I can't believe I'm having to admit this to everyone on here but I managed 101 days for it all to be taken away. Now I'm back where I was about 6 months ago. I genuinely believed I had stopped. I was determined and actually didn't feel like i wanted to. One day woke up did it and there I was. 7 or 8 weeks later I'm having to try and sort myself out of the mess my husband dug me out of. I'm devastated and ashamed. I know how telling him.last time.helped me but I don't want him dragging back into again. I know he wasn't looking at my accounts so I took the risk. I have met everyone down and don't know what to do again.
Hi, Kelmar,
Commiserations ...and practicalities. I hope you can tell him again, if you need higher barriers, it will have to be with his support. He can't monitor the accounts more vigorously unless he knows that he needs to.
But recovery isn't just about being gf or high barriers. They're the starting point, they're vital but if you're hanging on by your fingertips and stray money is a risk to you, taking more measures would change that. Ie a look at what gambling is giving you and how to replace it, group support, counselling etc.
Wish you well,
CW
Don't beat yourself up too much kel.
You're not starting all over again, although I know all too well it can feel that way. You've hit a bump on your recovery road, that's all. The important thing is to keep going. Use this to fuel your determination.
I feel honesty is very important, and I'm sure your husband would rather be told than have you hide it from him? You'll need his support. CW makes good points about barriers. Get all those blocks in place and consider speaking with a counsellor. I gave up my finances to my parents to begin with so I had no access to gambling funds whatsoever. That helped me loads in the beginning. I've since taken back the reins financially - and yes, I've had slip ups, but it's important never to give up!
I went 18 months gf at one point, so I can sympathise with how you're feeling. You're not alone, and I'm glad you came here.
Chin up, you'll be okay xxx
How are you getting on?
Always tell your partner should never keep secrets like that from a partner their there to support u through thick and thin , they will be more angry if u hid it from them and one day they will find out and it will be 10 times worse because it will be a case of well if u lied/hid that what else are you lying or hiding ? ... U need all the support u can get after a relapse because u will just feel like u won't win !
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