Soooo Its time to have a long hard look at myself and make some positive steps to change my whole addiction.
Quick Summary- I have always had issues with gambling.. From loosing my train fair home from the local fairground as a 12 year old to todays mess of being a lot of money up online to loosing it all plus a lot more in space of an hour. I have had Counselling about 5 years ago and worked really well but i never ever got to the root of why I gamble.
Why is today different? Well today is different because I have realised i am out of control with gambling and out of control with making simple rational decisions whilst gambling. I mean who is there right mind gamble over 3k in hour thinking they are going to make yourself rich? An addict like me i hear you say.
I have today made what i believe from reading other diaires the biggest step.. Telling the wife of my incredibly embarrasing addiction. A massive relief off my mind and within an hour together we have come up with a plan to help me over the next coming days/months.
We are going to change our internet tomorrow so we can block the gambling sites alltogether so i can cannot google online casinos and just open another account.
The wife has told her dad and he has already offered to take control of my finances.. Scary thought this as he will see how deep my gambling has been, But the fact i know at worse i could lose £100 at best I wont gamble again.
So I am feeling positive as i type but the losses today and over the past decade will continue to haught me.
Thanks for reading
Hi and welcome to GC!
Great to see you starting a diary and sharing your journey. Massive well done on opening up to your wife. Handing finances over is one of the helpful steps. Please don't forget that this must of affected her immensely also but there is support out there for her too! We all need to come to terms of this addiction no matter which side of the fence we are on.
Try blocking softwares on your devices. There are plenty out there to block gambling sites. I use GamBan and for yearly licence I paid nearly £11. Drop in the ocean comparing with losses for sure!
Keep posting and may I suggest GA? Groups are really understandimy and helpful. Also Gamanon for your wife, 3D support.
I see you have read around the forum and already took massive steps forward. Keep on moving..one day at a time! You're on a right track
Welcome again & all the best!
S x
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