Advice... am I being weak

Hi,

Does your partner recognise he has a problem with gambling? The best advice given to me by members of the forum was to look after myself. If your partner does acknowledge there's a problem then there's loads of help and practical things he can do to help himself - but only if he wants to! Only you can decide what's right for you but look after yourself financially and emotionally. Take care.

Hello,

I know how you feel. A lot of my anger stemmed from a feeling of 'why should I have to sort out your mess' and 'why should I have to lose out on things that we need like the bills not being paid or going on holiday ect just because you can't be responsible enough to look after your/OUR money'.
I think you do have to think about what he actually contributes to you and your relationship. I had a good look at mine and decided to give him an ultimatum - either he steps up as an equal partner in the relationship rather than having to be "mothered" financially, OR he will lose me...as at the end of the day, you're in it together, if you're having to bail him out every time he spends all of his wages, that's certainly not fair on you and it is a horrible way to feel. Luckily my partner chose to quit it altogether and start going to councelling and now only 3 months on from then, things are going really well. The councelling is doing him a world of good, im keeping a good eye on the finances and he tells me he hasn't been tempted...so I think sometimes they do just need a reality check and a wake up call to how much they're affecting your life to be motivated to make that change.
If I could give you any advice it would be to say that a partner is supposed to be the person that you can rely on, that supports you through anything and helps you through life...the moment that it becomes you doing that for them but not vice versa...then something needs to change.