This is my time

Blownitagaib wrote:

How have you been since pal

your not alone in this journey Malc

So here I am again,

Gambled again yesterday not good and defo no proud, Anyway I will start again Feb has to be a better month.

On a better note I have started to get my mortgage sorted out so that will help.

Lets see what happens.

Malc

Made it first Tuesday and Wednesday night that I have not been to the Casino did think about going last night but thought better of it and went to my bed instead feel much better for it today.

Lets see what today brings.

Malc

How do you feel about self excluding from the casino malc?

Afternoon Rhonda,

To be honest I am not completely sure that I have excluded myself from the casino's? So I went onto this web page down loaded the form filled it out and emailed it to them but nobody has got back to me to say it has happened or not.

http://www.nationalcasinoforum.co.uk/playingsafe/sense-information/

If there anyother way to self exclude apart from going in to the Casino and doing it at the counter?

Thansk again

Malc

Hmmmm, well happened again went to B&Q and went in past a bookie, How can I not get rid of the horrible addiction. Anyway I have contacted a counseller and see what happens there.

Had enough

MT

So weekend passed no betting, Appoiment made to see Psychologist about gambling and see whats going on. Good thing about the weekend no thoughts about gambling or even wanting to.

Strange what triggers the thoughts.

Keep winning by not gambling.

MT

Day#5 GF

Bored day at work little boy at Nana's think will work late and bed early.

Tomorrow will be another day

Malc

Getting there almost another week done and not gambled all week. Get my little boy tonight thats always exciting something to look forward to. I have counselling booked for tomorrow at 4:30 for an hour if I ma being honest I am pretty scared but need to do it so let see what happens there. I have not told anyone about my gambling but am thinking about tell my sister maybe wait for another week or so GF then I will tell her.

I added up my gambling debts last night and about 40k, no proud or impressed, I honestly believe I was missing something in life that pushed me to gambling. I reached an all time low around a week ago where my little boy was sleeping in the car and I went into a bookie that I was not excluded from and of course lost £500. When I came out my little boy was awake and crying because I was not there. I felt horrible ashamed stupid and upset because I was not there for him.

My mind set has changed hopefully this counseller will help set me straight on the important things in life.

This forum really helps I read it daily and it reminds me of what happens.

Anyway almost Friday roll on.

Malc

Day -7 next day-10 then 14-20-30

Keep on winning by not gambling

Well done malkie, nobody said it was going too be easy. But when we don't know when too stop is the demon. At first you will have good weeks and bad weeks. But in the end you need too stop or lose everything. Gambling changes everyone's mood. If your winning great mood if your losing its like your life is ending. Life shouldn't be like that as we have control over it. Each day as it comes please stay gf my friend.

Thanks for the comments Ally, means alot. I agree with you the mood swings it is not right just need to face up to things and deal with them.

I plan to stay GF, I have a couselling session with afternoon maybe dig a bitty beeper and see if they can find out whats going on in my head (I have a fair idea just see if they think the same).

Keep on winning by NOT GAMBLING

Malc

Had my first counselling session on Friday afternoon, wow what an eye opener that was, not just about gambling about my life why I do thinks the "wall" that I create with addiction problems. If I leave gambling I will have nothing to hide behind adn be exposed.

Anyone who does not understand why they are gambling go speak to a counseller and get some answers maybe things you might not want to hear but answers and who knows it might help.

Anyway day #10 result day #14 here I come.

Malc

Hi Malc!!

I've got a counselling session booked for end of this month....can't wait id I'm honest. Please tell someone close to you so they can help...best thing I did. Gets on my nerves then asking me if I'm ok every 2 secs but they mean well. Give your lad the dad he deserves...not saying you're a bad dad or anything...just want you and yours to be happy without that demon being about. I wish you luck x

Hang in there malc rooting for you !