"TALES FROM THE OTHER SIDE"

((((Jac))))

Thnak you for calling in on me.. Glad you are in my life...

After reading your post to me, its reasuring to know that I am on teh right path. Thaks for getting me xx

Kenya in your back garden.. Oh I can so relate to that.. When I was in Spain my firends are enting an appartment that has a garden that backs out onto a national forest and I did teh same I sat out there in the early ours, so peaceful just the sound of animals.. Thats part of teh reason for my move out there permantly and we will be renting in that very same block.. It makes me all fuzzy inside just thinking about it.. No matter what lies ahead will be managed ...

Have you ever thought about a trip to Israel for your next hols... The Dead Sea is renowned for healing properties for both the muscles and skin.. Its also a beautiful magical place.. Just a thoought (lol hope Jim hasn`t got the hump now I am planning a trip for you both)..

NO matter what comes your way you and Jim are a team and together you will continue your journey of life..

Love you loads

Lucy

xxxx

Hi Jac

I only now in all them months managed to read your diary.

First of all I hope you will pick yourself up a little healthwise. xx

I also wanted to say by reading your diary I was thinking about my own journey in beating this addiction. I did not have a partner and had to cope with it on my own. And was imagining if it would have been different with a good partner on my side. I don't know and needless to say, I will never know. I am just so glad it's over. Especially this first few weeks and months which I have thrown myself into full heartenly to achieve letting lose of this addiction. I was not fighting the addiction, I was working with the addiction.

My "partners" were definitely netline, people on gamcare, my counsellor and my children (especially my daughter as she is a grown up woman).

The way you described Jim and yourself in those first stages I could definitely recognise myself in both of you. The gambler and the mother. I was married to an alcoholic for 10 years and developed the gambling addiction during the marriage. What a choice, duh. So I started in my 30's. Anyway.

I wanted to say to you that you have been with me on my way in recovery all those months as well and I wanted to thank you for this. I might not have posted in your diary and only now, since my life is coming together that I find the time to sit down and do one thing after another. And one of the things was to write to you.

Oh, regarding to the psoriasis, maybe you want to look into reiki healing or so. xx It won't harm you and it sometimes helps people.

Give Jim a hug from me.

Andrea

Jac

It says so much about you that you can take time out for so many others, to offer support whilst suffering yourself. Jim as I am sure he knows is indeed a lucky man to have you as his wife (Doesn't do any harm letting him know now & again though hehehe)

I wish you, Jim and family all the very best of everything and feel truly grateful to have you as a supporter. Your diaries will continue to provide so many others with superb advice as it did for me

Hi Jac

I just read your post from end to end. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this. It has had a profoundly emotional effect on me and brought tears to my eyes. You have articulated so so well what this addiction is all about and have helped me more than you can know.

You are an amazing person. Thank you again and again.

Terri

Hi Jac, Thank you , thank you for laying your soul bare. It moved me to tears as it is exactley where I'm at. The tears are good, now I have to deal with the emotions and thoughts behind them. I realise I had been feeling angry and sorry for myself, very destructive, but now I need to deal with these emotions. You so understand this beast and its power to devour at the first sign of complacancy. On guard! I say. I feel, for this moment in time, stronger and better able to help my husband. Until I read your diary I think I was struggling to survive myself. I'm going to keep my diary up, even though I don't gamble. My husband may depend on the ability of me to ventilate in a safe place!! I apologise in advance if I have written something in the wrong place, I'm still all over the place and seem unable to follow simple instructions. it was pure accident I managed the first entry! Anyway Jacs, more power to your keyboard, I for one will seek out your words, they have given me hope and inspiered me. Today I woke up in a fog, this afternoon I can see a chink in the fog. Thank you so much and I hope your health improves. Ostrich

Jac,

I'm eternally greatful for the support you've given me on my diary. Why didnt i respond sooner?.... Well i can give you a thousand excuses but the real reason is i mustnt have wanted to or i would have done.No offence meant but i'm a compulsive gambler who is riddled with character defects.

My gambling was progressive to the point that i've lost everything but just for today i'm back in recovery which is also progressive.

As you say out with the self pity and if i can just keep out of my own way i'll be fine.

I'm not he arbiter of the universe. I cannot change or control anybody but myself.

I dont give to receive but it is a gift and a pleaseure to 12 step.

Best Wishes

John

You are a blessing to so many.

appreciate you ((Jac))

Love,

Peg

Hi all,

Thought it was about time I dragged my diary out for an airing. I still look into the site daily but I have had somewhat of a difficult year health wise. Which appears to of taken most of my energy in recent months.

As things hopefully settle down... or I get the hang of the ever-changing goal posts of my conditions! lol I hope to become more active again here. Why? because it helps me, as the wife of a compulsive gambler.

I am sad to see so many new faces about the boards but also glad that they have reached out & found somewhere to talk and try to make sense of the situation they find themselves in. So a big Hi to you all old & new 🙂

You have come to a great place for support for each other( & the staff aren't bad either! 😉 lol)

All the answers you want are all here... the direction you need to walk is all written here within peoples posts on the forums.

I may be the 'supporter' & not the gambler but I've been around enough to know that if you want to stop & have a better life for yourself, to be able to get your self esteem back and to stop punishing yourself time & time again... IT IS POSSIBLE! (despite what some may say!)

You need HONEST COMMITMENT to stop, you HAVE to CHANGE your way of PAST THINKING & PAST BEHAVIOURS to make this work.

