The Devil on my shoulders

Wow - just had a massive urge to gamble out of know where . Voice in my head telling me to go big - chuck my last 500 on a 5-1 football result - was so tempted ! Think of the winnings it will help solve your debt problems ! I fought it and rationalised it but it was tough - I don't know where that came from - I think the block on b****5 website ran out the other day and the subconscious in my mind knows it ! - I thought it would be okay test myself - it isn't okay - block is going straight back on - that was a horrible feeling

Good on you great job. Remeber we can't win as we can't stop.

Stay Strong Stay G/f

Malc

50 days gamble free today !

I didn't think I would get this far 50 days ago so yes I am pleased but I think only now am I realising the enormity of what I have done to myself and my family

If I'm honest the debt situation is getting me down and it's what I'm trying to focus on resolving at the moment I hope in another 50 days time I'm writing to say I'm in a happier more positive place than I am now . Nothing about this journey is easy and I have had some really close shaves getting to 50 days - for once I named the thread correctly 'the devil is always on my shoulders' and fortunately at the moment I'm well aware of it .

On my introduction thread I introduced that I loved gambling - looking back I couldn't be more wrong - I have compared it to being in an abusive relationship because it beats you up and you can't see the destruction it causes you - Christ I even now yearn for it ! How scarey is that.

Anyway I don't want to be all doom and gloom 50 days is an achievement and I'm in a better place than I was that's for sure. I wish everyone all the best and remember the devil is always on your shoulder but you can knock it off every single day !

50 days a massive well done the next 50 will fly in you will see.

Well done

Stay Strong Stay G/f

Malc

Thanks Malkie - as ever I really appreciate your support. Genuinely couldn't have done it without your support . Here's to you reaching 50 to - I know you can do it

All the best

Well done on the 50 days. I am sure once you have sorted a plan for dealing with your debt, you will feel more settled. Keep going one day at a time.

Thanks Rhoda really appreciate it - you're absolutely right I must get on top of this debt situation once and for all then I think things will be a little clearer. Thanks for the support 🙂

50 days - brilliant!!! It's a difficult path to walk with many hazards along the way but with the use of determination and perseverance the scenery just gets better and better!! Xx

Thank you LML appreciate the support - I really do feel better than 50 days ago - all the best to you .

Hi pwm.

Just wanted to say a big well done on what we see as a milestone on here and getting to 50 days g.f. Hope you have been kind to yourself today and rewarded this achievement with something nice for you. No matter how small.

Take care and continue to march forward.

Our Lady.

Thank you Our Lady for your kind words - does a kit Kat count as a treat ? Ha ha . All the best to you

It most certainly does! Anything (besides gambling), that brings a smile to your face counts. Be kind to yourself today.

Our Lady.

Wow - Cheltenham Gold Cup day and I can't have a bet ! Days like this hurt and really bring home how much I ruined myself how far over the line I went . I used to love gold cup day enjoying the build up - picking my horse etc... and now nothing because it's what I deserve as a stupid compulsive gambler who takes everything to far until it's all gone . Maybe in years to come I can enjoy it again and even place a wager like a normal person but for now I know I can't as I can't be trusted .its a shame I've ruined it for myself and I don't expect many non horse racing fans to understand that but it does make me sad - anyway noes not the time to wollow in self pity. It's going to be a tough day but the prize will be not wasting any money and making it to 60 days GF

Appointment with a debt management company today - let's hope I can get a proper debt plan sorted as I really feel like it's holding me back at the moment

Good on you Pwm101, only way to deal with things is face on no more hiding in the bookies or behind false hope of that "BIG WIN".

Good on you for taking the bull by the horns and getting things sorted out, it will be well worth it in the end.

Stay Strong Stay G/f.

Malc