To do it properly

Knock knock Paul lol, you have gone quiet again.

Do hope you are keeping strong and safe.

Suzanne xxx

Hey Paul,

That's ok;) as long as you are ok.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your message, it's good to see you staying safe and sound.

Have a good weekend.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your post, Scan was fine thanks ( it's waiting for the result lol)

I am glad you have posted today, and said no gambling, listen you will feel down and depressed, early days again,

Keep going, your feelings will be up and down, but the downs do get less and the ups get more as you progress with your recovery.

You will feel stronger, and you will start to really find out about yourself, gambling is not the answer, it is really just self destructive behaviour, that we have to realise but we can't if we are in denial, because Paul this addiction gets us in such a way it's not about any money in the end, it's about playing and playing til we have nothing left to give it,

Keep strong Paul,

Suzanne xxx

Morning Paul, and knock knock lol.

Hope you are staying strong and safe.

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne, thanks for your continued support and thoughts of me. I am staying strong (if you mean away from gambling), but I feel weak and spent and ..................... lost, I guess i have left my fantasy world, and the harsh re-ality of a poorer future existence beckons. I feel down because of this, not even the mental energy to post. Many on here say 'embrace recovery' which is fine if it works for 'that person'; I just feel destroyed,no matter what I do, walk, paint. read ...... just numb because of the loss, sorry not much positivety there. Guess that's why I am not posting.

Hey Paul, thanks for your lovely caring message.

No you are not on your own in this mess, but every day you abstain, you actually win now, we can't change the past, and yes because of our past gambling, it has affected and changed our future, but we chose to be slaves to this gambling addiction.

Now we have to choose to abstain and maintain and stay, yes stay in recovery:) for always.

We can't trust ourselves, whatsoever, I think of what I have gained in the last 15 months, and try not to dwell too much of what I lost, because once lost and gone, it ain't gonna come back 🙂

The money has gone friend, that's nothing to losing family and even worse your own life.

On a light note, ok you have lost your pensions, but there is a positive on that (honestly) lol, you would have been taxed to the hiit once you hit the state pension, and with private pensions you would not get any of the little extras, (if we ever get there for the state pension, mine has been changed 3 times now lol) because they keep increasing the age, ohh lol

Be happy with what you have NOW Paul, no one knows what's round the corner, I repeat everyday you don't play you win,

To continue to gamble to get your losses and pensions back would be utter madness, your payout far out reached its limits when you won and continued playing.

Thinking of you too Paul, please stay strong, and don't lose any more of your hard earned money to anyone or anything.

Recovery is the only way forward so OAU

Walking along side with you Paul

Suzanne xxx

Hi LML,

How are you keeping on?. I see you are struggling a little with your thoughts..it's not too bad to look back, just remember - look but not stare, we cannot change the past, that's gone but surely we are more than capable to focus on now and future. Anything is possible.
Every day is different, ride the low ones out and come out of it stronger, you're doing great, keep up good work because you're worth peaceful and calm life ahead.

Just a reminder you're also missed on the challenge this week ☺..i suppose we might get too busy living and forgetting how important is to keep recovery closer by our sides more than before.
Will look forward to ur return. Look after yourself and be kind to you. Recovery is possible!

Sandra x

Hi Paul,

Found you on page 13, was thinking about you today, hope you are well and keeping strong.

No matter what we have done in the past through this addiction, our today and future will only be brighter and happier as long as we accept and then abstain :)) recovery then unfolds and we then do win our lives back.

Hope you are keeping strong and safe.

Suzanne xxx

Its the best way to start to quit gambling properly, is to start a diary on here. Iv'e done it before and stopped and gone back to Gambling, so i am going to give it another go. I don't feel great after my last relapse, anyone who read my thread on the new members forum will see why. So I will try and commit to this diary. So Day 1 - how do I feel, very low - losing the amount of money I did will take an awful long time to get over. So today is a very low day, but maybe not as low as last Friday. Counselling tomorrow, will update diary Wednesday afternoon.

Hi Paul, thanks for popping by, and am glad you went to see your counsellor, today, I do hope she has helped a little.

Every tiny step forwards does help, and every minute we are further away from gambling, it gets that tiny bit better.

You have had a massive knock, but you can do this:)))

Wernt sure which thread to reply on, but have chose this one as I am pleased that you have started your diary up again:)

Seeing your counsellor today and starting your diary again, is good steps to move forwards.

Take care and be kind to you now

Suzanne xxx

Good morning Paul,

How are you today my friend? hopefully feeling slightly better :))

Take care and keep safe.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Suzanne, thanks for your thoughts, I wake up every morning and its like a big bad black hole I am in. But I do get up and go to work, this time last week, the wheels were spinning and the money was disappearing just like the change of car and house have. I had it in my *** and could not handle it. I will not gamble again, I need to re-discover myself and life. Thanks for your concern.

Morning diary, my head is just a jumble of all thoughts - I'm at work 8 eight days on since the mammoth binge that cost my financial future - i keep seeing that spinning wheel (i played for 8 hours straight) when i'm working on my screen - I have no energy for anything - to keep this terrible secret (burden) from others I have to pretend I am ok, when I know i am depressed and in a severe state of grieving (so my counsellor says) - Christmas oh Christmas - I just want to crawl into bed for 30 days and speak to know one - This is depressing reading for me for anyone out there but gambling can destroy you and I think it has destroyed me - I need to pick myself up - but I don't know when that will be.

Morning my friend , as difficult as it is right now , those feelings will lessen but you just have to give it time . As always with us it's once again about the loss , however big we lose the feeling's the same emptyness ?

Just give it time and slowly I'm sure it will become easier to deal with , don't lock yourself away , force yourself back out into life and deal with it , youv'e done it before and got through that and you will again.

Stay strong ,

Best wishes .........................Alan