Relapsed multiple times

Been there and done that do many times.  Yes, it’s such an awful feeling. Good on you for being determined this time.  

Hi Liv

No win ever has enough zeros on the end does it. I won three huge amounts last year and lost all of them within weeks.

I know the relapses have hurt but none of us know the exact route to recovery. Even top formula one drivers have practice laps, qualifying before doing it for real. They go back and look where they made mistakes and try to rectify them.

I think the way forward is to try and look for the triggers that led to the relapses and put some more barriers in place. One big thing in recovery is accountability and you can build that through family and friends plus coming on here each day, reading and posting or replying plus the chatrooms and talking to the advisors. Have you tried counselling on Gamcare which is free of charge ? Have you tried GA online or in person ?

Just some suggestions. If you wanted me to comment on what blocks and barriers you have in place just post the details on here and if there is anything else I can suggest im more than happy to 

@lp5vut869c hi Stuart 

yes I’m waiting on the councillor getting back to me I put in for it last night . What blocks are you thinking ? I’ve already signed up to gamstop , put Gamban on my phone and shredded all my cards, my partner is now going to be the only one with access to our money now 

Hi Liv

You can't do anymore than that so I'm not sure how you have got around them

@lp5vut869c 

thanks for your response . I am going to try my best to beat the addiction this time 

thank you 

Hi Liv

I'm always on here and more than happy to support you and talk through anything you need to. Just post on this topic with any challenges or thoughts you have 

Hi Liv

I've been in this situation myself so so many times, I recently also lapsed, my intentions are a resolve to stop but as my therapist keeps saying to me all the times you stopped, you achieved that discipline in not gambling and you haven't undone those times of abstinence same as myself, but these frequent lapses are a part of our recovery and journey. We must not give up giving up but keep going. We will get there, but it'll take every resolve n strength that we have. Learning something each time from each lapse we can look at what wed do differently next time. Giving up gambling is the hardest thing anyone has had to do in life coz in a gamblers mind u think one more big win n ill stop but we don't so there's no good outcome except to stop and put all the exclusions in place, time, access, money. Look forward to chatting soon on chatroom

Jen x

Hi Liv

I think there are ways of looking at relapses. They teach us that we don't have enough in place or need to do a bit more work on ourselves but they are just practice runs and hiccups. It's always good to look back at relapses and reverse engineer the situation to try and identify the trigger and opportunity to work out what could have stopped it. Once you know that it might be able to put another block in place. I know someone who often wears sandals when in town as his bingo hall won't let him in with them for instance. Not all barriers are the standard Gamban and self exclusion.

For me, I had to work out why I gambled for 44 years. Why wasn't life enough without gambling. I realised it was my escape mechanism to not face life on life's terms. By changing all the negative defects in my thoughts and actions to positive strengths of character I started to build a life where I have no space, need or desire to gamble. 

For instance, if I try and do the next right thing and be the best version of Stuart that I can, then I don't want to gamble. If I let stress, arguments, challenges etc get to me then I want to escape to gambling.

We all know, apart from the government, that it's the worst addiction because it's self medicating and convinces us that the only way out is to do more.

My favourite quote is that gambling is about giving up everything for one thing. Recovery is about giving up one thing for everything 

Good luck