Starting again Aged 35

Chris

welcome to the forum a place were you will receive a wealth of advice and unconditional support from like minded folk.

it takes great courage to admit to having an addiction and is the first step toward a better life.

the losses are gone you have to put them behind you.

my advice the same that was gifted to me on my first days abstinence.

there is a triangle Time - money - location

take one away and the punt becomes impossible giving you a chance to re train that addled brain.

the result you arrest the gamble and in doing so gift yourself a 100% payrise.

ultimately it is about making a choice.

one day at a time

no bet leads to a better tomorrow.

be kind to yourself, recovery gifts you so much

most of all you actually win. the thing we fruitlessly chased.

keep posting.

duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Chris,

I'm sorry to hear about your family moving on. The best way to make things right, probably the only way, is to make a permanent change and commitment to not succumb to addiction. It's right to accept money lost as this is critical to abstinence (I personally feel). Keep the diary and you''ll get great support from people who are more experienced than me!

You can find your own method of abstinence and some of the phrases are catchy. The main thing is to be resolute and start taking responsibility. I try and remember how bad things were in moments of weakness.

Good luck mate, Myles

Chris

You are not alone and came to the right place. Speak it all out, get it all out by posting here. Time heals the wounds, the only thing you have to remember is that by not gambling you will win every day.

Gambling is one of the most powerful addiction and can be beaten by committing to never place a bet, of any kind.

Your story sounds very familiar to mine. I, the same as you have lost my house, my money, my business, my girlfriend, other possesions and most importantly my mental health. Gambling has thrown me into the most terrible depression. I am fighting daily with the depression and I am not motivated to do anything at all.

Start a new life, gamble free. It is never too late. I am only 28 and have been gambling since I was 7, starting on scratch cards and going on to poker machines and then slots and roulette. The more money I had the more I gambled. If you wish you can follow my diaries here :

1st Diary :

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/for…index.php?tid=230371&f=24

2nd diary:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/for…index.php?tid=253900&f=24

Stay strong my friend

Chris

You are not alone and came to the right place. Speak it all out, get it all out by posting here. Time heals the wounds, the only thing you have to remember is that by not gambling you will win every day.

Gambling is one of the most powerful addiction and can be beaten by committing to never place a bet, of any kind.

Your story sounds very familiar to mine. I, the same as you have lost my house, my money, my business, my girlfriend, other possesions and most importantly my mental health. Gambling has thrown me into the most terrible depression. I am fighting daily with the depression and I am not motivated to do anything at all.

Start a new life, gamble free. It is never too late. I am only 28 and have been gambling since I was 7, starting on scratch cards and going on to poker machines and then slots and roulette. The more money I had the more I gambled. If you wish you can follow my diaries here :

1st Diary :

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/for…index.php?tid=230371&f=24

2nd diary:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/for…index.php?tid=253900&f=24

Stay strong my friend

Morning all, well yesterday was hard I felt so low and found it hard to get started on anything, but it didn`t make me turn back, I stayed strong and as I sit here now the sun shining the start of another day I can add an extra day since my last bet. This is now day 10 double figures and counting. All the best to everyone reading this.

Hi Chris

Best of luck in your quest for abstinence. Stopping at 35, well I wish I could have done that, I'm 11 years older than you and have lost hundereds of thousands in the last 10 years and still cant get my head into a position where I can say I want to stop.

Full; marks to you for having the conviction. There is a lot of great information and advice and support on here. Read it and take it and make a better life for yourself.

Well yesterday was another bad day, after chatting to the wife via email, she told me she thinking of selling the house, not that any of the money would pay the debts it would just make her homeless and having to rent. So I turned my computer off and went back to work before saying anything that would make things even worse, but as the afternoon dragged on the lower I felt. So glad I emailed all the payday loan companies the night before asking to decline any requests and explaining why. But I sit here now knowing I got though it and now on day 12.

Chris, stay strong, you are making the right choices at the moment, I can see that is very tough for you and I hope that if your wife can see your efforts so she will start to maybe consider some sort of reconcilliation, it will take time but your efforts will be rewarded one way or another. I also have troubles with payday loans, sent my mails over 10 days ago, really surprised by the outcome although 1 or 2 of them have got a little funny. I know it probably seems really dark for yourself right now but set some positive targets, keep up the good work and feel good about what you are doing.

hope today is better for you

Phil

Morning all, we'll after reading many more post yesterday I went to bed with a few thinks stuck in my head and having slept on them I have come up with the following thought.

1. I need to stop hating myself, yes I hate what I did and who it made me, but right now I am on day 13 why still hate myself for that, others may and that is there right but today I start to feel positive I am doing the right thing it will take time some thing I'm not good at I like to see results straight away so I will do something today that I see the results from and hope it make someone else smile to.

2. My gambling is not an illness if it where an illness people would go to work each day looking for a cure, like with cancer and HIV, if I was ill I would take my pills everyday till it was gone, all I have to do is not place a bet.(easy said than done but true), instead 1000 of people go to work each day thinking of new games to rob your money quicker. I now see gambling as liegised robbery. Something I don't want to part of

So no matter what the day brings its going to be a good day take care all stay safe.

Well today is nearly at an end and it has been a good day, done some work in my dads garden and been and spent a great evening with my boys first time I've seen them in two weeks but more so first time I've spent time playing and having fun with them for months, I couldn't see how much gambling had taken away from me. Going back to see them again tomorrow. Thank you all for the support it really is making a difference.

Chris

well done on your continued abstinence fella, your attitude is testament to your hard work, don't be to hard on yourself.

The compulsion to gamble for me is an emotional addiction to which you are right in saying there is no cure, we can't take medication to fix it. Quite simply you are right all we have to do is not have a bet, that then gives us the opportunity to eliminate the things which led us to gamble.

As a rule by and large we share the same trait if wanting things done yesterday, through our gambling the brain lived for instant results.and in that we wanted things for little imputed and even when winning it would never be enough.

Through arresting your gambling your life will improve, the time you get back, is priceless.

You are doing the right thing be proud of it and enjoy it.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Dear diary this entry is to be an ever lasting reminder of what I have done. 2 weeks I finally gave up chasing my losses and admitted they where gone start life again. 2 weeks ago I told my parents how bad it had all become. But 2 days ago I had a call to say mum was on her way to hospital after another stroke, the last she had one was also down to me and gambling. And I know today someone will say I told you so. They say things come in 3 and I can only see lots of 2 so I guess there is still more to add to this next week. It's not just my life I have smashed apart but very one who I ever loved has been taken down with me I hope they can recover as I am trying to do.

hang in there Chris, I do hope your mother gets better soon, remain strong and prove to yourself that you can deal with this latest unfortunate news in a constructive and hopefully positive manner. You have done very well of late and your mother I'm sure is very proud of her son.

Phil

Well thats day 15 over and not been a bad day spent time with my boys playing down the skate park and been over to see my mum who is improving well now, Not really thought about gambling today more where do i go from here. the wife had made it clear that i`m not even welcome at the house any more so guess its just time to give up and move on. Never wanted to say this but she better off without me and is already started rebuilding her own life without me.