Humour

I'm not sure what you're really getting at here Phil.

Are you actually still harbouring beef from some previous post, or something...It feels like that.

Humour's fine along as it doesn't interfere with telling newbies what to do

Sorry but my post wasn't anything to do with a "beef" as I don't want one with anyone and have licked my wounds. I was expressing a view. Best wishes, Phil.

And my point about telling people what to do was on my most recent diary entry. Again, best wishes, Phil

A man went to the Drs and said -

' Every time I raise my arm it hurts '

The Dr replied -

' Well don't do it then ' 😉

Boom, boom, Tommy Cooper.. can relate it to gambling......

Just to reiterate after three days with the forum down - I'm not after a beef with anyone particularly as my posts were moderated for a few weeks and I was excluded from the chatroom for two weeks recently. My post above seems to have gone off on a bit of a tangent (!) but I meant mocking some of the thoughts I have is a good thing instead of thinking they are reflective of reality or intent which is why I use the expression "intrusive thoughts". Best wishes, Phil.

Well Phil, I don't think you should mock your thoughts. You wouldn't mock someone else so why mock yourself.

That said, fair point about being able to 'see' thoughts as being, well...just thoughts and not necessarily truths.

Addicts are especially prone to self limiting thoughts - 'I could never do x,y or Z', or beliefs 'I'm not good enough, unloveable' etc'.

Exercises which help you to CHOOSE whether to attach to thoughts are very helpful. And this is what mindfulness is largely about.

In ACT this process is called 'defusion'. There are exercises to create distance. For example, if you have a recurrent negative belief - repeat it in the voice of homer Simpson. Try it a few times. See what effect it has when you repeat that thought in a normal, non homer l style. Loads more exercises which really makes these thoughts lose their bite.

Your mind is conjuring up all these thoughts, many of which are unhelpful, but the mind is trying to help. It's trying to problem solve and protect. So go easy on it. Thank it, as you decide not to attach to the thought.....

Thanks for the response. Some wise words there. Cheers, Phil.

I think we need some humour about well Im still here and plodding along. You have to laugh otherwise I would go mad. I have to find some joy in living and look for the simple pleasures. There are thought processes in making the past history and humour is part of it

I admire the honesty from people who have slipped but dont feel this is just an empathy club for people who have slipped to gather together. I understand the addiction and that people slip but there is also a time for tough talking. We know what works and I do see the confusion from new members. Its a fine line and Im not a trained counsellor. I perhaps do sometimes cross the line of what they want to hear first out....however I speak the truth and I mean well.

I see threads go silent after three posts and wonder if they were ready to hear anything. I wasnt ready to hear anything for 10 months but I wouldnt really have just wanted platitudes and empathy. There is a time to lay it on the line and I appreciate that. I had someone upset me by mentioning my hypocrisy but that was my problem. It was me that was not seeing things clearly.

Its quite difficult advising people because I could just say call gamcare and I dont want to soft soap them too much. It can depend on how people introduce themselves and what they say.

Lets be quite frank that a short post saying" Im stopping today can you help?" doesnt give me a barometer of what they are ready to deal with and they want to hear.

It does take more than deciding to stop and new people have to understand as quickly as possible that it does take strong blocking measures and a support network including counselling.

Some of the best feedback Ive had has been the tougher talking and nothing changes if nothing changes angle. This is a devastating addiction so there will be some tough talking.

The forum is here for everyone to vent and express their feelings. I try and help and its also theraputic for me to be honest about my issues with the aim of informing others that depression an underlying issues do lead to escape gambling

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

I'm in therapy for a different reason (a long-standing anxiety-based condition combined with a withdrawal program for a long-term dependency on tranquillisers) but the subject of gambling has come up and I have with this therapists' guidance, my own insight and the advice of some people on this forum (rarely in real life as most of my friends, famlily and acquaintances are either non-gamblers or either rarely gamble) come to some conclusions that were relevant to my life.

Believe me, If I hadn't attempted to have had a more light-hearted approach to life over the last 15 months (not just stopping and happily staying stopped from gambling but other issues and life events and lots of mistakes along the way) I think I would have lost the plot. Best wishes, Phil.

I have a veeery good sense of humour in general but it really doesn't show much here or in anything to do with gambling. It was and is all too fraught and raw.

Can't see anything wrong with advocating what works either. No-one knows what sticks and 'there there' gets no place soon. .

Humour matters in my opinion especially if you have come out of hell

Hi 

I use to think that telling jokes would help me be accepted by others.

One day at a counsellor he asked why when I am asked a hard question I giggled.

I then understood that my laugh was a nervous reaction to my fears.

Being in the recovery program I use to react to the mention of God religion or such.

Today I can say honestly I found ahealthy recovery with out any religious beliefs what so ever.

Yet I can say that I am a spirtual person today.

My conscience is based up on spirtual values.

When I do or say things that hurt others I tend to feel their pains by my healthy conscience.

I do make funny comments now and again.

Yet not telling jokes means I can be my self today a much healthier person.

Not telling jokes means I am nt living in nervous fears today.

Being in the recovery seems very scary at first and I was very nervous trying to give therapies.

Yet over time healthy therapies reduced my fears.

I also become more trusting with other people.

After being in the recovery for some time I see and hear my self in other people.

Being in the recovery program was and is a life saver to me.

Onl once it took it seriously and invested more time and effort in to my recovery I felt a much healthier person in myself.

As we get more healthier you find you get more light bulb moments where it makes so much sense and your path is much more clearer in your life today.

The healthy choices are there for me to make even today.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Some times people tell jokes to hide the hurt child in them self. The addictions were a very unhealthy form of self abuse. Only once I abstained from unhealthy habits could I exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits. Sitting on my hands asbtaining was not enough for me. I needed to motivate myself into gear.