Steady as she goes!

hi weldy,

Thanks for your post, I'm sad i messed up, but i could kinda see it coming, any how that's recovery, as long as i learn and move forward i will be good.

Looks like things are going good for you at the moment too, it's nice to see people doing well in recovery and getting there lives back, i like the post about the odd things you did when gambling, me too, and I'm sure many others had some odd habits, think we should leave them behind with the gambling.

Thanks again for the support, i needed it.

green x

Off to do my short exam now. Hopefully it will be ok and I will pass. First step in what looks like it will be quite a long journey, judging by the reading list I got last night!

Weldy

Hi, again weldy,

Your last post to me brought a tear to my eye, like you say and i know a life without gambling is what i want, it's what we all want, i think it just took me right back to the reasons i hate what gambling has done to my life in the past, and how i need to continue my journey and be strong.

Although you probably don't realize such a small simple post has brought back that raw emotion to me just when i needed it, it's rare i have a tear in my eye, but today i have and really it's a tear of joy that i am in the right place i am not going to let gambling ruin my life.

Thanks weldy and keep going...:-)

green x

Cheers Green,

Yay!!! I passed!!! Was pretty easy, but still had to be done. Feel quite proud that I just booked it myself and got on with it. Onto the next phase now.

Weldy

Hi Weldy,

The only superstion I used to have was when seeing a lone magpie I would get really annoyed as I thought it meant I was going to lose when gambling that day. I didn't associate it with being unlucky in any other part of my life and I quite enjoyed seeing a lone magpie on three separate occasions today whilst out on a bike ride.

I've just remebered that I always used to fold my betting slips twice so that they were a quarter of their original size. Not sure why but I had to do it every time.

Well done with the exam. I'm not sure what you actually do for a living yet, but I'm sure I'll find out as I keep reading through the forum.

sme

Just a quick post to note the 60 day mark for me. Pleased with that. And the benefits that it has brought to my life. Still a long way to go though.

Sme - I was a roller, all my slips ended up cigarette shaped!!!

Weldy

Hi Weldy

Hope you are well and congratulations to you on passing your exam and for reaching the 60 day mark 🙂

I also find keeping very busy a real help in keeping me away from gambling. I'm generally very busy in work and gambling very rarely crossed my mind during working days and I very rarely placed bets that would be taking place / running whilst I was in work. What I used to do was pop into the bookies each night as I was approaching home and try and squeeze in as many bets as possible in a short period of time to get my fix before knowing I would have to leave for home before I would be home too late and start being missed with my partner who would then give me curious looks as to why I was home so late and grumpy. I'd then be straight onto the laptop and get sport on the tv looking for betting opportunities and then onto poker later in the evening and into the early hours.

I still pass the bookies on the way home from work every night and occasionally I still have to remind myself that old routine is a thing of the past, and it may sound a bit bonkers but by just driving past the right turn into the bookies parking bays I feel quite proud of myself as soon as I have driven past and get a real lift and sense of strength.

I've recently signed up to some survey sites so between completing the occasional survey, catching up on e-mails and browsing / contributing to this site I still get a chance to use the laptop to help me relax but in a much more constructive way. My daughter also gets much more of a chance to use the laptop without me making her feel guilty for asking me if she can use it soon / after me. How sad is that in terms of how I used to behave towards her 🙁

To end on a lighter note, I was a pen chewer and used to go through many a day through nervous chewing. I also used to change my handwriting to capitals or write out my bets in my best handwriting to try and change my bad luck - nuts hey !!!

Have a great day on Friday

Speak soon mate

LA

Hi Weldy, Null here!

Good to meet you in chat and I will be looking at your website today.

Keep going Weldy and thank you for the valuable support you offer to me and so many others on here. It's greatly appreciated.

Jas x

Hi all,

Another day safely negotiated for me as I am off now to play a charity gig at a Summer Ball for a local charity event. Should be fun as we have a ready made audience.

Weldy

Good luck with the gig Weldy and well done on the 60 days mark. I am at 107 days but had a really bad day on Wednesday when I felt at breaking point. I had a bit of money on me as well which was unusual. Anyway I came on here and read alot til 2pm when chat opened and your upbeat entries on your diary really helped me get from 1120am to 2pm.

Thanks for that

Hi All,

I have woken up all bleary eyed and tired! Didn't get in until 3 am from the gig, but it takes quite a lot out of me as it's quite energetic being frontman!

Got an unexpected item of mail from the taxman today aswell, he wants £2.5k more than i expected, so it's a bit of a blow to the finances as I was working towards a goal post that just moved!

Definately one of my "triggers" for gambling, so I'll have to keep my wits about me!

Also got my propectus and coursework for the professional examinations that I enrolled on and I have to say, having not studied for 20 years it's all a bit overwhelming and daunting! I thought I was busy already, but until the end of September it's going to be a really difficult and busy time!

If I were to slip into my old habits I would have no chance whatsoever, so it will help me to focus and keep on the straight and narrow.

I also have a "week from hell" coming up with so many meetings booked, band rehearsals tuesday and wednesday night, and a whole stack of work to get done in between. So if I am a little less active on the forum this week you will know why.

Going to have to try and get some of it done today and tomorrow to give myself a flying start to the week.

Weldy

I like the energy in your posts Weldy. At least now your energy is being spent on something worthwhile.

I agree with you with regards to the finances being a trigger to gamble....me too. At least we can recognise this now and put our barriers up. You got your barriers up Weldy?

You are doing just great, long may it continue.

Jas x

Well, Well Mr Weldy,

Just checked out your website. You didn't let on you looked like Dave Grohl (Foo's)

Very lucky girlfriend!

It's lovely to put a face to a cyberdiary. You are real, so am I, our recovery is real.

Jas x

Just checking in - 9 weeks completed today. No gambling thoughts today, just time spent with my children, great kids.

Weldy

Note to self;

Judging by the fact that it is now 4.00am and I can't sleep, abstaining from gambling takes time to resolve issues surrounding debt. Now I didn't expect to solve the problems in a couple of months, but it's so d**n difficult when in one hand you can abstain for a period of time, think that you are doing well and then to find that everything is still in a **** state because amongst other things, you made a right hash of it months ago.

It's sapping the strength from me right now and testing my resolve. I'm not going to give in to the beast because that's not what I am about, but I had to get things off my chest as it's really starting to frustrate me!

There are people out there in the business world, (no doubt sleeping like babies) while I'm here, wide awake but tired, feeling like they are taking the P*** out of me, and I feel powerless to sort them out. Had I not been such a t**s*r for such a long time, i wouldn't be bothered, but I am here in this situation because of my own doing. That sucks!

I know I have to let this go, and I'm trying really hard to do so, and had done so to an extent. I'm not trying to look back into the past, what's done is done, but i just wish that the past would stop messing with the future. It would make life a whole lot easier!

Well, enough said... I'll probably read this tomorrow, (squint at it anyway) and think what the f*** was I doing up at that time!

Will not get any sleep now as the alarm is set for 5.30am for an 8.00am meeting in Central London followed by another meeting at 10.00am. (oh JOY!!!)

May aswell stay up and deal with the matters in hand as sleeping seems alien to my person right now.

ODAAT seems to be very apt at the moment, like taking pidgeon steps when all I want to do is run! Patience is a virtue. Some of us are virtuous. Well, some of the time anyway....

Weldy