Rock bottom - time to change!

Hi Annienomore

Well done for having the courage to admit you have a problem and for finding this site. You will find plenty support from others here who have been through the same as you. The first step is the hardest but you must keep on walking. Life will get better. My nemesis was also online slots so I know exactly what you are going through.

My sister put a block on my computer and looks after my bank account. I gave my ipad to my grandson as we couldn't seem to put a block on it. This is certainly helping me in my fight against this addiction and I am now on day 63.

Read as many posts as you can, you will see you are not alone. Start a diary if it helps.

Remember you are stronger than you think.

We can do this.

Elfie

Sorry, I suggested starting a diary and have realised this was the start of your diary. I think it's time I went to bed, obviously not thinking straight.

Elfie

Thanks for your kind words elfie.

I wish I could tell my family, they would be so disappointed! In the morning I am going to self exclude from all my casinos. I don't have any money at the moment to gamble with so I have 5 days before payday to sort myself out.

Well done Annis for starting your journey of no more gambling. Im on day9 and it can be done. You'll get lots of support here. Stay strong, self exclude yrself , find something else to do, yesterday I was so busy I didnt even think if slots! xx

If I'm honest, I'm scared, I'm in so must debt, I can't even look at my finances, I owe so much money. But I know if I carry on it will only get worse, as if I do win big I just bet bigger and lose it all. So I am determined to kick the habit.

Just remember that you really must want to stop if u have come here in the first place. Have you got a wife/hubby that you can confide in about this - i have spoken about all my problems re gambling and i can honestly say that it was the best thing i have ever done. Yes ok its all good to post here but if you get an urge to gamble after abstain for a few weeks which you inevitably will then you can just speak to them about how you feel about it before you do anything stupid. Also if i would sit down and work out how you are going to pay it back and get a plan in place to do this.... Good luck!

Thank you for posting on my diary Annie. On line slots are my addiction and I have spent tens of thousands over the years. I have installed K9 onto my lappy which is free. I asked my hubby to set the password, but you could just use a random password and then shred it if you dont feel ready to confide in your family. K9 lets you block various types of sites, for example gambling,, shopping, over18 etc so it is really useful. I also spoke to gamcare live support and I have been offered counselling through them. For me personally I find it really hard to talk about my feeliings and so I think that talking to a 3rd party will help me. I wish you love and strength in your journey x

I'm not ready to confess all to my partner, he would be so disappointed in me as would my parents. I was hoping to use the support of this site to see me through. It is going to take at least 2 years to clear my debts. No quick fix unfortunately!

Sorry i didn't mean that to sound like that was the easy solution and you should definitely do it...i know that its not an easy option and took me a long time to build up the courage. I don't have any debts through gambling and since stopping my quality of life has improved beyond recognition. Able to go out and buy things without giving it another thought and you can be there too by stopping today..good luck!

I would find it easier to tell people if I did not have gambling debts. When I have got control of my life I will try and tell my partner, it may help me fight the long term problem. I guess my situation could be worse, and hopefully day by day it will improve.

So day 1 is almost over. I have kept myself busy, and have looked at lots of other people recovery diaries. Feeling ok but the long road ahead is a scary uncertain one. I still have those thoughts in my head, you could win big to get yourself out of debt, but I do have another voice that says but you would just gamble it all away again! I will keep fighting!

Well done on day 1 and coming here, its the first step to reclaiming your freedom!

do not listen to that voice! We have all had those thoughts..... Just one big win and its all sorted... NOT! it will get played away and the debts increase!

you can be a winner by beating this addiction x

keep posting and reading others diaries, it really helps!

good luck for day 2 x

Laura x

So day two is done, it was hard tonight, I sat done and worked out my finances, was worse than I thought. I guess I have to start somewhere! I did log into a gambling site, and I think if I did have any money in my bank account I would have made a deposit. But I did the right thing and self excluded.

Hi Annie

Well done on day two, the first few days and weeks can be the hardest but give yourself some time. It is indeed very scary looking at your financial situation and trying to deal with that but gambling got you to that point and it won't get you out of it.

There is a saying you will here a lot on this site,... I can't win because I can't stop.

Stay focused just on the moment, one day at a time that's all you have to do... Just for today don't torture yourself with gambling .

I wish you well in your recovery

Blondie x