My fiancee has a major gambling problem, he use to just out coupon on but now he looses money in the machine on rulette. I just had a baby 3 weeks ago, he works All the time and I take care of our daughter day and night. He gets payed every week, last night he got paid and came back telling me he lost all the money in the machine and did admit he has a gambling problem that he's been lying to me for ages and he has lost a lot. I've no idea how to help him, he asked me for help but I just don't know where I start 🙁 any advice?
Sandra
Welcome, Sandra.
You've made an important first step in posting on this forum.
You might be upset and anxious for the future if you've found out that your fiancee has a gambling problem, especially with your newborn daughter to take care of too. With you looking after a newborn day and night and him working all the time as you said, I imagine that might be stressful for both of you. Sometimes people gamble as a release for stress. Unfortunately the fixed odds betting terminals in the betting shops tempt a lot of people to lose a lot of money in a very short space of time. A lot of problem gamblers get started that way.
It's good that he has told you about it. That's his first step to recovery. It's also good that he has asked for your help and that you seem willing to support him, but you must also take care of yourself. Only he can make the decision to recover. Sometimes those closest to the gambler end up taking on all the burden of their problem. You are not responsible for his recovery, but you can help him.
If he really wants to stop, he can self-exclude from the betting shops where he has been using the machines. If he takes in a passport photo of himself they should make sure that he is banned from the premises. You could try and make sure that he doesn't have access to money he could gamble with, although I understand that could be difficult if he is paid in cash. Is there any way his wages could be paid into an account that only you could access?
Your partner could also seek help, if he is ready, from somewhere like ourselves and/or Gamblers Anonymous. Your partner is welcome to call us on 0808 8020 133 from 8am to midnight, as are you. There's also the NetLine which you can get to right from this website, if you prefer to chat instead. There's a link on the top left of this page. It's confidential so each of you can call us and we won't discuss whether the other has been in touch.
You are also both welcome to use this forum, though bear in mind the forum is public so
anything you post here is viewable by anybody. You've already taken the step of posting here. I hope you are able to get support and insight from the experiences of people who've been through it too.
Thanks again for posting, Sandra, and you are welcome to call the Helpline or Netline any time from 8am to midnight every day. We also have a chatroom in the evenings from 8pm-9pm.
best wishes
GamCare Admin
Hi Sandra
hope this helps?
keep in touch and let us know how he goes?
might help you to get some support with gamcare?
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
