Working in betting shop and fighting with my own addiction

I've cried today.. yesterday and the day before.. I saw the train coming towards me.. then I thought about my parents and other family members. I calmed down for the moment.. it is depressing.. I feel strong at one moment and I think I can fight it, but the next minute I feel so weak and have no idea what to do.. How can I get the trust back from the person I love? the person who was next to me supporting me and believing in me? what can I do to stop myself from doing stupid things affecting myself and others??

Welcome laygro

I think you have took the first steps in admitting your weakness and you have come here. We all started gambling an could control it but the more you win the more you want too win an it gets worse cause the more you lose the more you seem too lose there is no end to your winning an no end too your losing which means that's where the problem is. On reading you need to seriously give up gambling as there is more peoples futures involved in your gambling or you will end up losing more than just the money. I have gambled for 15 years an was close too losing everything an no appreciate things more now. Maybe working in bookies is not best option but safest job cause there will always be people chasing there dreams. A thought you seeing people losing all there money would put you off. Cause u know an I know bookies always win

Hi Laygro

You have to confront your demons head on. First and foremost your life is about you and you alone. There is no point trying to recover to save a relationship as if this is the case it sounds like you are dependent upon this person to live. You have to get yourself right in order to have an honest relationship. There are lots of ways to learn to live with this addiction. Honesty is, in my opinion, a big part of recovering. Honest with yourself first, then fill in the missing blanks. Get yourself excluded from every possible place you can gamble and limit your access to cash. Some of these road blocks hurt at first but no one said it would be easy. It is up to you how much you want to stop gambling. Lastly thank you very much for posting as it reminded me of the pain that awaits should I want to return to my old ways of lying and cheating!

Take care

Hi

well done for taking the positive steps of coming onto this site and admitting that you have a problem. It is the hardest thing but we are all in similar spots as you and we can all support each other here.

Gambling is a disease but you can beat it. If it means for you to give up your job because you find it too hard then that is what you should do.

You need to take as many steps as you can to avoid going back there- self exclusion, bet filters, etc..

Is there anyone you can let deal with your finances at the moment? If so give them responsibilty while you are going through this.

When you win you gamble more to get that urge and when you lose then the chasing the losses start so its a lose/lose situation at all times. The only way forward is to not start because as a CG once you start you cannot stop- therefore why gamble in the first place.

Debts can be dealt with over time (you could speak to CIB about your options) and once you have put some measures in place to protect yourself maybe your family can see how much you are willing to do to get control back of your life.

Compulsive gambling is a terrible affliction but you can beat it.

Gamcare offer free counselling support which may also help and believe me keep posting and take it one day at a time and life will get better.

Take Care

Linda

sounds like you are having a rough time, i think we can all empathise with how you are feeling and the stresses / emotions you are going through.

working in a betting shop must be so difficult. Surrounded by temptation. i guess when you do see people winning, just remeber that if and when they do leave with the money... you or another betting shop will see them again and they will hand it all back.

I am sure you also get to see the more depressing side of gambling with people losing $$$ in FOBT and horse racing.

In terms of gaining trust from your partner i think that will come with time and abstinance from gambling.

It might be worth taking measures to limit the amount of cash you have access to, try self exclusion from local book makers.

keep up the good work, things will get easier

Thank you everyone for responding and supporting.. I am calling my parents every day. It helps me to stay strong. But knowing that she will leave me it makes me so weak and I cant blame her, because she was so good to me all the time.. I didnt treat her as I should of, I lied to her, when she was my best friend, my soul mate.. How did I become this person?? I never wanted to be like that... I only thought 'Let me try my luck today'.. maybe...

I bought myself a diary today to record my expenditure, overdraft and loan balances. I will try to get a habit of filling it in every day and collect all of my reciepts.. I hope it will help me to manage my money better, remind myself what position I'm in and how did I get there.. Hopefully in the long run I will be able to see what progress I have done by stoping myself from gambling. I have selfexcluded myself from majority of the gambling websites around two months ago. Local bookies dont bother me anyway, but I will try to stay from them anyway.. Thinking to find a second job to get rid of my debt as quick as possible becouse it bothers me a lot, creating that urge inside me..

Hi Laygro,

Welcome to the forum and well done for making the first steps towards quitting.

Perhaps the relationship may be salvageable if you take certain steps which prove to her you are for real this time? Perhaps handing over your finances to her? I know this is daunting and not very pleasant to do (and massively limits your own freedoms in the short term), but it is very effective (it worked for me) and proves to her you mean business. Possibly show her this forum? Show her that you are absolutely determined this time.

Also, I know we live in tough times and jumping from one job to another is not easy but.... I think you have to try and switch jobs, surely? I cannot begin to imagine how difficult it would be to try and recover from a gambling addiction while being in a bookies every day for hours on end.

I know you enjoy it but you can enjoy other jobs too. I know you have a wage you are used to but... it could end up being a false economy. If the shop triggers more gambling you could end up putting a huge chunk of your wages back into gambling, effectively working for free or very low wage. I would say it's not worth the risk and this could be a priority - but obviously don't want to tell you how to live your life! I guess I just tried putting myself in your shoes and couldn't imagine how difficult that would be surrounded by gambling all day long when trying to give up. Well, good luck - keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

Cheers,

Ross

Thank you Ross. Reading your post gave me a lot more confidence. It is much appreciated.

I feel like I'm on the right track.. All I need to do is stick to it. It is very difficult to work in bookies for me.. Seeing people winning from tips I sometimes give to them makes me think 'i could of done it myself'.. Even yesterday I tipped one of my regular customers helping him to win £68.. Unfortunetly I dont have good self control and I go crazy when I start gambling.

I've just spoken to my parents.. helps me to think straight.. I need to get rid of the urge for quick money and I realised today that the negative amount, the overdraft on my account bothers me a lot. that negative amount on my debit card annoys me so much.. I dont have that problem with my loan payments, because its like a monthly bill which I normally pay as soon as get my salary.. I've tried to refinance my account today, but the bank couldnt help me so I just gonna have to deal with this myself.. I dont like it that feeling inside me, when I get my wages and Im still down, every month..All I want is to cancel that overdraft limit i have...

And I understand now that if I want to stop gambling I have to say no to any gamble even how harmless it might look. its just not for me..

thanks rainman.. I think in a way you are right, I have to deal with the problem rather than running from it.. I am were I am at the moment, all I can do is try to stay positive and keep fighting with it for myself and for people around me. I cant change the past but I can change the future..

I feel a bit depressed at this minute.. feeling like going to bookies and spending a tenner.. hate this feeling..

no gamble this year yet.. I hope this will stay like that for the rest of my life..