Hi decided the time was right to start a recovery diary in the hope that gambling doesn't become an addiction. I've been gambling moderately (mostly at weekends) since I was about 18 but realised recently that what started out as a small fun bet at the weekend has developed into a borderline addiction. My vice has been FOBT's and specifically roulette. Today I put in 250 which is ridiculous, I know that, yet I still did it? It is not the first time recently that I have done this but for some reason the lure of the chase makes me want to play more. I've read all about gambling and symptoms of addiction and I definately possess traits which could make it a problem if I don't get a ***** of things. I'm tired of being annoyed/depressed with myself for walking out of a bookies down as a result of playing roulette. I get even angrier as I'm not stupid and despite trying to refrain still succumb to the urge. My gambling hasn't got to dangerous levels yet (I have a good job and pay my bills each month) but I'm scared that if I don't get on top of it that it could become a serious issue. I've tried to stop before but given in after 5 days cold turkey. I thought this might be a better way of stopping by learning from other people's experiences. The money I've gambled is gone and I can't get it back, I just want to feel like I can turn the corner and stop being controlled by my urges to play.
Husky
A well written introduction,well done for finding the courage to admit you are having a problem with your gambling.
For all I have read the compulsion to gamble is a progressive addiction in nature,through time the amounts and risks rise and of course the losses with it.
If you can arrest the problem now then you will not experience the greater lows and losses that can come,my choice of gambling was the fobt,the 500 dream breaker,a machine in the end that took all I had to give and more,all chasing a 500 jackpot
In recovery I can see how ridiculous that is,but whilst I gambled I couldn't.
My advice the same advice that was given to me on my first days recovery,it still works today
There is a triangle
Time-Money-Location
take one away at all times and the punt becomes impossible,gifting you a life without the losses,the walks of shame and the self gifted mind f**k that gambling offers you.
Without these episodes you will become a winner,a winner without risking a penny.
For me self exclusion has been the best tool in the locker to accomplish this.
I wish you well,and hope you arrest the destruction before you start to risk the bill money,as all to often happens in time.
Well done,be kind to yourself
Duncs stepping forward never back
Good that you have admitted a problem and are doing something about it. From my experience it is only a matter of time before you gamble your bills money then start borrowing money to gamble.
I took over 20 years to admit a problem and start doing something about it. I lost 600000 and ran up debts of 200000 on top of that and had to remortgage as well. Don't be like me. Arrest your addiction now.
There is lots of good advice on this Forum. Don't follow one individual though. Read and consider all posts to you and read other diaries for inspiration. But do what is best for YOU.
You could self-exclude from establishments, get someone to look after your money, try counselling, read books, whatever works for you.
Don't expect to just give up. There will be setbacks so expect them. They are part of the recovery journey.
Best wishes.
at least you know the money has gone and have accepted that , as then you will not try to win it back which will help in stopping , win at gambling by not gambling , also self exclude from everywhere and everything , all the best simon
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