SadG wants to be happyG

Day 20

Been reading other threads and drawing inspiration. Getting stronger all the time. Still in disbelief at the money I've lost this year. Keep thinking it must be around the 25-30K mark. Not even my money. It was bank loans that I'll now be paying off for next 4/5 years. Thats £700 a month i could have been saving for my family. Oh the guilt just hits me so hard some days. Gonna be shaking my head in disbelief for the next 5 years till I can be debt free. 5 years!!! I really got in deep.

In the run up to Xmas I can't help but think how different things would be this year if I'd seen the light a year earlier but in my experience the gambler needs to hit rock bottom to truly see the light. That's where my new strength has come from. I've been to the bottom my Gamcare friends and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I have exhausted myself to despair. My gambling life is sooo over.

Right now that 5 years seems a long long way away seeing as I'm only 20 days gamble free but I'd rather this way than the gambling. It has totally wrecked me for the last 7 years. To have the thoughts in your head every day was sick. Constantly thinking of nothing else but gambling. So sick. Been a tough couple of days reflecting. Can be hard to look myself in the mirror. Feels like a prison sentence 5 years only no time off for good behaviour lol.

Oh rant over. I really need this site and the people on here. You are my rocks. Thanks everyone. There will be no gambling today.

G

Hi Sadg, sorry been away !

Ive read you recent posts, they are really great/honest and inpsiring ! you are doing so well, just going back on your posts and others will continue to give us strength against the demons ! i had a great idea, i am thinking of creating some type of symbol/necklace something to identify that who ever wear's it, they are a reformed gambler, someone who has gone to hell and back and survived ! what you think ?, we are all in this together, it can signify our unity to defy this disgraceful and soul destroying habit !!!!!

Hi Sadg,

Just read your story. Not much to add. Been a gambler 20 years. On my second major attempt to kick this thing. the thing that resonated with me was when you mentioned thinking about the debt and how you could have been doing things for your family. I feel the same but I know that in order to get through this thing we have to be positive. You have stopped!!! And though it may not seem like it, things CAN get worse if you start gambling again. You may have a long way to go but you are on the right road. Just keep walking in this direction. Well done.

Day 21

Thanks. I am really positive most of the time. DarkPlace really good to see you back on here. Are you still in Finland? Hope everything is good with you and you're having a great time with the kids.

With regards to your symbol/necklace idea it obviously won't be to everyone's taste but I'm sure to others it'll be a great source of strength. Why not? Go for it. Why not start a new thread on the left maybe in 'research projects' and at least see what feedback you get from our Gamcare family. Can't hurt to try.

Have a good day everybody. There will be no gambling today.

G

Day 22

Off to work. Won't be gambling today. Enough said!

G

enjoy your work sadg, stay strong and away from the demons ! im back in the UK, had a great time in Finland ! especially with my kids and watching west ham beat chelsea....

Day 24

Great day out with my son and my wife. Took him to a kids xmas party put on by my work. Quality family time and no thoughts whatsoever of gambling. Not sure it gets any better than that. Hoping for many more days like this one.

G

Nice one g what a great positive day it's nice to see resisting the urges in previous days brings you to a positive one like today great stuff mate 🙂 keep strong .

Hi G

Well done and great you are spending time with the family this is what Xmas and the rest of the year is all about :-), it is a hell of a difference than spending it gambling it is good to see both of us have taken gaint strides to claimimg or life backs

Keep up the good work and just for today I will not gamble

Hugh

Hello Sadg

Sounds like your winning the battle mate. Keep up the good work were all here for you!!!

All the best

Simmo

Well done sadg, keep it up my friend.... I'm with you brother

25 days down, 1000's to go. No problem for an ex gambler like me.

Good luck to everyone else in your recoveries.

G

Keep up the good work mate were all with you, I'm enjoying my gamble free life and would hate to go back to the old lifestyle, we can do this!!! One day at a time, and just for today we will not gamble!!!

All the best mate

Simmo

On to Day 26.

Bit more Xmas shopping to get done today. Channel Tunnel tickets booked for France at the weekend. Off to see the in-laws. Will be picking up all the Xmas wine and beer.

Back to London for work tonight. Busy day ahead. Stay strong everybody. There will be no gambling today.

G

hi sadg, good on you ! being gamble free makes your life more organised does it not ? when we are deep in that hell hole ! we could not plan a trip to the dentist or anything..... well done ! really pleased for you ! all the best Dark Place !