Otherwise... It will just be a matter of days, weeks, months & even years... but you will find yourself back repeating history, back to the hell hole that is gambling. I know, my husband did that (after 3 years of not gambling) He stopped 'physically' placing that bet & thought he was ok. But he hadn't worked on himself, we both became complacent, he fell into the ' I can control it now' mentality... it always ends in tears.

Now he has been 'clean' for 2 yrs 7 mths. He is happy & healthy... gambling is no longer part of his life, he doesn't miss it. He no longer suffers with the stress from it all... he even looks a lot younger! (Its true)

It doesn't happen quickly, its something you have to stick at & work at. Like everything else in life, but it IS 'DO-ABLE'

You didn't become a compulsive gambler overnight... for most, it took years. Are you up for the challenge? To become a better person? I hope so... and being at Gamcare you are never alone with your journey.

Glad to be here

Jackie x

Hi Jackie! So great to hear from you! I hope you and Jim and the family had a wonderful Christmas, and are looking forward to a happy and healthy 2009!!

I haven't heard from Lucy since just after she moved to Spain. She was having trouble getting her internet sorted, and the phone call costs are quite expensive, so I'm hoping to hear from her soon! If not, I'm gonna call her hubby and find out what's going on!!! You're right, "Pinkness" is definitely lacking around here!

Wishing you all the best for the new year, and thanks for your unfailing support for so many, including me!

Love, Anna

Hi Jac,

Great minds think alike I've heard and clearly Anna has too...or is it that fools are never parted LOL...Well at this time of year I think it's good to wish special friends thanks for all they have done in 2008 and offer my best wishes for 2009.

You & Jim have helped so many people with your honesty, experiences and support via this board & GA. Thanks to you & Jim a great many people will be able to truly celebrate going into the New year with real hope of a gamble free life.

Thank you simply isn't enough, but at least it's a start x x

Hi Jac

Thanks so much for your post and your so right, if our old bones join in and give us some peace for 2009 that would be the icing on the cake lol.

Seriously though you have my greatest respect and appreciation, form day one you have encouraged and sometimes prodded me down the right path 🙂 your advice and shared eperiences for you and Jim were always spot on.

Heres to a peaceful 2009 to both of you and a respite for our weay bodies lol.

take care

love W xxxx

I want to keep this here... hope it doesnt get deleted! Its from a topic in OPG.

Hi,

Well I am firmly on Deeds way of thinking from his opening post.

To add to some of the things mentioned in Rustys post I say...

Yes the people who get themselves into difficulties through gambling, are the minority... but how big is that minority?

I don't know where the 'responsible gambling' people get their figures, because it is for the majority of people it is a secret problem... so therefore their 'numbers' have to be an incorrect account.

The government has plenty of previous data collected from the likes of America, Australia, Canada etc... that should be enough of a warning to what effect it has had on their countries populations... so why intentionally make legislation easier for the gambling industry here in our own country?... Are they not elected to serve & PROTECT its people.

Knowbody wants to make gambling illegal but all we ask for is HONEST INFORMATION compiled by those who have a proper insight into its dangers.

ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE FULL & HONEST INFORMATION ABOUT AN ACTIVITY CAN YOU MAKE INFORMATIVE DECISIONS ON WHETHER TO PART TAKE INTO IT OR NOT.

Compulsive gambling becomes a form of mental health. In this country we spend billions on PREVENTATIVE measures to help our people understand the issues revolving around smoking, overeating, under-eating, drinking when driving etc, the list is endless... EXCEPT FOR THE DANGERS OF EXCESS GAMBLING!

Things were different and certainly on a different scale a few years back. Because if you wanted to partake in any gambling event... YOU HAD TO GO THERE.... DURING THE HOURS IT OPENED.

Now with the Internet & interactive television, mobile phones it can be accessed everywhere 24/7 from ANY AGE (please don't write back about the so called age limits.... because we have all seen & replied to children on this very site)

The amount of 'in your face' advertising is also ridiculous.... God forbid a brand of cigarettes advertises sport... oh no we cant have that says our government.... but bingo, poker etc appears to be OK to be rammed down our throats 24/7!

I fully expect to get this post or in fact this whole thread removed but these are such important issues that I hope it is allowed to remain.

A massive thank you to all staff here for what you do on the forum, netline and 'behind scenes' A hard but worthwhile job I'm sure. This post is in no way a snipe at your good selves.

Yes, as Rusty mentions you run well & could alway use more funds for this ever growing area in which you work.

The money you receive from the industry is not enough and I am not naive enough to know that this money also comes with somewhat protective guidelines/boundaries for you to work within. Meanwhile the governments involvement is just enough to clear there concience... without losing too much revenue!

Thank you for reading this (and no I don't need to talk to anyone 😉 lol )

Jackie

Jac, can i firstly say thank you for your post. I dont tend to post on here nowadays but there a few people i like to keep an eye on and you are one of those so thank you for the reminder.

I can assure you that at no time have you ever offended me in any of your posts. I have total respect for you and Jim and your experiences and actions in life.

Lifes been a bit up and down for me but im still clean and ill post a bit more in my own diary.

Needless to say, i wish you all the very best for 2009 and hope it brings you both much happiness and joy.

Keith xx

Jac

I have never posted on your diary before and the reasons for my posting now is as way of an apology

I know that I shouldn't have used Ostrich's diary for my rants at Grazzle unfortunately it appears that, it was the only diary he was visiting.. I do hope however that you can see that the messages that I post are sincere and not ment to offend. In fact I was actually trying to support Ostrich maybe I worded my post badly

I take great strength from knowing that we have non-gamblers on this site and I am always pleased when they post onto my diary (regardless of what they may say )

Thanks again Danm

Hi Danm,

No apology needed, my friend. Have posted on your diary.