The start of my journey, again

Hi Dholla1,

Hey, no worries, happy to help! Although if I may be so bold to "agree to disagree" with one element of your reply, when you maintain it's not that you find gambling an issue, but the destruction you've caused your relationship that's the hardest thing to cope with.

Whilst I don't disagree for a moment about what's happened to your relationship, and how you rightly feel numb without question, I would say that gambling is still the number one issue; the rest of it are the symptoms, the effects of your actions - the gambling is the cause and, as you well know, as I know from personal experience, it's the gambling weed that got to be pulled out by the roots - that's what's destroying the garden.

I hope you don't mind me refocussing on the cause; I know you know this, and I'm with you all the way here OK.

This site, as you say, is excellent and you are dealing really well on Day 11 - getting into a good groove, and this is all very good stuff. It's now about momentum, doing this for you, getting yourself straight. Because, do that, showing strength in adversity, will set you up really well for when the next impediment or knock back comes along.

It's about building your non-gambling armour up, putting on that thick chainmail, visor and gauntlett, building up the resistance you'll need and that grim, but positive determination you'll need.

I sense you'll get to Day 12, and then think - **** this, I'm going to do Day 13.

Keep going, day by day, with you on this journey mate.

All the best,

Mixer

Mixer I like the way you put things I really do and yes, I totally agree with what you said about gambling being the number one issue, that it most certainly is.

I purely meant from my previous post that at this time (knowing it will come and try to bite me one day) i'm finding it pretty easy to not gamble and can't even say i've even had the urge. I know it's only a matter of time before it tries to raise its ugly head but I fully intend to have build up my non-gambling armor by then, if I may steal your phrase, which I like by the way.

I guess that ultimately I come back to what you said, that gambling is the cause for all of these other issues and that pushes me to move forward with my GF life and stay strong in my resolve.

Thank you as always for the reply, all the best to you.

Wohooooo day 12.

Not sure why 12 is a big thing just felt like a wohoooo today I guess, not that anything special has happened but hey ho.

Still all good so far on the no gambling front, being busy at work always helps I find although it's normally the nights when the urge hits, just not yet. If I ever get that 'itch' I just come on here, read or comment on some threads or rant at you guys on my diary, hey if it helps then why not, sure you all don't mind lol.

So to anyone reading, stay strong, stay positive and as someone else told me the other day, just remember that the last money you spent on gambling was probably the best money you ever spent as it made you realise that you had a problem and needed to sort yourself out. Wise words I feel.

Day 12 shows you mean business; heading for 2 weeks without a gamble. Good stuff dholla1!

You are dead right; if you get an itch, or that 'feeling' then dive on here straight away. Dive in, swim around, read a few diaries and remind yourself why you're not doing this. The itch will pass, the feeling will pass. And we march on towards another day GF.

Day 13 and looking forward to day 14, I can then say that i've officially been gamble free for 2 weeks. Be nice to be able to start counting weeks and not just days but hey, it's a journey and we all have to start with day 1 don't we.

Hope this finds everyone doing well and staying strong.

2 weeks tomorrow! Excellent! Always a day at a time .. but .. whisper it ... you're starting to get into gear and motor. It's now about staying on the road and not veering off.

But tomorrow you're not going to veer off, I sense.

Great stuff dholla1.

2 Weeks, officially, and i've gotta say it feels pretty good. 14 days mights not seem like alot and i've certainly been gamble free for longer before but i've said it before and i'll say it again, this time I feel different, like this is it.

Had a great chat with some lovely people in the same position on the chat room today. For anyone reading this who hasn't been on there yet, I would highly recommend it, it's always good to talk to people in the same position and get their take on certain issues that you might be facing. It's also just really nice to talk to people who won't judge, it's very hard for anyone who hasn't been a compulsive gambler to understand the mindset.

All in all not gambling is going well. Still not had the urge but that may just be because of all the things i'm doing on here. Along with this diary i'm trying to get into the chat room whilst just spending some time reading and commenting on other peoples posts, it really is helping.

Hope everyone is doing ok and can celebrate another gamble free day with me today.

14 done here's to day number 15.

Great chatting to you tonight Dholla1. And you're setting yourself up for a GF day tomorrow; that's just the job!

Day 15 tomorrow as you say. Bring it on!

Day 15 guys and all is well, gambling wise anyway.

So far i'm not having much trouble keeping the old gambling gremlin at bay, i've said it before and i'll say it again it's dealing with the consequences of my previous actions that's the hardest thing to deal with right now, but, keeping positive and staying strong. I WILL NOT make this mistake again and that gambling gremlin can 'do one' lol, not interested any more.

Hope this finds everyone doing well and taking this journey day by day, that's all we can do. Be realistic with ourselves and take it one day at a time.

That being said i'm officially setting my first goal for 30 days. I know i'll get there and indeed go way beyond but I don't want to get carried away just yet. Lets get 30 days done and see where we go from there.

All the best everyone.

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You're setting manageable targets, Dholla - all power to your elbow.

Most importantly you've hit 15 days and sweet 16 beckons tomorrow. A GF weekend; worth its weight in gold. Priceless!

Mixer,

I figured there's no point being unrealistic. Do I want to be GF for the rest of my life, YES, can I set that as a realistic target, hell no. 1 day, one month, one year at a time my friend.

Hope you're staying strong and getting on ok buddy, here's to a GF weekend, the first of many.

Day 16 - DONE

Not a huge amount to say today guys so please forgive the lack of words but still just going at this one day at a time.

Hope you're all good, Gamble free and staying strong.

Nice one Dholla, Day 16 chalked off and setting the scene for Day 17 tomorrow. All set for a GF Monday ... and with you shoulder to shoulder.

17 done and all is rosy.

Another day another dollar as they say, personally, i'd say another day another dollar saved and not wasted on that god awefiul habit.

You can probably tell but the not gambling is still going well, no real issues with that at the moment but still taking it one day at a time.

Cheers Mixer, always there for each other pal. GF Monday and a GF Tuesday aswell, why not.

Hope you're all doing well and staying strong and GF today, lets get through the week guys, one day at a time.