Hi
I am a non religious person.
For me the recovery progam was a very slow healthy healing of my pains.
The healing of my pains was of the hurt inner child in me.
Each time I went back to gambling I needed to understand each of my emotional triggers.
How long would it take me to learn to articulate and understand my emotional triggers.
Today I understand my emotional triggers are where my pains not healed, my fears not faced, and my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, my feelings of loneliness and boredom.
Why did I last gamble, what was my last emotional trigger and how can I learn from it?
By me facing my last emotional trigger I would learn how to process my feelings in a much healthier way.
My anger was due to be my pains not healed, my fears not faced, and my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
For me I could be outward angry, and I could also be suppressive aggressive.
Being in recovery I would have an understanding my unhealthy reactions caused me many pains.
For me the recovery progam was going to help me interact in healthy ways to people life and situations.
Rather than react in such unhealthy ways.
I use to want to blame every ne and every thing for how I use to react in such unhealthy ways.
Was I a victim in my child hood days. Yes for sure.
Did I want to remain teh victim of my own cruelty and self abuse towardsmyself.
The addictions and obsessions were forms of escape and self abuse.
Being consumed by my addictions and obsessions I wasting lots of my time and money.
Yet in recovery I would understand wasting money was wasting my time.
Once debts were paid off I was left with more choices in my life.
For me the recovery progam was going to help me understand that I was my own worst enemy.
For me the recovery progam was going to help me understand that I neded toheal my pains, learn to love my self, learn to respect myself, learn to not beat my sef up, learn to be kind an gentletowards my self.
How much do I want to healthy today.
Do I want to be my own worst enemy, or want to be my own best freind today.
How much time and effort am I willing to invst in to my self today.
Am I willing to write down my needs today.
Am I willing to write down my wants today.
Am I willing to write down my goals today.
Just for today only I will not gamble.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK
Hi
It took me some time to increase my meetings to more than one meeting per week.
I like many peple did no understand that only by abstaining could the healing of my pains start to happen.
By sharing by openeing up I was able to see and feel myself in other people pains.
In time there were times I had clarities and focus and lived for that day in full.
I started to plan my days and feel like a was a free person able to make much healthier choices each day.
There was far less times of me being idle which made my life both busier and more self sufficient.
Once I understood my emotional triggers I was abale to live a much healthier choices.
Regards Dave L
Hi
I am a non religious person.
I am a man who has been in the recovery program since 1969 that is over 52 years.
Would I be the person I am today if I did not attend all those meetings.
Was I a victim as a child, yes for sure, did the pains and trauma cause me to want to escape from my feelings and emotions yes for sure.
The addictions and obsessions were very much adrenaline and fear based.
Did I think I could run away from my past.
Did I think I that by getting some thing for nothing made me succssful.
Did I think I that by getting some thing cheap made me succssful.
Who did I need to get honest to before I could heal the hurt inner child in me.
My emotional triggers were pains I could not heal.
My emotional triggers were fears I could not face.
My emotional triggers were unreasonable expectations ofpeople life and situatins I could not reduce.
My emotional triggers were my feelings of loneliness and isolation.
My emotional triggers were my feelings of boredom because I felt emotionally stunted.
I also found that my physical age and emotional age didnotmatch up.
The biggest impact on my recovery was my honesty, my therapies and being able to reduce my fears.
No matter when my last was going to meetings was the healthiest place for me to be.
Often peoople will abstain from gambling or another unhealthyhabit only toescape in other ways.
Like watching excessive television, playing computer games or just wasting time and hiding.
How honest I get is all up to me, I needed to admit to my self I was unhealthy.
To take each of my unhealthy habits and exchange them in to healthy habits.
The most precious things in my life is healthy relationships and time.
Once I understand I was living in so many fearswhat was I going to do about them.
In healing my pains I am set free.
That inner child comes out to play and wants to dosomemuch more with his life.
At this moment I am in Las Vegas with my wife, and as I walk around I see my self in those lost people.
The lights are on in those people but it looks like no one is in.
Lost pain filled people who think they can get some thing for nothing.
Today I am not a loner, I do not feel like I am not connected to people.
I am make mistakes, I still lose things, I still forget things, yet I am less likely tobeat my self up.
Some people might even think that if they are rich they would be happy, for me that was a deception.
Money would not heal my hurt inner child.
Money would not help my hurt inner child to love him self.
Money would not remove the fears of my hurt inner child.
Money only gives me more choices.
I could not respect other people untill I learned to resect myself.
I could not love other people untill I learned to love myself.
I could not trust other people untill I trusted myself.
I could not be patient and tolerant with other people untill I was patient and tolerant with myself.
Healing takes time, reducing my fears take time, reducing my emotional triggers take time.
I could not trust my self with money so by handing over it over to another person made it so much easier for me.
Being given a certain amount each day felt like I was being treated like a little child, yet it was the safest way for me.
Before my recovery I did not value relatonships money or value myself.
How much do people want to be healthy today.
How much do people want to heal their pains today.
Love and peace to everyone.
Dave L
AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK
Hi
The times I got angry indicated that the hurt inner child in me was not healed.
The times I got angry was the my pains that were not healed.
The times I got angry was the my fears that were not faced.
The times I got angry was due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
My unhealthy reactions indicated the hurt inner child in me was not healed.
When I had unhealthy reactions I would transfer my pains my fears and frsutrations on to the people I was suppose to love and protect.
I now enjoy each day with out feeling I need to escape in unhealthy ways.
Fears reduced I am now abale to have healthy intimate realtionship with my self and my family.
Love healing and peace to everyone
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham UK
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