Hi,
Im a compulsive gambler from Australia. Something I cant escape from.( As in its always going to be there.) Im 34 started with my father at the greyhounds at 13. My father would leave it at the racetracks. When I got towards 18 I starting at betting shops we call them TAB's here.Been a problem officially from 2000. Have sincerely been to thousands of GA meetings in my lifetime and hundreds of counselling sessions.I have self excluded, got caught the other day. It tool months for the lady in the venue to notice me and I think it helped that I was nearly the only one in there at the time. lol. I took responsibility and was relieved that she asked me to leave. My fault.
Can stop but staying stopped is a different story. I think Im going to be all powerful next time I gamble as I look at gambling differently with a fresh mind big mistake, never helps compulsive gambling goes worse from where you left off. Had some goes at stopping sincerely however to cut a long story short I have never gone over 6 months off in 14 years. I am a very sick gambler deep down I think its the most smartest way to pass time and pleasurable activity in the world only to be met with pure authentic misery, dehydration, nausea, irritability, panic,not shaving, eating, profound stress. Only to always find out all the money I wanted from gambling I already had. Misery!
Anyway went back to ga 3 days ago. First time in over a year. I was wrong to be negative about it for such a long time I could relate to a lot people and they could relate to me. There was nothing left for me to do or go as I am still possessed and obsessed with the nature of the problem. As in how much I lost and how to stop.
Day 3 off gambling as of now
Good morning
Welcome to the forum,a place where you will receive a great deal of help,advice and support from like minded folk who all share a common goal
To rid the destruction of the gambling which as you say gifts their lives misery.
As you will know the doors of recovery revolve,it does not matter how many times you walk through them,it is about what you learn each time you enter.
I have used the GA room since I started my recovery,it gifted me the ability to see there is another way to live.
For twenty years I simply would not accept that there was another way,gamblings vice like grip upon my mind always blinded me from the fact that as you rightly say
'all the money I wanted from gambling I already had'
I felt like I needed to be a winner,constantly chasing that pipe dream,when in fact the only way for me to win is to abstain.
With irony stopping throwing my hard earned at a event which outcome I had no control over it's outcome really does gift the compulsive gambler a place in the 'winners enclosure'
I hope you stay there fella,bottom line is the choice is yours
A huge well done for making it.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back
m8 i kind of know where you are coming from and i keep kidding myself saying yeah one more bet , ill make it ok . i almost won that time, this time ill withdrawl my winnings. no no no because i never do, i had a really hard look at where i was last year and how i got to now where im in £20000 pounds of debt and nothing to show for it, i hate myself for it but the more i think these thoughts the worse it gets, today i lost £20 not alot i know and i was up at one point and i could not stop as i was fixated by winning, its like i cant take loseing. i realised i am loseing myself, who i am , i lost friends, family, money i have worked hard for, and precious time, precious time i could be spending enjoying myself, i for me gambling is the worst, ive made many mistakes in my life but this is the worst, ive done drugs, but gave up after years, ive hurt people i love because of the mistakes ive made, ive lied about money, stolen to just give it to a online casino, no more will these perfetic rich people take from me no no no more, as of today im done with online gambling, its too assesible and is becoming more and more in britain, it should be banned its the devils work, he wants us to fall and then he wants to take our sole, god wants us to lead a path of light and happyness, have you ever noticed that every thing that brings you high as in drugs, alcohol, gambling, stealing, always has repercussions that because the devil wants us to fall, your traveling in life every thing is perfect then all of a sudden there is temptations every where that is because the devil is working very hard to sin and to kill our selves when there is nothing left, then he has rights to our soul, god gives us free things that are more rewarding and without repercussions, the stars, the beautiful animals, tree's, family, friends, the great world, its only when the devil sees you and thinks hmmmm how can i destroy this persons life so there sole is mine, then he says i know ill tempt them into a nice apple a apple that is forbidden for a reason, god gave us free will to make are own choices the devil will manipulate those choices by temptation by taking you off the path you are leading and into hell just where he wants you. im not trying to go all religious on you m8 but look around, it's every where temptation things that are not good for you or anyone, but we have a choice and today my choice is no more gambling online ever, ive gave my card to a trusted friend, and only ever gonna have small amounts of cash at any one time, im gonna get through this one day at a time, look at the positives of life and what it has to offer, i dont want to get to 50 and not have any happy memories, money cant buy happyness and it is the root of evil. but it is essential to buy things with but i would rather earn my money and spend it on something i can do like a day out with my son, not give it to a casino. day one today and well done m8 for your day 3 keep it up dont give in to the temptation.
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