The road to recovery...84 months on.

gazza. Fella you are doing soo much better than "ok" my friend you are doing fantastic! Keep making that choice gazza! Well done from me. Inspired. Duncs compulsive gambler no bet today.

Day 122

Thanks Dunc for your kind words.

keeping busy with family stuff.

trying to get some degree of fitness but this is proving to be difficult.

Wish the sun would shine!

Day 123 and 124

At GA meeting last night.

Very useful meeting.

I feel i must attend theses meetings as they never let me forget what i've done but can help me to get better, and so,never gamble again.

Accountability and humility in equal doses

Hope everyone is well

Day 125 and 126 (18 weeks)

I read somewhere that we should try to enjoy our recovery.

Personally i can find no real enjoyment in my recovery.

Obviously i'm pleased that i don't gamble but other than that it''s humiliating.

i know it's hard and so it should be, but the guilt and self-loathing won't go away.

When i attend my GA meetings it's a constant reminder of what i've done and in some ways that is a good thing but in others it's depressing.

Maybe i'm down because Andy lost today at wimbledon.

Keep the chin up Gaz. Your doing great. I don't know for sure but I'm guessing the guilt and urges etc will go away the longer your free off this horrible thing.

And yes very disapointing to see Andy lose. Although one good think came out of the match. I was able to cheer someone on today without wanting to bet on them... Amazing feeling.

Day 127

Thanks RT89 for your post.

i think the difficult thing is, looking in the eye, every day, the people you love and have let down through the gambling.

I have no urges to gamble which is good.

Maybe some of the guilt will go in time. I suppose it's still early into my recovery.

Hope everyone is well

Day 129 and 129

Getting on with stuff.

Day 130

More of the same.

Keeping going although i've had to miss tonight's GA meeting.

Day 131

I'm doing fine.

I'm sure my spirits will lift when the sun shines. At least it's not raining.

Hope everyone is well

Day132

A difficult week on many fronts has passed-thank goodness.

Going to try and get on with the simple things in life.

Hope everybody has a good weekend

Experiencing the simple things in life is good.

Far, far better than the stress that gambling WILL cause.

132 days is brilliant, long may this continue!

NT

Day 133 (19 weeks)

Thanks NT for your wise words.

More of the same today.

Hope everyone is well

Gazza.

19 weeks gamble free my friend,to think you would if at it be in a much darker place. You should be very proud fella you are making the right choice every day. Well done.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 134 and 135

Thanks Dunc.

I hate myself for what i've done.

I constantly think about it and it gets in the way of a normal life.

Don't know what to do. Every step forward there's a step back.

I'll give myself a shake and that might help!

Day 136,137 and 138.

Some wise words spoken at GA last night.

Feeling bit more positve about things.

This has been helped with the love and support from my partner and children.

They are my World and i love them with all my heart.

Hope everybody has a happy weekend