I started gambling 17 years ago. started one night kids where in bed and all I was doing was thinking about what bad stuff had happened in the past and was going on in my life... I found a link signed up and started to play. Within a few weeks a was playing more and more that lead to years and found myself just escaping my harsh realities. 8 years ago I found it had taken over my life, most time while I wasn't playing I was thinking about playing I was hardly sleeping, it was affecting my relationships. So many times I thought this has to stop ? where does it stop? And realised it doesn't.. not until I make it stop. Then I felt panicked about it ever stopping and it got worse (even when I thought it couldn't ) I hit despair so many times, I sought support and quite often they say... Find things you enjoy doing. In reality there was Nothing (or so I thought) I'm now 35 there was one day a couple of weeks ago I was in despair I couldn't play I couldn't fund to play I'd borrowed so much money I couldn't ask anyone. I found myself looking Reiki and meditation (I had no interest in these) I became curious but then carried on playing.... after gambling one day I had a few £'s in the bank and rather than spending it back online gambling for the first time ever I spent it on an online learning course, I started doing little bits of meditating here and there. Last week on the 16/06/2023 for the first time in 17 years something came over me I felt adrenaline and I did something I've never been able to do! I went onto the 24/7 gamcare and if they could QUICKLY help me put gamblock in place (which they did) I have never felt more empowered in my life as I did when I it that button! I felt amazing and accomplished I did worry I would wake up the next day and think "what have I done" I waited for it...instead a voice in my head said this is the first day of the rest of your life. It has been a week and it has been hard but not because of gambling but because of the realisation of how Much TIME I have lost with my children the money I have lost and not been able to do things but each day i CHOOSE not to carry guilt forward for something that cannot be undone or changed but to embrace the power I have found from very deep within and put that energy into creating a brighter future for myself. I am still signed up for one to one support and am waiting for this but right this moment I have a new lease of life I wish to make the longest path in my life.
Congratulations mate. Make sure to stay on your toes and always be ready to fight it. I stopped for 4 months and last month I started again and now I've lost £3000 in that short time. Be careful and good luck for your future!
Congrats on reaching out to the gamcare team and putting the stops in place. Reaching out immediately for support is something I hope to do as my recovery starts.
Great inspiration!
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