The hardest confession

Hi diary

i sit here on Friday night with my little nugget by my side contemplating the best week I have had in a very long time! It has been filled with positivity and a spring in my step, what a lovely place to be!

i am starting to do things that bring out the best in me rather than the worst, and doing all the things that I used to enjoy doing before the devil of gambling took over my life.

any urges that I had in the first two weeks GF have now disappeared, dark thoughts which once were prevalent have also disappeared too!

it was only a short time ago that I was unaware this feeling in life still existed! I was too busy bemoaning my luck and chasing ridiculous losses!

i have a calmness about myself now and am thinking about what the future could bring for me and my family, again, what a lovely place to be!

special mention to my wife at this point, she could have pushed me away upon confessing and I would have understood! But she pulled me closer! I will forever remember that! having her support so far has been invaluable, and whilst I have learned more about myself and who I am, I think we have learned more about our marriage and how we can maximise it.

so tomorrow at midnight I will hit 3 weeks GF, still a way to go in order to beat my previous PB but boy does it feel good to have made it this far!

my most sincerest thanks to all of you in the GamCare community!

i wish you all a lovely weekend.

kram

Day 23 GF

I find myself feeling extremely contented with life at the moment, I used to wake up thinking about gambling, now I do not.

my days are relatively normal and straightforward now, minimal stress, maximum enjoyment. I am seeing a visible improvement in my family life as a result of quitting gambling.

i have been guilty of not reading my self help book the last week, mainly because I’ve felt no need to, although I know in order to help myself I must complete it.

I started a new role at work today and felt as if I adopted a new attitude as a result, and quitting gambling made this so much easier.

my wife is still being amazing as ever, and I try to show gratitude for that.

i know this isn’t the most interesting thing in the world to read, but it’s just me keeping a track of my progress, hopefully my upward trajectory will continue?

Kram

Kram, 

Reading about progress is wonderful. Normal days do become special because we see them differently. Don't give up on the self help book, there are always new things to learn. 

Lovely to see you so content ?

I currently find myself in a situation where I no longer write on this diary or go on chat every day.

whilst I think this is a good thing I kinda feel bad for not being as supportive to others as I could be.

i have today completed 26 days gamble free and life is still really good!

i hope that all who read this are having as successful a journey as I am?

i know I still have a long way to go.

kram

Kram.. If it helps your recovery to do it this way great.. Of course you are missed on chat... And its nice to catch up on your diary. 

Well done on your gf days.. Stay strong 

Don't stay away too long 

Boo ?

Posted by: kramllewop

I currently find myself in a situation where I no longer write on this diary or go on chat every day.

whilst I think this is a good thing I kinda feel bad for not being as supportive to others as I could be.

i have today completed 26 days gamble free and life is still really good!

i hope that all who read this are having as successful a journey as I am?

i know I still have a long way to go.

 

kram

It's okay to do whatever you need to be gamble free and happy. I will say that you've helped me and I feel bad for others that you aren't around to help. It's not a guilt trip. I just want you to think about how you would feel if others hadn't been around when you joined. I think we get alot when we share our journey with others. 

That is all. 

Drama x

Hi Kram,

The most important thing is that its your recovery. On this site support comes in many shapes and forms. Sometimes we can go "missing" for hours, days, weeks. Doesnt matter.

We are all together in this.

Best

Posted by: DramaLlama

Posted by: kramllewop

I currently find myself in a situation where I no longer write on this diary or go on chat every day.

whilst I think this is a good thing I kinda feel bad for not being as supportive to others as I could be.

i have today completed 26 days gamble free and life is still really good!

i hope that all who read this are having as successful a journey as I am?

i know I still have a long way to go.

 

kram

It's okay to do whatever you need to be gamble free and happy. I will say that you've helped me and I feel bad for others that you aren't around to help. It's not a guilt trip. I just want you to think about how you would feel if others hadn't been around when you joined. I think we get alot when we share our journey with others. 

That is all. 

Drama x

Drama

1. It is so nice to hear that I have somehow managed to help you on your journey, we are both doing well between us.

2. I really understand the point you are making, when I have noticed people ‘disappear’ it has caused me worry, perhaps unwarranted, but worry and concern all the same, and I suppose it works both ways?

as a result I will try and post in my diary every day, as I’ve come to realise that even if what I write makes zero sense to me, it may make a HUGE difference to someone else.

All of the above is said with the best intentions.

Kram

Hi diary

Day 27 GF and still I feel really good!

i no longer dwell on the past, just embrace every day for what it is!

my relationship with my daughter seems to have dramatically improved, not that it was bad beforehand, but there has been a noticeable change.

putting solid bans in place and confessing what I am to my wife has really made the difference for me, knowing that urges cannot be acted upon means that should they appear, they are quickly dismissed, and more important matters can come to the forefront of my mind.

stay safe people

Kram

Kram, lovely to see you posting and content. 4 weeks tomorrow mate. Where has time gone!

The time has gone into the things most important, family.

That makes me smile ?

Posted by: Murlo

That makes me smile ?

It actually made me smile, and feel proud whilst writing it.

thanks murlo

Posted by: kramllewop

Posted by: DramaLlama

Posted by: kramllewop

I currently find myself in a situation where I no longer write on this diary or go on chat every day.

whilst I think this is a good thing I kinda feel bad for not being as supportive to others as I could be.

i have today completed 26 days gamble free and life is still really good!

i hope that all who read this are having as successful a journey as I am?

i know I still have a long way to go.

 

kram

It's okay to do whatever you need to be gamble free and happy. I will say that you've helped me and I feel bad for others that you aren't around to help. It's not a guilt trip. I just want you to think about how you would feel if others hadn't been around when you joined. I think we get alot when we share our journey with others. 

That is all. 

Drama x

Drama

1. It is so nice to hear that I have somehow managed to help you on your journey, we are both doing well between us.

2. I really understand the point you are making, when I have noticed people ‘disappear’ it has caused me worry, perhaps unwarranted, but worry and concern all the same, and I suppose it works both ways?

as a result I will try and post in my diary every day, as I’ve come to realise that even if what I write makes zero sense to me, it may make a HUGE difference to someone else.

All of the above is said with the best intentions.

Kram

Your spirit and enthusiasm when I was at a low point lifted me. 

I gambled the day before you. My friends on the forum were celebrating milestones and I was (what I thought) back to square one. You helped me realise through your thoughts and actions that I just needed to work on my barriers and my honesty with my Hubby and I did alsorts of stuff out of being inspired. 

You may believe your contribution is small and matters not but you came along at just the very right time for me. 

I am 28 days gamble free and super grateful for all the support I've had to be in this happy place. 

Love from 

Drama 

xoxoxox

Drama.

Ever so sorry for my delayed response to this, I found it very humbling to read, and appreciate your honesty.

To know that I have inspired you and that I came along at just the right time makes me feel very good about myself, I couldn’t have got this far without the gamcare community.

As I said above I will try to be a bit more vocal and post in diary every day.

Kram