Time to shine

Cheers, Fellas.

Gone and ballsed up I'm afraid. £600 gone over the weekend despite being £600 up at one point. If I had more available now I'd bet it. Payday tomorrow and money is all accounted for. Don't feel too low, just really wound up and angry at myself as I thought I was doing so well and then the weekend was just too tempting. What a loser in every sense of the word. I'll try again with tomorrow being day 1. So gutted as I write this!

We’ve all been there mate. Don’t beat yourself up too much! Remember - day 1 this time might be the time you quit for good! Don’t give up, I’ve slipped more times than I care to remember but I’m determined this time that I will never do it again. Get yourself banned from the bookies, install blocks on your phone and computer. It’s the only way that you will not blow more money. Good luck!

Here we go again. Just done another grand. Feel sick, same old. Got complacent, now complete abstinence. I'm ready.

Day 3. Most of done for a long while. It's a start I suppose.

Hey Jayjam / Jamdownunder. How you doing buddy? Sorry I have not been here for you for a while. I know how you feel, the abnger at the relapse, the frustration. The numbness when the bet loses. Keep up the good work. As you know, it is a series of little steps. One foot in front of the other....keep on walking. The dream is to just keep moving forward, not look over the shoulder. If you do, you will be tempted to go back.

We can beat this buddy

Afternoon all.

Thanks for the message, Burko. I really do know all too well that numb feeling. Day 9 for me today though and am starting to feel like I may just be able to do this. Not done 9 days with out a bet for a long time so trying to re-programme the mind. Productivity at work is up, conversations with people are starting to mean something again instead of rushing through them so I can just check the basketball scores in some far flung land because I have a £350 bet on over 170 points, which will invariably lose. I hope everybody out there can find it within themselves to stop. I am not entirely sure that I will never gamble again but at the moment, I am feeling surprisingly strong and resolute. Cheers!

Into double figures and on to day 11. Nt been checking anywhere near as many results, am now unaware to a degree of fixtures and have been watching the IPL and enjoying it. Long may this continue. Going to be tight this month as have some gambling debts to pay but hopefully then I can get an IVA set up and start doing some nice things.

Day 13 today and Payday. Will be the first payday I haven't bet in years. I walked past the bookies this morning and so far so good.,

Hi Jay,

Thank you for posting some encouraging words on my diary and well done for keeping yourself strong and not getting tempted whilst walking past the bookies. Congratulations on racking up double digit GF days. Keep up the good work mate. One day at a time. Take care.

Pras

Cheers Pras,

Well, the first payday has come and gone, a particularly proud moment. Not been in the bookies for over two weeks, no feelings of feeling sick and although I don't ahve a lot of speare money after paying £900 in gambling debts this month on top of living exoenses, I sure feel that I am turning this corner. Not looked at odds and wasn't even bothered about football scores. Watched a bit of the cricket and that was about it. I can't wait to see how this will all feel in 6 months time. Just hope that I can stay strong. Best wishes to everyone today on this dank Monday morning. We can, by staying clear of the bookies and making it a previous life, bring a little sunshine into our lives.

Jam

On to day 17 today of no bookies either online or in shop. I say no bookies because I did buy a lottery ticket at the wwekend. This is something I don't struggle with so I don't mind doing it. For me, it was dashing down the bookies whilst at work and staking £350 on a single basketball match that I knew nothing about and then watching it at work.

I also self excluded on the new Gamstop site for the maximum 5 year term. This is also good news as, after a few beers on a Saturday night, I'd often hit the NBA or any foreign cricket up, bet as much as I had available to me and then wake up with that horrible sick feeling. This is the longest that I have ever done and I am starting to feel better about this whole thing. Long may it continue.

Good Morning Diary,

On to day 18 today and I still have some money left. Not a lot but I would have already usually borrowed money at this point so it feels a little odd but clearly in a good way. I told my partner that I am on day 18 and she said well done, she still doesn't know how badly I was affected by this as quite simply, I have been a master of disguise. Now, I feel like my life is a little less exciting but now I can hopefully start to plan for nice holidays and things which will offer an even bigger high moving forward. Starting to be a little healthier too as my weight had sky rocketed to over 20st. I'll try to work on this now instead of gambling.

Does anybody else ever have that feeling of money burning a hole in their pocket? I don't have a lot but feel the need to spend it for some strange reason, however not on gambling this time. 2.5 weeks since I went in a bookies and already strangely, feels like half of a lifetime. Long may it continue : )

Keep going guys, we will get there!

Here we go, day 20. Found it a bit tough yesterday and also abit today. Quite a few urges without being too much to act on. The longer time goes on, the more often I have the thoughts that 'oh it's not that bad'. The pain and the anxiety of the loss becomes duller as time wears on but then I come on here and read others stories and it snaps me out of it and brings reality home. What a great tool this website is. It is tough moving forward, especially as I am not fully seeing the financial benefits yet. I know sticking at this will get me there. I do have enough for a couple of beers in the sun this bank holiday, usually,I would be inside gambling. Let's enjoy the sun and have a gamble free holiday : )

Jam

Onto day 24 and back to work after the bank holiday. Great weekend and ultimately, stayed in the nice weaher and didn't entertain going into the bookies. Few urges but kept bust and stayed gamble free. Onwards and upwards.

Well done jam you seem to be coping well so far mate