Evening GT
Taking strength from other people's diaries.
Be glad when march is over-some highs but many lows.
Day 20
I went for a walk last night to clear my head and to take stock of my situation.
The guilt i feel is still massive and preys heavily on my mind-i really wish i could sort out the financial difficulties quickly but I can't.
Emotionally i feel raw and am all over the place.
Was thinking "Am I in a better place than i was 19 days ago?"-the answer is yes so that must be a good thing.
This road to being gamble free will take a long time,probably for the rest of my life-i must face up to this,stay strong and be focused.
Sorry if this is a bit doom and gloom but it's how I feel at the present.
I will take strength from others'diaries as the make great progress and are spending their time doing the better things in life-that WILL be me soon.
Have a good day/weekend everybody
gazza.
the honeymoon period is over for you fella,it was novel giving up for two weeks I know it was not long ago i was there to, but keep taking stock fella each day you do not gamble you are a better person for it and today is day 60 for me,yes i still have debt but it does not grow,if i had a punt today would it ?? for sure it would i am a compulsive gambler and to win,and i can win just like you the answer is today NO BET and tomorrow again i will be a better person for it and you have a baby on the way fella so what more motivation will you need!!
You can do this gazza one day at a time stepping forward.
duncs.
Duncan,
Many thanks for your post.
Yes the honeymoon period is over.
Now facing up to some harsh realities that my compulsive gambling has caused.
I'll continue to read your diary with interest ,as you seem to be turning your life around and you always seem very positive about your future.
One day at a time.... but we WILL get there.
Day 21-3 weeks
Quiet day spent in the garden with my daughter.
Hearing my dughter laugh felt good, feeling the sun on my face felt good - another step away from this miserable compulsion feels good.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend everybody.
Day22
Keeping busy with the normal things in life.
Have a good day everybody
Hi gazza, well done on 22 days.
there is a lot to be said for keeping busy with normal life things, it is something i am also doing at the moment.
I too had a lovely time in my garden with my kids at the weekend, something i would not have done enough of while gambling. These are the really important things in our lives that we must enjoy, time passes soooo quickly, lets not be looking back with regret at what we should have done when its too late.
Your doing great, keep strong and enjoy the normal life.
Pat
Evening Pat.
Thanks for your post. Always interested in getting a reply from a new "reader". Different pepole have different takes on things which is very interesting.
Yes,time spent with the family is precious and is so rewarding,especially without the guilt and self-loathing.
These are the emotions i'm still having difficulty with and will probably do so for a long time yet
Day 23
Planning on keeping busy.
Trying to stay positive.
Hope everybody has a good day
Day 24
Keeping busy.
Tried explaining a few things about this compulsive behaviour of mine, to my loving and very understanding partner.
It seems weird talking about it openly.
I felt a mixture of emotions-regret,the guilt but also felt embarrassed. The compulsion to gamble must be so difficult to understand if you don't do it.
Anyway,another small step taken on the road to recovery.
gazza.
well done fella the more open you can be about being a compulsive gambler the more I think you simply arm yourself further fella for the GAMBLE FREE road ahead.
You are right it is difficult I think to a non compulsive gambler to understand what drives us all but the more they know the more help you will get.Did you catch the documentory on bbc 3 it is on the I player and I watched it with my wife,every little helps fella. well done again!!!!
duncs compulsive gambler 64days NO BET.
Morning Duncan
Thanks for your reply.
Yes i did see it-uneasy viewing at time.
Very honest account of compulsive gambling.
Will try to track it down for my good lady to watch.
Stay strong for day 64
I'm 40 days behind you and use this as an incentive to keep going ,so make sure you keep going!!!!
gazza
Day 25
Busy at work
Felt a huge wave of guilt again yesterday.
Must accept that this is part of the recovery.
Going to focus on the positives in my life-my beautiful family.
Have a good day everybody
DAY 25 gazza!! whos counting.
fella you will get stronger by the day,turn the guilt round fella,dont linger on it too long try taking a step back 25 days!! fancy it me neither!!!
keep at it fella hers to counting!!!!
dunc one more step forward.
Day 26
Still counting !!!
Busy at work.
Looking forward to the weekend and spending time with the family.
Hope evertybody is having a good day
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