The Devil on my shoulders

Thanks Malkie

Would be good to get this side of the problem sorted so I can focus on making regular payments and just not gambling rather than trying to keep the wolf from the door financially. I'll let you know how it goes

Morning PWm101,

How's things going? Did you get to your meeting with your debt managment company?

Hopefully you ahev managed to get things sorted out.

Stay Strong Stay G/f

Malc

Thanks Malc - yep it's a long process and I'm considering my options (which arnt many ha ha) just got a lot of paperwork to get together - just don't want to put my house under any risk you know . Anyway fingers crossed and should have some news next week 🙂

Stay GF . Day 65 🙂

God Boredom is a killer I must remember this - need to stay active and engaged with life . If I get bored my mind wanders and when it wanders it wanders to gambling - missing a buzz or a rush of excitement- the adrenaline of placing a bet . Think im missing that thrill it's hard to replace but replace it I must . Need to remember that along with the thrill is a whole load of grief that isn't worth it . Really is a massive change in mind set that is so hard to stick to .

Day 66 GF

Snap Pwm101,

I wrote a post early stating about new hobbies base jumping, sky diving it would not matter I would still be bored, I have decided it is called life, standard old boring life.

Anyway like you say just do anything else other than gambling.

Stay Strong Stay G/f

Malc

I dont think its life. If that is our lot without gambling, take me outside & shoot me now. You maybe describing a life without purpose, intimate connections or satisfaction. But that isnt life, unless you choose it to be.

Thanks for popping in on my thread Pwm101. Looks like we are both singing for the same hymnsheet there. We know we could try, but we know we'd ultimately fail. My counselor asked me what I do now when those thoughts enter my head and I said I basically look at it like I would anything in business, as a cost v. benefit analysis. What are the (possible) costs to gambling? Just for starters, loss of family/time/money, feeling guilty, lying, cheating. What are the benefits? I might win and I might get a very short buzz.

I mean, it's not an equation that takes much working out is it?

Keep at it!

Long journey down to Bournemouth from Manchester lot of time to think. First thing I was thinking is what a difference a long train journey is used to spend hours trying to get bets on horse races while desperately hoping for a 3G signal - I could lose £300 in an hour long journey - bonkers ! Anyway a mad way to spend ones time . Looked over my diary instead and happy I've come a long way in 70 days . It's not easy I think about it all the time still but my mind seems to have put its own block up on gambling at the mo as well. Gunna tell my parents tonight - dreading it for the embarrassment more than anything . I know they won't look at me in the same way anymore and that's going to be hard to take . But I need to talk and can't bottle it I need help. re-read the article on Joshua Jones (see link earlier in my diary)and it made me realise I need to talk and carry on .

On a lighter note on a two day work conference in Bournemouth guess what the entertainment is on the first day 'a night at the races' ! Ha ha - think I'll take myself to the bar for that one !

All the best

Start of another month - a dangerous time for us gamblers. With payday the temptation is always there. However I have little access to cash as most of my wage is going on paying off debt plus I have the blocks in place on the websites.

It really is a massive help to have little access to cash and have blocks in place . I know us gamblers are sneaky and devious and if we can get round it we will but at least it would take a hell of an effort. You've got to make it difficult at least .

Tough month - full football programme and the grand national but I feel good - I'm very aware that one bet will lead to a world of destruction and disappointment and at the moment I just don't want to do that . Good luck to everyone - let's make the month of April gamble free.

74 days GF

I gave up smoking several years ago. (Some may say I have an addictive personality! Ha ha! ) Was just thinking of the differences. I think giving up gambling is sooo much harder . Both have there physical and mental elements but gambling is much more in the mind .

The main thing that strikes me is if I don't want cigarette I just don't buy one from a newsagent but with gambling the way adverts and bookies are the fact you can access your phone 24/7 it's like someone offering you a cigarette all the time while you're giving up ! How mad is that . If people were offering me cigs while I was in the early stages of giving up I would have taken them or punched the person offering it me ha ha .

I guess there is temptation everywhere it's just with gambling it's an almost daily struggle to say no . So much harder to give up gambling as your fighting that temptation every day . Much respect to those that overcome it

Hi PWM, was just wondering how telling your parents went...you said that they wouldn't look at you in the same way, my immediate thought was 'well at least they will be getting the real you, and not a facade'. You are doing great, keep going, one day at a time.

Hi Rhoda.

Yeah it went well with my parents thanks . I kinda left just feeling ashamed and embarrassed about stupid I've been and I will always have to live with that but I guess that's just part of the recovery and accepting that I'm flawed and occasionally I need help .

Hope your okay to - all the best

Feeling vulnerable with this weekend coming up . Such a massive weekend for sport particularly with the national . My brain is saying what's the harm place a bet everyone does on the national but I know deep down it's so dangerous . Think I've just got to keep myself busy and focus on feeling good on Sunday that I didn't place a bet . 80 days today GF and I'm desperate to make it to 100 don't want to jeopardise that .

This weekend could be the hardest yet

Pwm101,

Don't dare place a bet why would you even think that 80days and you think this weekend is the hardest don't be so f***** stupid what have the past 80days been they have been tough but you made it and you will make it to 100 only 20days to go piece of cake.

Keep busy dont even think about it and before you know it, it will be monday and you will be 3 days closer to 100.

Rant over

Stay Strong Stay G/f

Malc

Cheers Malc I know you're right I just have to be honest about my thoughts and it does still have a hold on me - crazy isn't it .

It's just a horse race for crying out loud ! Why do I feel like I'm missing out . Anyway I won't bet and your right gotta get my head down look at the bigger picture and be happier come Monday