@adam123 - Thank you so much for firstly taking the time to read through my diary, I know what a minefield my thoughts are but it means a lot that you’ve taken the time to not just read them but to message me, so thank you.
Today marks *Day - 276
And I’m still going strong with my sobriety & GF!! Every day so far lately seems to make me even stronger with my will & clearer in my understanding my this addiction, it is an animal that you have to be aware of otherwise it will bite you. Most recently my life has darkened around me right at my door with family health which would previously been an easy & huge trigger to not only relapse but completely fall apart... But I can safely say that the measures I’ve been working with have made me determined & stronger than I’ve been previously & the thoughts of gambling haven’t come into play but the voices have empowered me to keep focused... But a big factor in this also is the strength of my partner, I’ve said it on so many occasions I really don’t know where I would be without her - She really is something else & I’m blessed to have her in my life.
My year 1 milestone falls on 25th December 2020... That just blows my mind... But hitting Day 276 today is a huge step & one I am immensely proud of.
Im so happy that you’re doing well in your journey with your sobriety, I’m now going to take the time & read through your story if that’s ok? We can beat this & with messages as like yours to me now it helps so keep up the fight & the togetherness!
Speak again soon!
yeah go for it mate mines a rollercoaster. ive been on here five years and have quite a few diaries. All the best adam
Hi @adam123
Apologies I thought I’d said on my message earlier but just read back through what I’d written....
So....
HUGE well done for reaching your 300 day milestone!! That’s amazing & you should feel proud of how well you’re doing! Not just with your gambling but all of your vices!
Day-301
Its only bloody day 301!!!!! Of my sobriety to gambling!
Things in my personal life are a right mist of a rollercoaster for better & worse... But whatever the emotion none of my thoughts have picked up on gambling or having an urge to either!
So yeah FU gambling!
To everyone out there remember to have a goal & dream of where you want to get to... It’s not going to be easy but having a goal & dream aids your focus...
Speak again soon... BOOM 301 days though hey!
Dear @sillyboy1981,
Huge congratulations on 301 days gamble free. You are so right, having a goal to focus on and allowing yourself to dream is really helpful. And I am sure you have also put quite a lot of thought, work and effort into getting this far. Not long to the year!
Please keep us posted and keep up the excellent work!
Wishing you all the best,
Eva
Forum Admin
Day -328
Just a quick pit stop on my sobriety to being GF...
Im now on day 328!!!! Oooooosh... I’m in a lovely rhythm of life & new beginnings...
Everyday is day 1!...
Another day 1 ✅... Love this way of living without the anxiety of money & gambling removed... Not all anxieties have gone but this is a big one!!
Thank you me you are great!!
Speak again soon
Day-342
Wnning!! On & completed another day 1 but running at 342 days on my sobriety!!
Loving my family life so much..! My lady my son & my Pip...
Gambling is a noise I do not need in my life.. I’ve finally seen that I’ve already won the biggest prize there is ever to win... True love & true affection... I am loved & I love in return..
I have so much to live for & so much to be happy about... My lady... My Son & My Pip are my world & complete my heart full of more than love, I am truly lucky & blessed...
I have won no matter what!
Heres to to tomorrow’s day 1..!
Speak again soon x
Wow that's inspiring!!!! I got to the year mark last Tuesday mate horray..... Will be here when u reach urs. All the best adam
Day-349
Hi Adam, that’s amazing news that you’ve hit another great milestone!! Hooray to & for you!! Reading through other peoples travels is creating pleasing... The highs & the lows... It’s what grounds us all of that honesty & vulnerability of it all...
A few more days to go for me...
speak again soon
Day-349
I feel excited & happy about the day before my next milestone in my sobriety of being gambling free...
I look back in my mind & in my soul of what I have gone through this past year & im amazed at my inner circle that have been there with me along everything that I have tackle... The demons & the anxiety that i have within are always going to be my biggest hurdle & I still struggle every minute of every day with them & I don’t think that I’ll ever be free completely of them... But the gambling I’m happily not fighting that beast as it’s a life choice I don’t want for or need in my life...
