I asked a question on this thread regarding barriers. In layman terms it was whether you should hang with pals who are addicts when your in re(dis)covery.
Now whether I can articulate this very well, but this topic could be same, same but different. My gambling cost me my relationship of 17 years but there's more to it than gambling which is irrelevant. When I was with my ex and in action but bang in denial, our close friendship was real, but my addiction head was granduerous and I ' ashamedly , kept her at the lower end of the vertical sliding scale, hence was a toxic relationship governed by my greandeurose manipulation..... Not sure where I'm going with this, but when a addict is in addiction they have a granderousy over there partner and if they do find re(dis)covery and the partner doesn't, it remains toxic as there still granderous. Hence, the difficulties that arise when people think that it's only the addict that needs help/ support in re(dis)covery.....toxic
A both side of the fence debate....
Addicts + Addicts = toxic harmony.
Addicts + none addicts = TOXIC
Addicts in recovery + none addicts not in recovery = TOXIC
Addicts in recovery + none addicts in recovery = Harmony evolution.
None addicts + None addicts = HARMONY
The last two is where it's at
You forgot
Addicts in recovery + Addicts in recovery = ?
This was a subject i raised with Shiny many moons ago. I point blank danced to my own tune talking that i couldn't live with addict in recovery...why? What if we both start arguing and one goes off in a room for online play & other in the bookies? We could trigger each other.
That has scared me the most...but what i tend to forget is "in recovery"....& as Shiny said, there wouldn't be a better person to go through lives ups and downs with...
It didn't surprise me at all that in my previous AA room there was around 4 couples who got together and lives happily to this day because they met in the rooms....recovery rooms & working the program.
Proper out of question thought here lol..but here we go.
My fella has no issues with addictions..never even got his nose in white powder (applause)...I keep telling him I'm an alcoholic and even if he just smiles now...he doesn't really believe me. Do i believe myself? ..good q.
As of gambling...for the first time i think to keep it to myself. ..i may tell him one day how i got in this "trap".
Soo...end result: Addict in recovery + Addict in recovery = happy life! (Going by facts i have witnessed 😉 )
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