Want to be free of gambling

Hi Craig,

Welcome back and I wish you all the best in your journey. It is never too late to start again, never ever give up and stay strong. Look forward to follow your journey to the better and calmer future.

Take care

Day at a time

Sandra

Hi Sandra

Thanks for posting. I definitely feel better today for logging back in and posting here. I kinda always knew that stopping using this site would be the wrong move, but I guess that's hindsight. I feel I can beat this as I have gone long periods without betting, but it's how to ignore the stupid thoughts that say "Just one more bet wont hurt" and "it'll be different this time". No matter how much I think I can control gambling it always gets control back in the end!

So hopefully now I can post here when I feel like gambling which should help me to ignore those temptations. I'll also try and keep checking in daily even when I feel in control to ensure I stay that way.

Anyway, as my last bet was approximately 4pm yesterday thats 24 hours without a bet. Day 1 on the long journey has been accomplished.

When I get a chance to I will respond to other users (used to enjoy helping others too), but I don't seem to find too much time.

Regards

Craig

So, another day of no gambling has come and gone taking me up to 3 days. Feeling good especially as Saturday is the biggest day of Sports gambling. Was tempted but managed to resist the demons.

Tomorrow I will have a lot more time to post on other threads as I realise this site is about helping others as well as getting help yourself.

4 days now gamble free. Feeling very good about things especially as I managed to get through the whole weekend watching sport and not gambling.

The amount of things I managed to achieve by not wasting time gambling is amazing. My wife was so pleased at the tidiness of the house when she got home from work lol.

Chirst21

Chirst21,

Well done on returning to this site and being honest to yourself that this was helpful in the past and can be helpful again. I am early days in my journey to recovery but i have never ever felt better since finding this site, tool, barrier, defense whatever we choose to name it. Also well done on a clean home wife will reward you for that im sure. Take the good days and post on here, take the bad days and post on here, take the complacent days and post on here.

I look forward to reading your diary daily.

CasinoRoyaLoser

keep strong and have ten years of gamblefree

Wow - Just looking at the clock and in 5 mins I will be 8 days free of gambling. Not going to become complacent this time though as one day gambling and it's back to square 1.

Anyway, last night was a massive achievement for me. Went to Rileys to play pool (used to play 5 days a week) and usually I have £10-£20 on the slots. But was able to resist the urges despite having cash in my pocket. Also, a bonus was that I won the comp and pocketed £40 from a £10 entry fee (YAY).

Grand National is gonna be tough though because my wife and I usually have £10 each on a few horses. Trying to decide whether doing that would mean going back to day 1 or whether it's ok recreational and as long as it's just that race!! Any thoughts? To be honest I'm not that bothered but she loves the race and we do it every year.

Craig

OK after reading some other forums and replying I thought about what to put on mine. OK I'll start from the beginning and try and explain the highs and lows of me....

So it all started when I was a youngster (I'd didn't realise it at the time) but I used to play cards with my granddad for a few pennies. Then when pubs didn't have an age limit on fruit machines I used to spend £s on them (flashing lights and the thoughts of jackpots were too luring).

At age 17 during final years of A Levels I got into greyhounds with a mate of mine at the bookies. Sometimes losing bus fare money after school and having to walk 5 miles home.

Left school with poor A Levels (i'm actually a clever guy but got bored at school and Uni never interested me) and I tried to get a job as an accountant. Wrote to hundreds of firms but nothing so had to go on dole. £75 per fortnight but when I collected it I was straight down the bookies. Mostly came home with nothing and had to lie about where I had been.

Finally got a job and during lunch times I'd go to bookies again so never had any savings.

Moved away from home town when I met someone and for 2 years didn't gamble but then I had to do accounts for a bookies (I'm an accountant) and it was when the betting exchanges started. So got back into it in a big way and slowly built up debt, increased mortgage and second charges etc. I then wen self employed 8 years ago and earned less but spent more on credit cards......

So 6 years ago I couldn't pay credit cards and couldn't afford to live so came clean (broke down) and asked parents for help. My parents have always been good with money and didn't judge me. Dad got a loan for me from a bank which I paid all my credit cards off (defaulted) and I paid him back every year until finally got it all paid off last year. Strictly speaking my Nan passed away and left a small amount to me which was enough to clear it. So now £400 a month saved and just have to deal with secured loans which I will sort when my default come off in August.

What did I bet on? well any sport/slots and casinos. Stopped going to bookies when I witnessed a man getting his head kicked in for no reason at a bookies....kinda makes you think twice about it lol.

Over the year I have bet on every sport and even bet on who wins the toss in a football/cricket match etc. Bowl, netball, womens football, basketball and of course the normal cricket, footie, darts, snooker etc. Trouble is I love sport. I'm very patriotic and will support any England/GB sport even if we are underdogs. So I always want to gamble. But you know what....watching sport with no betting is so much more fun and stress free.

So, why do I want to be gamble free....well 2 reasons. The obvious one being I want to stop wasting money and time, but the other reason is that my wife and I are about to go through IVF. Basically me balls don't work properly and so we need help lol. And I don't want to bring a kid into a life with a gambling dad.....

So I am here, laid bare so to speak, to hopefully become gamble free once and for all.

But I am lucky, very lucky because the gambling made me more open to risk and I'd never have become self employed if I wasn't a gambler. I am building up a good business and will hopefully one day be able to put everything behind me....

I am also lucky as I have a positive attitude towards life and appreciate the good things in life and realise how lucky I am to still have my wife and a roof over our heads, food on the table etc. You see I have always believed that there are people out there who need more help than me.....and I don't mean that in a conceited way. I want for luxuries and wealth but if that doesn't happen I can appreciate the little things too.

And if a miracle happens and we have a baby then I wont want for anything else....

I realise that not everyone has the support I had so again I am lucky, but if I can support others on here then I will. Everyone with this addiction is a decent person with a demon that takes over and we all deal with it in different ways.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my ramblings and pray you never meet me as I can talk with the best of them.

Cheers

Craig

well done on being self employed , and wish you all the luck in the world having a baby keep strong and thanks for your comments

So anyway I was telling a client today about my gambling problems etc and she was so understanding about it, that it made me want to spend sometime reading and responding to people posts.

So after 4 hours I have been moved, angered, inspired by the posts I have read, because everyone has their own stories, but we are all bound by the same bond. We all have a problem which to those who don't have addiction problems seems incomprehensible. Why not just stop? Because we can't. But with the help of the people on here I think every single one of us can in our own way achieve goals.

I don't for a minute think all of us will become gamble free because we are all different and life throws so many problems at us that makes us break, but the important thing is getting back up and starting again.

Perhaps we should all take every last penny, or last amount of credit from our cards and buy a huge mansion and for one year live together and keep a close eye on each other ? LOL.

Take care

Craig

Craig,

Your words on my diary made me realize how important my child is to me and he is worth so much more than this s**t gambling addiction i have. Your post touched me and made me cry and im 39.. Thank you for the lovely words and i hope all the best for you and your wife. i am on a mobile so writing is tough i will post to you again more once i get to my laptop.

Thank you again so much from my family to yours

CL

Hi All

CL - no problems although feel bad I made you cry. No harm in shedding a tear every now and again.

Spent today at Drayton Manor theme park with the wife, her sister and his husband and their little boy. Such a great day and no thoughts of gambling on the National. Checked the result once home but only out of curiosity.

Anyway, I think if my maths is correct I'm now 10 days gamble free.

Keep up the good work all.

Craig