The start of the journey.

Welcome to the forum my friend - i am just in my journey of being gamble free for the rest of my life and my determination to achieve this goal is what is driving me. I don't feel that i am in position to be offering advise as i am so new to it all but i hope that over the next few days/weeks/months that you stay here and get priceless advise from people who have been thru it all before! Good luck.

Well I'm sitting at work. Going out of my mind. I am not 100% sure why. Is it the gambling or the possibility my relationship is over. No desires to gamble as such but regret that I can never do it again. Is this normal? Reading so much but at this time I am very tired due to lack of sleep through worry I'm not sure I'm taking it all in. This is going to be a hard battle if I loose my fiancé.

This going to be hard if I don't loose her!!!!!!

Hello In trouble

Have you got support from Gamcare and other organizations out there to help? There is so much help

You could start by ringing Gamcare?

I'm still in the early days but its helped that i've been honest with my family

Its not easy and they are worried about the future but that's why its so important I keep being honest with them

Keep sharing In trouble

Triangle

I don't really know enough about but my desire to do bets or go to casino has weakened each day and i think the more time goes on the less i will want to do it until such times as when you wont even think about it.. What has you partner said about your gambling and coming clean? How long will it take you to become debt free - why don't you draw up a plan of how you are going to get rid of the debt and manage financially. This will show her that you are being proactive and prove that you aren't just drifting along and letting the gambling rule your life

Hi triangle. Yes I am in touch and have my first session booked for this Saturday. It can't come soon enough. I know I just need to be strong.

Hi cry for help. I am in the system shall we say. Have my first session on Saturday. As for the debt I have been in touch with step change and am awaiting a pack to complete a drp with them. The trouble with my partner runs deeper than gambling as I outlined in my first post. I took comfort in texting other girls to make myself feel good after the loses. She found out about that and is now upset and angry about that. She doesn't believe it was no more than texts. Gambling really got hold if me and chewed me up. Focused on fixing that problem but my engagement is out if my hands and just making more anxious. I just want her to believe me.

So here I am day 3 of my diary. To be honest still no desire to gamble only regret at what I have done and the money I have lost. I think today however I have managed to seperate the gambling problems from the relationship problems. Or at least right now it feels that way. Nervousness for my assessment with the councillor tomorrow. Not sure how honest I will be on session one. I know I must be 100% honest but it's so shameful. But I do feel more positive today. However I do concern over how I will be when the guilt subsides and the desire to gamble comes back. Only time will tell. Managed breakfast today. So must be improving.

least your gamble free in trouble

enjoy your gambling free day

keep in touch

triangle

So session one today with break even. It was very good and very pleased I went. I managed to be 100% honest which I wasn't sure I could be. Felt much better after. Looking forward to next week. Still struggling to come to terms with what I have done. Feels like a strange nightmare. Everybody seems to say that it well get better. I hope so. This life is so dark right now. I need to let some light in.

WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!!!

Well time is moving on. Nearly Wednesday and almost two weeks since my last play on the slots!!!! Feeling better and better each day and more confident that I can beat this. But...... Still concerns of course. Like.... What happens when I have spare money? Can I really never bet again not even the lotto. (I know I can't) it just seems there will be so many temptations in my future life! Oh well on wards and up wards.

Wednesday 16th April.

Beggining to feel urges to play the machines. Far from uncontrollable and easy to resist but there non the less. Not sure why now they are coming. Still very ashamed of my self. I have made a note on my iphone listing people who would be disappointed if I did (yes my name is top) and at the bottom is the amount if debt I have accumulated in the past years from it. Keep looking at it and it helps a lot. Keep walking forward don't look back. Easy words I know but for some reason I am tempted look over my shoulder.

Well into week 3 now of no gambling and session 2 done with break even. Feeling a lot better. Well better at least. I think the addiction is now showing up but managing to resist and even keep temptation away. Need to stay strong and keep reminding myself all that I have given up to gamble or more importantly all that I'm getting back because I have given up gambling.

More than half way through week 3 now. Feeling good and proud that I have not had a single relapse. Probably saved over 200 by not gambling. The results on the bank balance are so obvious and motivational. Feeling good and determined to destroy the addiction. Booking a holiday for July! My money saved from gambling and payday loan interest will easily cover it. Small rewards for day to day strength.