The Devil on my shoulders

Yeah and that is all they are and ever will be thoughts, and the longer we go the less they get, and you know what yeah you might choose a horse that wins at 15/1 with £200 on the nose to win, but there is the other side of the tail that you place about 5 or 10 bets to cover yourself and none of them win or even get placed then you are about £1k down and totally P****d off come monday or take the easy option the winning way do nothing and come monday be the same not won not lost just the same.

You know as well as I do if you place that bet and it wins you will want more and it will start all over again, if you place the bet and you lose you will chase it to try and get your money back and starts all over again.

As you said head down get past the weekend Monday will be 83 days roll on 100.

Oh by the way my shoe size is 12 dare place that bet and you will spend the next two weeks pulling my foot from your a*s.

Hahahahaha

Malc

Hi Pwm.

The Grand National is in my hometown so I have grown up with it. I have been tuning into it but only to "watch". It's whether or not we feel comfortable with doing this in our recovery journey and I do. I agree with Malc though, I myself have just been viewing it as "just a horse race and someone will win and then the rest will lose"! I also remind myself that by just watching, I will win anyway - much better not placing a bet and keeping hold of my money, than placing a bet and then wondering/stressing whether or not I am going to win or start the downward spiral once more. Just not worth it in my opinion.

The days will come and go and it would be good and helpful if you can just see it as that. You have done fantastic so far and believe you me, take it from experience, you will be gutted if you have to go back to day one again.

Stay strong and keep thinking of your longer term goals rather than "just that one bet". I am rooting for you.

Our Lady

Thanks Our Lady and Malc - both fantastic bits of advice and have genuinely made me feel better about it all . And Malc a size 12 blimey - I'm not messing with you 🙂

Hi pwm, thanks for popping onto my diary. I am having fewer urges to gamble, but if I think I may be at all tempted I leave the house without cash and cards; I know my triggers. Don't let yourself be tempted tomorrow....it really is not worth it. When I sat with my friend on the slots last week, I knew that if I touched the machine, or money, my resolve would break. Touch nothing tomorrow that may lead to a bet...I will be looking out for your post saying you are gf. Best wishes.

That.... was a very tough weekend . Toughest I've had since I've stop . Loads of sport - the grand national weighed heavy on my mind all day on Saturday - the horse I thought would win didn't do that helped ease my mood . But it was frightung how much the temption is still there. Blocks in place worked and eventually my will not to gamble won out . Did feel sorry for myself and was asking why everyone else could do it and I couldn't like a spoilt little brat ! - sooo childish .

Anyway didn't gamble - head down carry on get to 100 days

Good on ya,

Best result of the weekend see we can do, and this time next year you will not even notice it was there.

Good on ya Pwm101 great start to the week.

Not winning not losing = normal

Stay Strong Stay G/f

Malc

Stolen from Captain but wanted it in my diary as a reminder :

Gambling does not bring me pleasure.
Gambling destroyed my happiness and damaged my health and my relationships.
Gambling made me do things that I would not normally do.
It affected my personality and my values.
I have debts because of gambling.
I may have won sometimes, but I have nothing to show for it.
Each win is just a set up for a fall. A win makes me think it is easy to win again, so all I do is give the money back and end up chasing my losses.
Winning only keeps me locked in the cycle of losing. If I can let go of my losses, and accept what I have done, I can move forward.
If I cannot accept my losses, I will keep myself in this trap forever.
I will not listen to the voices that tell me to gamble.
If I gamble, I will likely lose. If I win, I will only give it back. There is no point in prolonging this anymore. I want to let it go.

Gambling made me weak, it made me feel that I am nothing without it, like I can’t go through life without leaning on it, and turning to it when things get tough.
Gambling stole away my time, my money and my life.
If I let it, gambling will steal away my future.
I will not let that happen.
I can change this.

I am better than this and I deserve to be happy.
I am in control of my own life and my own choices.
I can choose not to gamble.

I am stronger without gambling.
I do not need it.
I am freeing myself from this horrible addiction. I am not giving up something fun, because it has harmed me.
Without gambling I am free to enjoy life.
I will not gamble again because I choose happiness.

90 days gamble free - in my mind 3 months on. Good luck to everyone else going through this journey . It's really tough but you CAN beat it . All the best

Hi Pwm101,
I've just read through a few of your posts and want to congratulate you on your 90 days gf!!
It's not an easy road we walk but you are doing a fantastic job and I hope you are noticing changes for the better with each passing day.
Captains verse certainly hits a nerve.
I look forward to seeing you achieve 100 days.
All good wishes x

97 days woop party on Thursday 100days get in there well done nae easy mate but it has to be done and you are doing a great job I am not far behind you and that is the way it will stay.

Again great job.

Stay Strong Stay G/f

Malc

So here I am 100 days gamble free ! 🙂 feels good . Thanks to everyone on the gamcare website and to anyone who's ever posted on my diary in particular Malkie who I know is coming up to 100 soon enough: I have taken a lot of strength from all your posts .

It's a funny feeling reaching 100 days - I post less know as it has got easier and I think about gambling less and less . Although I think in the early days it is vital to post all the time . Definitely early on you have to just make it through 24 hours a week etc.., the amount of people I have read about failing recently has both depressed and inspired me to carry on .

Finally I'm totally aware I'm not over any of this I still have thought and urges and my debts are horrendous and unsorted 100 days later ! It will take time . Hopefully not gambling will be the norm - I'm definitely calmer and I sleep better at night - but maybe more than ever I'm aware the devil is always on my shoulder.

All the best

Well done on 100 days

Well done, what a achievement that is 100days I feel like I have made it too 100days with you, I take my hat off to you 100days who would have thought that 60days ago.

Like you say life is calmer sleeping eating working, happy about the little things in life. Like you say the debts are still there and will take time to move them but at least it is all going the right way.

I agree with you about posting less now that you are at 100 days, I feel the same but in the early days you need to be on this site for support and to write things down before it happens.

And again you are right the devil will always be there watch and ready to pounce, but you know what we are stronger and better people it will not happen.

Anyway great stuff and good to see you are still moving forward, keep posting now and again so we all now you are still kicking.

Stay Strong Stay G/f

Malc

Whoop Whoop 100 days! Well done!!!
Long may it continue, all good wishes for the future x

Hi everyone . Just checking in . All good - 129 days now gf . Still get urges but maybe not as strong as they used to be . Glad the football season is ending - takes away a huge temptation for me . Had a dream about winning money gambling last night so I'm very conscious not to get complacent about my recovery . Hope everyone is staying strong . Think we've got lovely weather for the weekend . Let's go outside and enjoy it and not be stuck indoors tied to a laptop or a phone gambling - that now sounds like a horrendous way to spend a day !

All the best