Starting again, again,.

where is the setback pat ?

you didnt give in and thats all that matters.

i would call it rapid progress mate.

17 weeks,congratulations,

keep going,you can and are doing it 😉

Hi Pat,

Have to agree with winningpost. More a cause for celebration - in an off moment you were caught off guard and reverted to what came naturally, that is, you wanted to have a bet, and then you came to your senses and you were disgusted with yourself.

Everything worked as it should. Excuse me for saying, but I think you're being a little hard on yourself.

'Congratulations on the triumph of the New You over the Old You.'

I know what you mean for me the bookies was always a place to hide myself away and get away from a problem . The fact that you didnt need to go in shows how far youve come . For me the thought is always somewhere in the background but know that going back is only going to make things worse,im trying mot to look to far ahead and deal with things as they come.Good Luck and keep strong Denis

Hi Pat,

Hope you had a better day today. There always seems to be a fair amount of s*i* floating around, but gamblikng isn't going to make it any better.

BTW, tried to join that group (GT's), but got booted off because I'm in a lottery syndicate (£6/month), been in it 3 years and it would be awkward to quit, so I just pay up when asked. But that excludes me from the list. I can promise you, however, that I won't be gambling in any other form this year.

MMLJ

Congrats on 4 months Pat,who would of thought it back in september hey? Well done for overcoming your urge the other day,its all part of giving up,remember were trying to change a bad habit of a lifetime,there's gona be good and bad days whether were gambling or not,that's life. Keep strong,we can't win,cos we can't stop.

Hi Pat,

Hope you had a good weekend. I was working all day yesterday, and today I had my M&D round and I did the cooking. I'm finding that I don't think about gambling unless I come to this site - day to day, I really seem to have worked it out of my routine. Later today or tomorrow I'm going to seriously work out how to reduce my debts.

Give us an update when you're ready!!

just popping in to say hi Pat and to wish you well...been following your diary and sending you good wishes..

thoughts and feelings can change so much on an hourly basis sometimes...keep posting on your diary ..xx

all the best Rach and Dot

Had a good weekend, not a thought about having a bet. Lots of thoughts of gambling (past memories), I was at home chatting to my OH on Saturday, a normal everyday chat about nothing in particular. it struck me as we chatted that it was very different for me from when I was gambling, in so far as when gambling I was always vetting in my head what I was going to say before I said it to make sure it was not contradicting a previous lie I may have told, it got me thinking that I do actually feel more relaxed now than I used to. Later that day that thought came back to me, the idea of all the lies I told, it became second nature to me to lie, and being a good liar is certainly not something to be proud off. I was not an online gambler (but am sure an online gambler may have a different slant on the same story) all my gambling was in a bookies so always used cash. That always lead to hiding my stake money when things were going my way (they did an odd time), lying to explain why I was broke when they did not. Always being cautious not to leave any betting slips in my pockets, hard to explain 200 win on T6 Crayford 1.07 when I was too busy at work to meet my OH for lunch...

I guess where I going with this is now that I look back at gambling I only see very negative things, memories of a big win do nothing for me. The pain at lying, wasting time and money, not being the father and husband I should have being are now all I feel when I think of gambling.

Gambling was too big a part of my life for a very long time but not anymore, I am done..

Sorry for the ramble but I needed to say (write) it, I hope everyone is doing well, keep strong, we are all much better people than gambling would allow us to believe.

"we are all much better people than gambling would allow us to believe"

Absolutely true Pat...we are all good people who have got lost trying to get back home ..keep posting

Hi Pat just read your last post.Im like you in that i havent told my wife everything and to be honest and im not sure what good it would do if i did . I can relate totally to the weekends and other days i seem to have a lot more time to spare now and am not constantly trying to hide things lie about where ive been. Last summer we went on holiday in england and i had betting slips from ongoing bets concealed in the car and wallet whilst away ,my wife found a card transaction from a bookie on the drive one day which i invented some ridiculous story about .Its all because i cant control gambling and i dont think ill ever be able to so heres to another day without having to make a late trip to the office or shops and no gambling

Good luck to all denis

Hi Pat,

Thanks for the post. So glad I made you smile. I was just trying to be honest. It's amazing how distant the gambling is. It seems like I have removed that part of my brain.

Anyway well done to you. Good luck with the diet. I understand the comfort eating and isn't it great not having to shred those losing betting slips or hide the cash and the winning ones.

All the best mate, IanB.

18 weeks, 126 days.

I find myself wishing the month away at the moment wanting payday to come around so i can pay another bit off my debts. i really dont want to get into the habbit of doing this as focusing too much on the debt is not the way i want to go. I know by not gambling the debt will eventually go, but i also know that with the debt gone i can really look forward to living again, nice treats for family (they sooooo deserve them) a hoilday, finish off jobs at home that got put on the long finger. lots to do but can only really make them reality when bills are paid.

On the gambling front i have had no thoughts at all. i cant bare the thought of blowing my money like that again.

the future looks very positive now (debt aside). i have my health (3-4 stone over weight but working on that) i have a fantastic wife and two wonderful kids. i know from readying diaries here that i am in a very lucky position, i am finally realising this and i certainly appreciate everything i have.

Good luck to all on here.

Nice post, Pat

The debt is a pain, isn't it, a constant reminder of our stupidity...but at least we survived. time should sort it all out.

Hi Pat,

Hope you had a nice couple of days.

Starting to turn cold here in the North of England...the days pass, but I'm happier and happier in my gamble-free life. I'm sure it's the same for you

I've just re-read your whole diary, partly to see your journey and partly to see mine.

Very interesting. I'm a little disappointed that I had to delete my old diary - there was a lot of good stuff from both of us on it - but, unfortunately it was necessary (and it taught me a lesson about computers).

I believe you're in London this week? Have a good time. Don't be tempted into 'holiday bet' madness. It isn't worth it now we've come this far.