This time it's got to be the one

Morning diary day 39, almost at my next target of 42 days.

Thanks for your advise WAI and Stephen regarding taking time out for myself and thats what ive been trying to do this weekend.

Ive started a book that ive had in the drawer for two years+!

The sun is shining and im going to take the dog on a long walk in the countryside, nothing like fresh air to make us feel better,ive got running club tomorrow too so looking forward to that. My friend is still in control of my finances and i think thats the way id like to leave it at least for the next few months.

I am taking one day at a time , never letting my guard down.

Hope everyone has a pleasant GF sunday

Annie x

Hi Annie,

So glad you have picked up a book, are enjoying nice country walks and just generally starting to enjoy abit of 'me' time. It's always nice 🙂

It's so good to hear! Enjoy runnning tomorrow x

Thanks Wai im really enjoying the book! "Me time" is good , i hope your taking some time for yourself too x

Well day 42 and my next target acheived. Ive learnt a lot over the last 6 weeks about myself and my addiction. For me it has been absolutely necessary to put blocks in place, and i realise that my previous relapse is because i thought i could do it alone.also things that i thought didnt particularly interest me such as running have fulfilled my time and i always feel loads better after a bit of fresh air, being GF for me is about experiencing life again.

I never want to have the feeling of being back at day 1 and that has been empowering me forwards.Also my gamcare friends full of encouragement and positivity in their comments whilst also being on their own GF journey.May everyone have continued strength in this battle.

Small steps for me my next target 50 days.

Annie x

Congratualtions on Day 42 Annie!

You're doing superbly well. You must be so proud of yourself. Those antics 42 days ago are a thing of the past, but must always be there somewhere in the back of your mind to remind yourself of how low you felt that day.

6 weeks gamble free, Annie.

How good does that sound?

Hoping to be there myself in 41 days time....

Keep it up girl!

Thankyou for posting on my diary Annie , your kind words always give me a lift .

Congratulations on your 42 days GF, every day away from that horrible addiction is a cause for celebration .

I admire your proactive approach to recovery . Positive , upbeat and forward looking . Very inspiring ......stephen

Thanks moorey631986 and Stephen for your kind comments.

Day 44 ... i must admit when i started out on this journey again i was so afraid that i wouldnt be able to do it, my longest spell gf was 121 days and my first thought was if ive gone that long and relapsed i can never break this spell, thats what gambling felt like to me like a terrible spell that i was under that no matter how hard i tried id be drawn back into it and im constantly on guard that i can be.

I knew something had to change to give me at least a small chance of becoming GF, i needed to break the spell so to speak. I chose to do this by joining Gamcare and confiding in my best friend in the first instance, what a relief to tell someone and someone who didnt judge but hugged me and said they will provide me with support,a shoulder to cry on anything i need to help me battle this.I felt at absolute rock bottom. I guess my point is with the passing of time things do get better even 44 days on the dark cloud is lifting and will hopefully continue to move away. I will never give up on giving up.

The last few weeks have been emotional i have experienced every single type of emotion from anger to tears to smiling at the lovely comments and words of wisdom on this site.

Stay strong everyone and have a GF weekend

Annie

Hi Annie,

So glad you are finding things to fulfil your time, love it when you say 'being gamble free is about experiencing life again'.

I am so glad your have your friend and she is helping you and helping with financial control. I too have had a long period gamble free and have realised by giving over financial control and only having a cash card and some cash is the only way for me at this point in time until I've adressed what drives me to it, which I know may take a long time! So pleased you have that support. You are doing great- Day 45! 🙂

The emotions are crazy.. but your taking so many positive steps and your still gamble free!!! 🙂

Thankyou Annie for the kind words on my diary . Having fun holidaying at my sisters . Wishing you well in your recovery andd happy days ...stephen

Thanks WAI and Stephen for your supportive comments as usual, i really appreciate them.hope you are both well and enjoying GF days x

Well i made it to day 50! My next target is going to be 75 days ... i find this works working towards smaller goals , the bigger picture will always be gf forever that is my ultimate goal but for now im taking one day at a time.

I would not have got through these last 50 days without the support of this site , even just reading experiences and diaries of others makes you feel less isolated in this battle.

All my blocks still in place, been spending lots of time with my family and starting to see a tiny chink of light at tge end of the tunnel.

Take care all

Annie x

So pleased for you Annie . Congratulations on 50 days gamble free . Definitely agree with ' one day at a time ' , it seems more achievable and the days pass so quickly . Take care stephen x

Hello !

well here i am day 56 ...small steps but hope too , hope that this time i might actually finish what i started.

Thanks for your comment Stephen, time really has flown by although it didnt seem like it in the beginning.i think the more time passes and we start to 'live' again the less time we have to think about gambling ,it starts to move out of the thought box.

This forum has helped massively, and although i dont post every day i do log on and have a read.Other people's experiences and feelings shared means that i feel less alone, and there is some excellent adivce on here.

Ive recieved my seconds month salary since being GF and pleased to report my friend is still controlling my finances.

I feel stronger this time round and i do not have any desire to go back to day one. Im starting to feel more like the Annie everyone knows rather than the person i became when i gambled.

Hope everyone is ok and having a GF week

Annie x

Hi Annie

Hope all is still going well for you and those gamble free days are piling up.

Take care

Matt

Hi matt

I Hope you are well

Thank you for your post i really appreciate it and im pleased to report i am still GF and feeling positive. The debts get me down sometime but i know im doing everything i can to make a dent in them and im not falling for the gambling demon telling me its so easy to win and pay them off because we all know it just makes it worse.

I havent posted much lately as i have been so busy i was on a training course for my second job and im off on a family holiday, life is getting better but i am always on guard.

I hope all my lovely gamcare friends are staying strong and gf

Annie x

Hi Annie. Just been reading your posts, just wondered what app you use? I have been a gambling addict on roulette for 7 years, I'm 26 and in 6000 worth of debt. Also a mum to two 🙁 day 2 today!

Hi Angie

Sorry for my late reply i use a gamble therapy app and its actually called Gamble therapy.With regards to blocks i got my bestfriend to put a pin on my iphone that restricts access to anything under 18, its really helped take away the menas to gamble and allowed me to start addressing why i gamble for the first time in 3 years.wishing you all the best in your recovery.

Well time is going so quickly .... i enjoyed a lovely holiday with my family and now back to workibg hard to pay off my debts, i enjoy work and its filling my time, run club this friday too ,hoping the weather is better.

76 days GF ,taking tiny steps ,remaining GF for today.

Hope everyone is having a good GF week

Annie x