Starting again. Again.

Right, I’m going to take some time to write some things down now. firstly, it feels like I did this last blow out completely on purpose. Almost to see just how stupid I could be. Complete escapism, and, weirdly, I managed to stop with some money left. So.. what to take from that?! So, what am I dodging differently? Well, I have excluded from all sites now. I'm really hoping the Gamstop thing works properly this time, and, I'm using a bank account that has banned gambling transactions. I've had a couple of months of paying down debts, and so have some breathing space there. And now, I'm not going to avoid this site and the online world in general. I'm going to confront this head on.... yes, I have a kind of compulsion, and yes, even though I tell myself that it is not as bad as some have it, it so easily could be. Thanks to everyone for their support so far xx

Well done you i wish you all the luck in the world. I know how you feel - its weird isn’t that last big gamble and you say to yourself enough is enough- i did that a month ago and i feel free - every day is a struggle but the blocks help me otherwise it would probably be a different story for me

Thanks Poblwc, you know, I think half my problem is that I didn’t see myself as having such a serious issue. I figured those who were thousands of pounds in debt and blowing all their wages were somehow more in need and I could manage this. Had a rude awakening now though. I'm going to write something on here every day for at least two months. Even if it’s just a boring

update!!

Glad you will stick around and write a diary, I’m going to be completely honest throughout mine, I’m amongst others that go through this pain.First well done for getting back to it, this disease creeps up on us at any time don’t ever think you are free from it, it’s a lifetime battle.Actually having debt keeps me focused now, I’m gonna start a thread on how it’s actually weirdly helping me.stay strong and good luck.

I am also starting again.. again. Tomorrow is a new day. We can't expect the problem to go away if we don't change something. What else can you do to stop? Think about it. Good luck.

That bank account that bans gambling transactions has worked wonders for me.

Make sure that you keep using it - I intend to!

NT

Lil30 wrote:

Right, I’m going to take some time to write some things down now. firstly, it feels like I did this last blow out completely on purpose. Almost to see just how stupid I could be. Complete escapism, and, weirdly, I managed to stop with some money left. So.. what to take from that?! So, what am I dodging differently? Well, I have excluded from all sites now. I'm really hoping the Gamstop thing works properly this time, and, I'm using a bank account that has banned gambling transactions. I've had a couple of months of paying down debts, and so have some breathing space there. And now, I'm not going to avoid this site and the online world in general. I'm going to confront this head on.... yes, I have a kind of compulsion, and yes, even though I tell myself that it is not as bad as some have it, it so easily could be. Thanks to everyone for their support so far xx

Yeah you have a massive gambling problem like the rest of us lil... Welcome to the club (?!)

Listen to the advice you get on here! People take time out of their day to give it to you because they have felt your pain and they care!

I can sense you want to stop all this... Blocks... Finally!

Now let's do this proper this time!!! Onwards and upwards! No more circles please! I can sense you want change badly so is frustrating to read these things when we both know you could have and should have done more to protect yourself!

The key to all this i guess is finally looking after yourself and wanting to take care of yourself. Come on, you are worth it! You can do this and you do have the power. Let's do this right this time. You can realise the better life that you and others around you deserve.

Gambling money just disappears into the ether. You're not being fair on yourself and those around you... Both parties deserve better ;o)

I think it would be interesting for you to acknowledge what your instant/initial reaction was when I alleged you have a 'serious' gambling problem like the rest of us in my previous post...

Did it get your back up?
Did you feel I was being over the top?
Did something finally click for you?

I reckon have a look at that initial reaction and then base your recovery and self-awareness on the understanding gained from that moment. I think it will reveal far more about where you actually are with your gambling as opposed to what you might be telling yourself or where you want to be - the latter may be shrouding your judgement which could affect your ability to move forward with this.

I guess all I'm suggesting is that anyone that enters these forums desperate for change and declaring that they don't want to gamble again, then appearing later on and saying that they've done it again is effectively being controlled by an external force, one superior to their own autonomy and willpower - and that force is so powerful that it is getting the person to engage in destructive activities that they don't even want to do. To me that is powerful, that is serious.

The relative value of how much someone has gambled doesn't come into it in my book. What I suggested above could be applied to someone who has brought just one scratchcard against their will, know what I mean?

This doesn't solely apply to gambling either - it could be applied to how one treats others, ones motivation/productivity, ones spending habits, infidelity etc etc...

Anyway, good luck... You can do this. Keep in touch.