Afternoon friend, the smile on my face today has everything to do with the beauty of a rest day...It's what you Monday to Friday-ers call a weekend only better because they happen when the streets & queues for the tills are much quieter 🙂
It's good that people know @ work because it's another level of honesty but I'm not going to fight with getting it out there. They can know but they don't need to, I was the complete opposite to you & I'm pretty sure some won't believe me but it is what it is eh 🙁
Unusually I woke up in London last night after yet another plan came to fruition...I remember now why I could never live here again, there are people & cars EVERYWHERE, even @ 11 a.m.
I imagine there's some tortured soul who had enough of life on their way up to the pearly gates now since no trains are running out of Euston but I'm on my way home (albeit very slowly & unsurely) & for that I am truly grateful.
Don't forget to keep a sheet of 'busy paper' in your mitts @ all times as you while away the rest of the week 😉 I know you're not milking anyone, you earn your pennies!
Our minds have a lot to answer for & us too for believing them so long but forwards we go now - ODAAT
Thanks Kelly. Really loved the post. Failed miserably though. Walked around all day with the "busy" file in my hand not just the "busy" paper. Problem is work followed me no matter where I went and as hard as I tried to sit on my a-r-s-e and just do nothing, I kept having to get involved and ended up having the most productive day which is really annoying!
Happy weekend! I have to write up one quotation for another victim and can then set off on the hike through the urban farm to my car (roadworks have closed the access to our office car park).
Tomorrow, morning football training with the boy and afternoon orchestra concert with the girl.
Sunday, mother's day slap up meal at Harvester with the family and afternoon drive into the countyside.
I just remember that I have a packet of Cola Bottles sitting on the back seat of my car and so it is with a heavy heart and a watering mouth that I bid you all adieu.
Markman 73DGF Still
A bright day here in West London with no prospect of it being darkened by addiction. Work hard; play had. That is the word.
Markman 76DGF
Well done Markman,
A great run you are on and it is clear to see you are reaping the benefits at work and at home. Keep it up one day at a time, a very inspiring read.
Many thaks for the words of encouragement Paul - more appreciated than you you can know.
I am grateful for where I am right now. I am stuck in the office - but at leastI have a job; I am a little bored - but at least not in pain; I would be happier at home with my family - but at least I have one. I am fortunate that I can relax at my desk and have a cup of tea and watch West London bathe in bright sunlight. I have no intrerest in money. I have no interest gambling that is for sure. I need to hold onto this moment.
Markman 77DGF
Early to bed (for me). Lying awake as a result. Watching repeats of Family Guy. Getting wound up by the adverts. How I miss BBC3.
No thoughts of gambling. Remembering creeping out to the car at 2am a few years ago to get my charger for the phone and struggling to plug it in without waking my wife and then trying all my credit cards hoping that one would have an available £5 for one drop in the ocean chasing bet.
My thoughts are with those poor souls vainly scratching and foraging for a bet when they should be resting their minds and body.
And now American Dad...
Amen to that Mark, keep it going day by day you are doing great. Much of your diary strikes a chord with me as it isn't just financially and emotionally a disaster when we gamble but it destroys family plans and causes constant stress and consternation as it disrupts even the simplest of plans. I remember taking an hour to go for a pint of milk and trying to make up ridiculous excuses to cover my behaviour. We are in a better place now.
Stay safe and strong
Paulds
And so I have suffered the bulk of the dark winter months without seeking comfort in the bosom of my addiction.
Spring is well and truly upon us and as the days grow longer and brighter; so my hope and confidence in the way ahead shines.
Markman 87GDF
I just had to share this satirical piece from The Daily Mash. Never was there more truth in jest:
Warning: Contains a Few Swear Words
It is definitely true - the bookies are only in it to take your money - entertainment value does not come into it!
Very apt ..and sadly very true..
I suppose the bookies hope for newbies to get some wins....so they can lure them into the serious betters category. ...which in turn leads on to the addicts categories. ...which most probabally is the bookies favorites..
Very true. Blooming.punters getting in the way of my FOBT and asking daft questions like "are you winning"
Oh my, the clobber I used to wear in the joints, makes me shudder to think...I remember standing in there one day all camel's hoof & VPL, in attire that should not be seen on grown women full stop nevermind outside of a gym. I was almost self conscious momentarily but staff aside, there wasn't anyone in there remotely interested in my rear end! Had to pop round to a building site afterwards to make sure I still 'had it' 😉
Don't get too hung up on your approaching milestone, it's a great one but it's only a stepping stone to your future so let it slide quietly by if you need to. It's like a birthday, it doesn't matter if you celebrate it or not, it still happens & as you know, with age comes wisdom!
Kelly, I used to go into the bookies in my slippers - at any time of day. I realy did not care how dishevelled I looked as long as I made my daily charitable contribution to the bookies - that is the very essence of "The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists!"
I cannot lie, I am looking forward to that big milestone next week, but my celebration will be muted, like scoring your teams only goal in a 5-1 loss!
"The Century" is what I inially targetted and I wholly expected myself to be back betting on the cricket - a new reformed recreational gambler by now. But we both know that will not happen.
The urges at day 90 are just as strong as at day 1. When you have gambled day and night for 12 years straight it takes more than 100 days of abstinence to retrain your brain and remove every trace of the old habit and routine.
I have restructured my expectations and recovery goals. I am no longer targetting a specific number of days for recovery to be complete. I may never recover and in all likeliness I will always be in recovery.
The success, so far as my recovery is concerned, is no longer measured in days of abstinence, but rather the ways in which my life has improved.
I still have much work to do so even when that counter reaches 100, I need to go on as though it is at 0.
Markman 90DGF
Hey Markman.
Just wanted to say thank you for your post and a big well done too on you almost at the 100 day mark.
Take care and remain strong and focused.
Our Lady
Hi Markman,
Chat indeed takes a bit of getting used to. I dont always contribute much. Not because i am being rude but as an aged one finger typist it takes a bit to keep up.
It can be social as you converse with the same people daily. The topics have moved from gambling to alcohol and drugs recently but its all about addiction in whatever form it presents itself.
I wish you well
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
