To do it properly

Hi Gary, many thanks for your caring post. Yeah I guess I could never let the losses go, don't know how much you have read about my recent gambling bout, but it was a pretty horrendous episode, (in fact the actual winning got me out of a hole - but the inability to stop and take has really messed me up this time). Sorry bout break-up of your relationship, double whammy terrible times, lose money you can't afford to and then the person you share your life with - so tough. How are your daughters ? Are you managing Ok financially ? I have stopped now - the pain of my loss on 10/12/15 has made me quit for good. Catch u soon mate.

Evening Paul,

Thanks :)) You have a good Christmas too, and try not to dwell on stuff,

Just finished wrapping presents lol, off to sons (down in Essex tomorrow morning) so I am escaping also for a couple of days lol.:))

Merry Christmas to you and your family, and an even better New year, my friend,

Take care and just enjoy each day ( gamble free ofcourse) :))

Suzanne xxx

Hi Psul,

Thanks for dropping by, and I am pleased you had a good gamble free Christmas and New Year.

Proud of you for staying strong over the festive period.

Just keep pushing through one day at a time, the fog will lift, even though it won't stop raining where I am lol.

Take care and keep safe and sound.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Diary, thanks Suzanne for your unbelievable support. January has always been a tough month for me, dark days, cold, it gets to you, sad disease they say, thats where the gambling came in, the escapism from miserable days. Not this year though, the fantasy life is gone, tonight its the Tv and a book, no more gambling sites looking to get rich, (can't stop once I start). I guess there are many out there on here who find it tough after Xmas, share your thoughts with me, but stay gamble free, it is an evil addication. Catch u tomorrow diary.

Hey Paul, good post my friend.

Suzanne xxx

hey diary, no more gambling, no more spare money, broke, lonely, unfulfilled, anxious, desperate, - the after effects of a gambling life, if only I knew the pain I would be feeling after the damage - before I started the binges, i would never have started. Will life get better, more fulfilled, more happy, who knows, I don't. Good night diary.

Hi Paul,

Try and take some positives my friend, you have a job, a roof over your head, food on the table and in a relstionship with someone, ok you are not rich in money now, but look at what you do actually have, if you had carried on dear Paul, you could have lost all that above, things will get easier, and you will see your finances actually improving now, because you are not burning your money,away, I know it's tough and Jsnuary is the worst month of the year for feelng low anyway.

Just keep pushing through, and keep busy with anything, (except gambling ofcourse)

Keep posting and venting, sending you a big hug (((((PAUL))))))

Suzanne xxx

Hi Diary, Wednesday still feeling glum, is it lack of funds, bad job, no-one to talk to, the weather i don't know, normally I would be off to the fotb machines for a buzz to keep me going, but no more, no more extra profits for pills, oral and brokes, and the big robber get fred. Tonight i type my cv for a change of job is coming, I need to move on. Catch u tomorrow diary, when I won't be any worse off than I am now.

Hi again Paul, thanks for the hug, much appreciated:))

Now that is good news, you are thinking of changing jobs, get those CVs out lad:)))

Listen you did not choose to become a CG, but you have chosen to now stop, and by just making that right choice every morning, I will not gamble for today, it makes the process calmer and not so enormous (if thst makes sense.

Yes you were robbed my friend, this addiction robbed you from rational thinking, and took all your savings, bit by bit at the beginning, and then it came back for the big swoop:(( but you will get there Paul, I know you will:)))

Thanks for asking about this sore subject about the house lol, no no buyers YET, but it's the right side of Xmas now, so keeping positive that someone will buy it 0:))))

Have a good evening think of what you want now, not what you had:))) small steps ofcourse lol:))

Suzanne xxx

Morning Paul,

Here's to another sane gambling free day :))

Keep strong and keep determined,

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Hi Paul,

Friday already, hope you are ok, just dropping in to wish you a warm, calm and safe weekend

Suzanne xxx

Paul, I know you are not around st the weekend but where were you yesterday lol, I hope are are keeping strong and safe my friend.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Paul,

Thanks for replying :))

Understand you feeling really low, as it all really starts to sink in. sorry to read that you did not see your girlfriend this weekend, but understand why:(((

Are you still under the GP, might be worth going to see him again, you don't have to do this alone, he will understand.

Sending you strong thoughts, my friend and a big hug (((((HUG))))) to push through this bad time,

Take care and keep safe.

Suzanne xxx

Morning Paul,

How are you today, feeling better I hope, as long as we don't step back, the only way is forwards and upwards, slow though it may be but every little step forwards does build up, and makes us stronger and more determined to let recovery in.

Take care and keep safe today.

Suzanne xxx

Calling Paul, come in Paul, :)) not going to give up on you,

Suzanne xxx