I think I’m at the stage now where I’m honest with myself & those that I love and trust closest too me & that does make me happy and free...
The next phase & stage I am scared and worried to take... My demons & my anxieties... I’m strong enough now I feel given the year I’ve gone through & what I’m facing in my personal life to ask for help through counselling as I’m trapped in my own mind... I’m angry... I have no patients... I can see it & I feel it & it saddens me as it’s not the person I am or want to be... I feel sometimes that I’m not aware of other people or there feelings... But then instantly I’m completely aware and feel awful about it... I have a lot of self doubt & insecurities and who I am... About what I look like... About what I do & what I say... But then again I’m completely aware of it all and I’m ok... It freaks me out and scares the life out of me...
I have ahold of this illness & dark beast of gambling and now it doesn’t feel like the dark beast anymore just a relationship I wish I’d never had but understand why I had it... What I want and need to know now is what is this other ?!?.??... That I’m feeling, going through & experiencing...
I need help with it... So this is me accepting I need to take that next step!
Today though was a wonderful day... Me & my partner took my son to see Father Christmas... It’s probably the last year I’ll have with him & the spirit of believing... It’s a mixed emotional feeling of I want it all to be amazing at the same time it’s probably the last time he will feel the way he does about it.. I live my boy & my partner so bloody much & im so thankful to the universe for them... They fill me with so much joy, love & happiness I just want to give it back to them ten fold...
On a good note today was another day 1 which ✅ off day 349... Brining up tomorrow as another milestone... So here’s for today & what tomorrow brings!
Speak again soon! X
Day-350
Only gone & done day 350!!!
Speak again soon...!
Hi sillyboy, you're doing so well, you are right I don't think any of us will be totally free from the demons inside us but I think that living a life fully in recovery we can push those demons to the back of our minds and have the barriers in place when we are tested. Being honest with yourself and people around you empowers you makes you stronger the lying and secrets we used to keep made us weak fed our addiction. If we keep what we know is right at the heart of our recovery we will get through. Your post 9th Dec really inspiring as you've shared what you struggle with and what is going well, family time and love for your family shines out. Others including me find posts like this inspirational and reinforces the fact we are not ' demons' we are ordinary folk who have fallen foul to this addiction. Long may your recovery continue
Day-360
Firstly thank you @charlieboy for again talking the time to read through my mind & madness of what I write down...
Ive just ticked off another day 1 & that means I’ve today ticked off 360 day 1’s... ✅
Talking of day ones I have just read through my *Day-1 diary entry & wow... I have come a long way this year with my sobriety to gambling... Being open being honest & accepting that it’s me that needs to want this is hugely key... I have listened to myself & ive been honest... It is bloody hard to start with but the more it’s broken down to task & day by day the smoother it gets to deal with... The want & acceptance of life style choice for me is & was the biggest turning point in why I am on my road of recovery in sobriety...
I will keep the promises from Day 1’s first insert & use them every day 1...
Speak again soon!
Day-364
So today is the day of Eve’s...
Christmas Eve... Sobriety Year One Eve...
Speak again soon
DAY-365 *********
Of all the day 1’s I’ve ticked off I didn’t see me doing this a while ago... BUT today I have just ticked off my 1 year of sobriety to gambling!!! Day 365!!
Ive done a full year... I mean... f*****g WOW!!
This life choice I am on is amazing are far more appealing & filling than what I’d previously been apart of..
Merry Christmas to me & Happy Christmas to all & to all a Happy Christmas!!!
I feel bloody ecstatic right now but again this is just the start!! Tomorrow we go again!!
To anyone that may look upon my ramblings if you take anything away from what i talk about it’s to be firstly honest with yourself... Wanting the change... Accepting the help... Being honest... Keeping to a routine... It will become natural to be a new normal & it’ll make you happier than the anxiety of the highs & lows..
For me I choose My Partner... My Son & My Born to be...
Year 1 ✅
Speak again soon!
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