Irresponsible/unaffordable lending

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Andersong1dog
(@osi23yguf8)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

Hi everyone. Ive not gambled since before Christmas.  My gambling, really started due to boredom, being depressed and being lonely. I am making complaints to various lenders and also to over 40 casinos about irresponsible lending./gaming To give me a focus to fill void of gambling.

I came clean to my husband about everything but he has stood by me which I'm thankful for.  I know I'm to blame for situation I'm in but there should still be focus on lenders and casinos that take advantage of vulnerable adults. 

Initially was great saver, had great credit rating, no loans, mortgage clear everything was great. In 2015 i had breast cancer, chemo, radiotherapy and on medication still to this day. Ive had many operations but 2019 things came to a head at work, i was forgetful (still am) servely fatigued, and in a lot of pain. I had to take ill health retirement.

At first I was OK but over time I felt lonely and bit depressed about my body changes and ailments then lock down happened. Gradually without noticing I started to gamble and gamble a lot to the point I’m at today. I’ve used every penny I had. Savings i had for my kids. Remortgaged. Then 6 months later Remortgaged again. This was to pay off car loan. Other loans and credit cards but it just built up again.
My forgetfulness is still an issue because I genuinely don’t realise that I continue to deposit.
I’ve used gamstop as my daughter set it up as she’s my registered carer. But I was still able to gamble on my husbands accounts by transferring funds to an old account of his. I came clean spoke to my GP about this and now have keyworker.
I feel that remortgage for 75000 shouldnt have been given. They didnt look at bank statements and broker that i spoke to advising gambling on statements  said dont worry they wont check.  In my mind i just wanted to clear credit cards and get back on track. I paid everything when i got the remortgage funds but once paid off i gambled again.
I was awarded from my current bank 5000 overdraft, 200 overdraft, credit cards 10300 and 1100, then 11000 with another bank and 1000 overdraft, and another bank 7500, and 12000 and 2 further cards 13500 and 1100  all used on gambling then I remortgage 6 months later for 151000 to clear all credit cards and 25000 loan. At this point i came clean about it all. 
When i look at what ive spent i just cannot comprehend.  Im retired since i was 42years old and should never have got a remortgage and they shouldve reviewed any current limits as my spending habits, funds in and out off accounts were not normal and should have been questioned. These unaffordable financial items have contributed to my gambling and if they were questioned at anytime when major changes started to occur on my accounts I believe I would have realised sooner and be in better position than I am today.
I'm in debt up to my eyeballs over 60000 debt with cards/paypal/klarna and in debt management program.
My mortgage is 1000 per month now and i owe family about 17000.
I honestly felt like I'd been better off not being here but I spoke to my family and it's not worth it to hurt them. I just need to start fighting back. I still get days I'm in so much pain or chronic fatigue creeps in but I'm trying. Has anyone been in situation where they have one against banks or casinos or should I just accept I got me here and move on. Ps all my cases financial ombudsman has been passed and specialist lawyer is looking at my case to see if anything can be done
I'm embarrassed and angry ive done this
This topic was modified 2 weeks ago 3 times by Andersong1dog
 
Posted : 2nd February 2025 11:56 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 6139
Admin
 

Hello Andersong1dog,

Thanks for sharing your story.

You have been through so much, with your health, and with your gambling.  Well done for opening up to your family, and sharing here too.

It sounds like your love for your family is a protective factor for you, and you feel keen to take an active approach to your recovery.

If you like, you could start an online journal in the 'Recovery diaries' section of the forum, as a way to get into a routine of regularly posting on the forum. You would also be welcome to attend the chatrooms, so you can get immediate peer support.

You might be aware that free 1-2-1 appointments are also available, if you would like a regular support session with a practitioner. Please call us at any time on freephone 0808 8020 133, if you would like to discuss support options. We can facilitate your referral to your local support service, if you would like that. 

If you don't feel like calling us just now, here are a few links to browse:

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/outreach-and-training/womens-pathway/

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/find-local-support/

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/online-support-services/

https://community.gamcare.org.uk/forum/welcome-to-the-gamcare-forum/talkbanstop-access-a-free-gamban-license-now-through-the-gamcare-forum/#post-1993231

Take care,

Adam.

 

 

 
Posted : 3rd February 2025 9:40 pm
Andersong1dog
(@osi23yguf8)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

Thank you Adam. I joined chat on Friday and really felt good about it. Yeah ill defo look at diary. I do have short term memory loss since chemo so defo need to set reminders. I'm glad I've opened up as it's honestly took that heavy load off

 
Posted : 3rd February 2025 10:24 pm
Tazman
(@tazman)
Posts: 401
 

I am really sorry to hear about your health issues and can understand how easy it id to get wrapped in all of this, i cant offer any legal advice from ethical point of view the banks should offer better protection for its customers to ensure their safety, the funny thing was i actually got a call from the bank when i purchased something over few hundred pounds yet when i was lossing my wages to gambling and taking loans out i didnt once get any calls to ask if i had any issues. What i can suggest putting all blocks in place and handing financal control  thing can surely improve am on day 574 g/f so it surely is possible to improve, i was fortunate enough my debt wasent huge however throughout the years i have been gambling i have lost over £150k and i will have to live with this, what worked for me early days was checking this site and using the chatroom regularly which helped me understand i am not alone the only people who understand this addiction are the people who are addicts themselves so dont be too hard yourself i use to be very selfish person it was all about me, now my outlook is to help myself and others who are starting this journey and if it means to spend abit of time coming and listening to other people i have to push myself to keep me going

 
Posted : 4th February 2025 3:49 am
Andersong1dog
(@osi23yguf8)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

@tazman I am the same, online purchases held and queried but big transfers to paypal or in from PayPal or gaming sites were not challenged.

I feel good about speaking out here as no judgement. Even though I've told my family it's hard to explain how I gambled away over 200000.00 in 2 years.  My husband will say but would you walk in bookies and put 200000 on bet, I'm like it doesn't work like that I wish it was that easy and answer.  Im trying to explain you just get wrapped into the buzz, excitement when you get big win so you think put enough in to get another big win and before you know it you've borrowed, used everything on many sites chasing your losses but thinking I'll get that big payout soon.

You sound like you have got to grips with everything and I'm happy for you.  Im still at start and I'm totally skint paying a remortgage that I didn't need and debts. I can't even say I'm in good health. My debts probably making my health worse but my 2 kids keep me going. My son plays football u15s for big club in Glasgow and looks like he could go all the way and my daughter with her studies so that all keeps my motivation going.  

 

 
Posted : 4th February 2025 8:21 am

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