The road to recovery...84 months on.

Afternoon NM

The full horror of my addiction is now out in the open.

i'm at a low ebb.

i was hoping to pay off some of the debt but this would've been near impossible.

It makes me all the more determined to become a decent partner and Dad.

I'm horrified at the way i have behaved and will try to put this right.

i know that i won't gamble again. i now have to convince my partner of this and to gain some trust.

Day 33

Another very sobering day.

Talked through the debt situation. i admitted to telling lies and being decitful in trying to hide the debt.

i now have to show my partner that deep down i'm a good person and regain her trust.

gambling turns me into Mr Hyde

At my GA meeting last night-some tears but also some laughter.

Reinforced to me that i CAN'T and WON'T gamble again.

Hope everybody is moving on

Gazza

I hope you found your GA meeting as helpfull as I have found mine fella. I think that if I can learn something at each meeting and add that to what I learn through this fantastic forum then I will arm myself well in the quest to remain gamble free, And I will give you back you words "very Sobering" and just say gamble free these days become fewer and the lying and deceiving along with it.

Keep at it fella you can do this gamble free you will continue to WIN!!!

duncs stepping forward never back.

Day 34

Duncs,thanks for your kind words of support.

More Dr Jekyll,less Mr Hyde!!!

I owe so much to my partner-she has been devastated too many times by my wreckless behaviour,but is sticking bye me, for which i thank her with all my heart

The GA meetings and this forum are great for me-they remind me that i CAN'T gamble again. Also they inspire me to a gamble free life.

Here's to a good day

Hi Gazza,

Having it all out in the open really is the best thing to happen for you and your family. You are desperate to stop this madness and with the help of your family, you WILL.

Just remember that they have just had a shock to their system whilst you have had it building up inside of you for a while. It may take time but your love for your family will see you through this challenging period.

Stay very strong and very positive.

NT

Day 35

NT,thanks for your post.

Staying strong today.

Hope everybody is having a nice weekend

And you have a lovely weekend too.

Keep the faith!

NT

Day 36

More of the same....hopefully!!!

Hope everyone has a good day

gazza

Dont be afraid to ask questions fella I have answered your one regarding trust on my own diary.

keep it up fella,the good days will soon outweigh the bad.

duncs stepping forward.

Day 37

Duncs, many thanks for your thoughts,really appreciated.

Feel a little fragile today as reality bites.

Will stay strong for my loved ones so onwards!

Day 38

Quiet day planned.

Staying strong for my family.

gazza

Day 39

Same as yesterday

GA meeting tonight.

Hope everyone is well

hi gazza just want to say well done to you! your family would be very pround of you! your reasonis the same as mine the guilt, spending money i could be spending on my family ect, your an inspiration and i hope i get to day 39 all the best hollie x

Gazza.

Fella I hope you get more ammunition for the fight at your GA meeting tonight,just for today be kind to yourself fella you have not had a punt for 38 full days of that my friend you should be very proud and to think fella you have a little one on the way to inspire you further one day at a time.

Enough said.

duncs stepping forward.

Day 40

A very useful GA meeting last night although it did occur to me that when i'm at my meeting, my partner is left at home worrying about our finances.

A difficult day today as we'ver tried to sort out some of the financial chaos my compulsive gambling has left us in.

Once more she is left destroyed by this sorry tale.

i MUST try and show her that i've changed for the better and that my gambling is a thing of the past.

Earning her trust is my greatest challange.

Hope everybody is well.