starting again

You find the willpower & the strength in you with the help of this forum & anywhere else you can get it! Why not give Gamcare a call & see what they suggest?

Your debt management plan will end just as long as you keep choosing 'no' & that is all part of your hope for the future!

You can stop gambling for you & your kids even though it's not easy! You proved before you can do it, & you will do it again because you are back so you haven't given up giving up!

We are right behind you! Chin up & start fighting - ODAAT

thank you for your reply just someone replying when i feel so alone right now, when will i start feeling normal and positive about life again, i want to be happy and i want my kids to be happy. i want to fight it, i just feel i have no fight left. i use to be a happy positive girl i feel that part of me is completely gone, i use to have ambition, dreams and was really motivated. i dont even want to feel sorry for mysekf as that gets you no where.

im going to try and fight (and keep my chin up, that is a big ask)

thank you

It's all in there somewhere, just masked by this vile addiction! It is telling you you have no fight just like it lied all those times about this being the time you would be rich beyond your wildest dreams! I am coming out the other side of an affair with Mr Gamble that lasted nigh on 3 decades - if I can do it anyone can! There have been good days & bad days but the 1st 3 days were the worse by far! Taking things One Day At A Time as I fully expect to do for the rest of my life is working & it is one day now rather than the seconds & minutes I was fighting early on in the journey!

I know you have no money @ the moment so your Time-Money-Location triangle is broken but you need to work on keeping it so, can you turn your money back over to your Mum until you get a bit stronger? Do you gamble online because blocks can help this (unless you are a computer whizz)!

Why don't you give Gamcare a bell? You have nothing to lose!

People may not always post but we all walk together on the journey & you may find joining the 2015 challenge a help! NT also has a thread in tips for keeping busy as you will need to be prepared to distract yourself from urges!

Be strong - ODAAT

Thanks again, I am late on my rent and finally discussed with my landlord about repaying what I owe so that is one less thing I have to worry about, it helps talking and I just want to get myself on track and become gamble free.
I seriously need to keep the triangle in my mind I think that will help me rid this addiction.

A quick question how long did it take till u started feeling normal and stronger

o*g, I would have to read back through my diary for that...I know I could barely get out of bed the first few days & I also know I had a shocker on day 18 but by then I was already strong enough to be making the right choices & was able to get through them! Everyone is very different but most people start to feel better very quickly although a lot of us experience irrational mood swings in the early days as we try & find our feet! I know you have debt repayment plans in place for some of the stuff & I think that by getting any other debts 'sorted' in this way will alleviate some of your stress but yours isn't all financial/gamble related! I gambled through greed & what I knew rather than running away from stuff so I was in a different place from you...There is a lot of stuff on here about fixing what the gambling masked & they may be more insightful diaries for you to have a read of! You can always post on someone else's diary if you have questions you think they could answer!

You can do this - ODAAT

Thanks so much I will do that.

Thanks for the advice,
I guess I need to see for myself in time when I can start feeling like my gambling is ruling me and I can control it.

I think that would be a great idea for the bookies my problem is online gambling, slot machines are my thing there are just so many sites out there you exclude one and then there's 10 new ones waiting to take your money.
If only there was a site that connected them together to enable people like ourselves to be blocked. I mean why isn't that possible and hasn't it been done.
I suppose I'm angry about it all how there's help like these sites but why isn't there a place where you can put your name down and not be allowed to gamble online why isn't is more controlled for the people like me who can't control themselves.
I even spoke to my bank about blocking gambling website but they were unable to help.
I wish you the best and carry on being strong,

There are blockers! K9 is a free one (you'll need someone to set your password or do a gobbledygook cut & paste I believe) & I've seen a sticky post about the others but a call to Gamcare may well be worth your while!

Hi loser1411,

ODAAT and others post a lot of sensible advice.

I use the 2015 Challenge and have 60 Days "clean" and have found it a great help. I'm happier now and feeling calmer. No major urges to gamble at present. You will begin to feel better as the non gambling days rack up.

One thing I would add if you are feeling really depressed, is have a chat with your GP. It maybe a course of medication and or counselling could be beneficial for you ?

Best Wishes.

I am feeling better but have been here before. Its a weird feeling when you know u have no money I feel stupid and frustrated but knowing I have no money also makes me feel abit better knowing I have none to gamble.
A few times I have completed rinsed my bank account and when the money's all gone I feel the a sense of relief that its all gone as I have to stop. I can't really explain it. I don't play slots to win I play to lose because it makes no differnce how much I've won I carry on til its gone, its always been the same. Its insane really. But I don't want to be like that anymore, I want to repay my debts repair my credit rating and start living and enjoy my hard earned money with my children.

Finally think my relationship with partner is over been a long time coming I just feel numb about it, not upset not happy just something that has come to an end.
I'm using all the stuff going on in my life as a time to start a new beginning a better one.
Here's to day 2.
Thanks for ur advice

Hi odatt my partner has a laptop and he will be moving out soon so that won't be a problem but my phone is is there a blocker for that, I will do some research now. Also been reading your diary (only half way through tho) and have to say have enjoyed reading. Wishing you all the best

Hi there,

Firstly well come to GC. Very important steps by admitting having this addiction been made.
I am not sure if K9 works on phones, i had to install gamblock on my android which was around 50 pound for a year license...but am positive that K9 being free blocker has upgraded their services by now. Keep searching, I'm sure there is something out there.

Keep up good work and keep fighting. Fog will start lifting and you will find your old self.

Day at a time
all the best, you can do it!!!

Sandra

I have seen threads on here about phones (I think the iPhone's are particularily stubborn) but I didn't do my damage online so never really took a great deal of notice & can't remember who posted them - Soz! Gamcare should know but I am conscious that some people have downgraded phones to prevent access so maybe not!

My diary gets lost after the 1st couple of pages with some hi jinx between us that makes no sense unless you can see the corresponding threads (even people on here reading @ the time could make no sense of it) so in summary, I remain in recovery armed with a couple of bricks (metaphorical of course) @ duncanmac's suggestion with which to smash Mr Gamble's face in should he come calling.

Can you turn your money over to anyone or put it all into a passbook account? I am sure someone mentioned getting a cash card instead of debit card as the online companies won't accept them?! I know what you mean about the relief of having no money, it's simply about breaking the Time-Money-Location triangle which prevents gambling!

Some testing times ahead of you but you have your children as well as you to work for now 🙂 Maybe worth popping over to tt1980 - I am not on the site so much these days & may not be completely up to speed but I'm pretty sure she had a partner walk out very early on so she's in a more similar position & you may be able to support each other!

Keep fighting, you can do this - ODAAT