf!

Hi Kt , Look your head is going to be all over the place , dealing with your break up is hard enough but also keeping our addiction in check is making life doubley difficult , I know its easy for me to say but time is a healer and it's all still quite raw for you at the moment but life will get better and all those feelings will become easier to deal with , you haven't run back to gambling as a result of the way you feel so take that as a huge positive and something to be very proud of !!.

Stay safe my friend and look after yourself !

Best wishes..............................Alan

Yeh i dont think i have even had chance to think about gambling, i have been that upset, hurt and angry i cant really think about anything else. After pretty much 5 years its amazing what someone who supposidly cares about you can say and that isnt even regarding gambling. Now more than ever my friends seem to be around me for support and i dont want to let anyone down again.

Thank you both for your support. Another day gamble free and another day still wondering where my happiness has gone.

Hi Kt

We have to try to separate the hard things in life from our addiction. Relationship breakdown, loneliness, boredom, unhappiness these are triggers for our gambling selves! Keep strong, keep calm and remember gambling can just make us self loathing. It is hard when you separate but I'm guessing your young and you will move on in time even if it hurts now. You are doing really well with staying GF. Don't slip.

People can say some pretty nasty stuff when they get hurt , it's a bit of a defense mechanism but usually strays away from the original issue into a bit of a free for all in my experience Kt , you have to think about you now and making yourself better through recovery , if that relationship isn't strong enough to find a way through?, it's something that you have to accept and work through and as hard as that is right now for you to get your head around you need a future with gambling not in it .

Let your friends support you in anyway there able ( that's what friends do in times of need ) , use this place to vent your feelings and talk to likeminded folk who really do understand how your feeling , it's kept me clean for 9 months so it does work !.

Just take one day at a time Kt , those day's will become weeks and then months , the fog of all this will lift and so will your spirits , I promise !

Little steps , my friend , little steps !! 🙂

Look after yourself and I'll catch up soon Buddy !

Best wishes ............Alan

Thanks all for the support, some of the anger seems to be clearing but when i think of the lies it soon comes back. I havent posted for a few days but i have been trying to keep busy, going to the gym here and there and seeing friends, not even a thought about gambling.

Age wise, im nearly 30 and was looking to buy our 1st house with a joint deposit, now im back at home which seems a huge step back. Today I am 40 days gamble free and approaching pay day number 2. Plenty of my wages left although i have been out drinking a little more lately but i havent wasted any of it gambling.

Il keep fighting in both sense and trying to be better than i was yesterday.

Well i havent posted for over a week for no other reason than i have been busy and havent really had any updates. I havent had any urges recently and have been that pre occupied that i havent even thought about gambling or quitting gambling.Looking back over the past few weeks i dont know how i even had the time to gamble.

This a long journey that i am continuing to battle and hearing about the Derby brings back memories of gambling (not good ones as i have only ever had one derby winner) but today is day 50. While it has been a long journey from day 20-50 seemed to have raced by.

Another day gamble free and with determination, this forum and support there are many more to come.

I really dont know where the time has been going, I seem to have been so busy and occupied. Usually id be all over Royal Ascot but i havent watched a race or looked at a card. Its 2 weeks since i last posted and work has been very busy, i have been on a faw dates and i have booked a holiday to Goa for some Winter sun. Life seems to be improving but it also seems to be even busier which is good to take my mind off gambling.

Im not sure if it was a dream or if i was actually awake and thought about going to the bookies this morning, whatever it was the thought didnt last long. I went into town for a few hour today and not once did the thought cross my mind. I got myself a few little bits and all i thought was, 3 months ago id of wasted 10x that amount by being foolish. Im glad that for now those days are over.

Well time really seems to be flying by, trying to exercise and eat well in the week and then the weekend comes and it goes down hill. I have enjoyed watching the euros and it will be the first tournament in my adult life that I haven't had a bet on.

Hope all of you are doing well in your battle.